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    #45550 - 04/25/09 08:21 PM Angry & feeling like a deer in headlights...
    2Bornot2B Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 04/25/09
    Posts: 2
    But soooo happy to have found this board! I have been searching for so long today that my eyes are blurry but I am so grateful to be new here grin

    I have 1 DS that will be 6 this summer. He is finishing K next month and is entering 1st grade in the fall because I am overriding the teacher's opinion to have him repeat K. I am feeling a lot like an idiot because I didn't know I had a gifted ds! I tested very high on the SB way back in the dark ages and my son acts just like me - what's to notice???

    His K teacher has told me at every meeting with her that he is so smart and gifted. Then she always hands me his test reports that he has failed knowing his alphabet, numbers, phonics, etc... and that she is sending him to different 1-on-1 sessions to learn these things. She never tells me beforehand and is never specific with details. Okay, I was taught that teachers love children and figured she was trying to help him.

    Then our last meeting in Feb. she reports she is recommending he repeat K? And simultaneously is showing me a Cogat test (The K teacher administers herself) where is doing so well and is easily in the gifted category? She goes on to tell me that if I have my DS repeat K, then when he does start 1st G, he can go straight into the gifted program full-time? I have never heard of holding a kid back so you can promote them?

    My decision is that he will go to 1st grade and I will catch him up at home. But, in my head, I'm still trying to figure out why my kid isn't learning at school? Here's where the gifted part smacked me in the face - my child sat down with me for appx. 10-20 minutes a day and in about 30 days is now reading in a mid 1st grade range & jumping further each day! I realized when I sat down with him, he had already learned to just say "I don't know" and to not even try to every question! I have no idea what that teacher is doing in her class?

    On top of that, we get his report card and he is doing well in just about everything (reading is his thing, not numbers but we're working on it). Stuck inside the report card is his Cogat test scores. According to the teacher, who has praised him for being so advanced, he is barely able to speak normally and is well below average expressing his needs non-verbally! (I'm sorry, I'm trying to condense this) The test is scored so low that when I show the results to his pediatrician, she laughed because she thought we were playing a joke on her! The ped. wants me to demand he be retested by the school or pay privately to have it done.

    From what I've read online today, it doesn't look like new test scores would make a difference. Today in the mail I received the recommendation for summer school for my ds. I can't imagine sending him to cover material he already knows at a slower pace that what he gets at school now?

    I'm a mom who let him have a "free range chicken" childhood. I raised him at home and the 1st day of school was his first time away from family since conception. I made sure he had love and security but pushed him forward to play with other children and learn things about his world outside of any educational environment. If he had questions, they were answered. He is eccentric but I didn't notice because so am I smile

    He was great the first day of school and couldn't wait for his new adventure! This year, he has followed directions, plays well with others, sits in his seat, etc... He is also precocious enough to have received 2 time-outs that I am aware of - my favorite was for screaming with some buddies and trying to start a "riot" because the room light was off.

    So far I feel like a deer in headlights because I am just now noticing and exploring my child's amazing gifts! Long ago I became accustomed to strangers coming up to us and telling us how they overheard our son and how smart or gifted or etc... he is. When DS was just 2, I had a lady (who said she had a masters in ed.) come up to me in produce and ask if I was going to have him tested because he was so smart? The funny part - DS wasn't even talking yet! What did she see that I wasn't seeing? The talking thing? My son's ped. was amazed because he went from speech delayed to speech advanced during the 3 months inbetween visits. I just figured he finally decided he had something to say, lol!

    But am I also already relegated to teaching him at home and traditional school just becomes his playgroup? I really tried to condense this and left a lot out. I am really hoping someone can relate to this overwhelming feeling - how do I jump in? How do I advocate without marking him for punishment from misguided educators? Do I need to? I tried to speak to his K teacher about his rapid achievements at home. Her answer? "I know, each child blossoms in their own time" and walked away before I could comment. But she's still recommended summer school? I hate to sound petty but is it possible I am dealing with a teacher who isn't all there? Would she tank test results on purpose? Why?

    Opinions and advice would be soooo greatly appreciated! Please chastise me for all that I overlooked and haven't mentally added up until now too!

    Thank you so much!

    Teresa & the best gift I have ever received, my ds!

    #45554 - 04/25/09 08:59 PM Re: Angry & feeling like a deer in headlights... [Re: 2Bornot2B]
    elizabethmom Offline

    Registered: 04/13/09
    Posts: 146
    Loc: East Coast
    I have nothing very helpful to offer, but just wanted to send my best wishes. Don't forget that some true geniuses did not speak until very late (not exactly your situation, but related), just because they weren't ready. My best advice would be to find a helpful expert, like a psychologist whom you love, and rely on their testing and advice. It might take several tries to find the right person, but that one right person could make a world of difference with advice. It also sounds like the teacher is at a loss, this is outside of her scope (been there, done that with my two kids and their teachers) and she needs guidance. Once you have a clear vision of where you are, you can guide the teachers, too.

    #45599 - 04/26/09 01:52 PM Re: Angry & feeling like a deer in headlights... [Re: elizabethmom]
    Tiz Offline

    Registered: 01/15/09
    Posts: 215
    Hi and welcome! It doesn't look like the teacher understands your DS, or maybe doesn't want to. I agree that summer school is not a good idea - making him cover material that he already knows will be no help! It is good to know that your ped. is helpful and that she can see how ridiculous the situation is. Unfortunately I don't have much advice to offer other than looking at other schools (if this is a possibility?) or homeschooling. Is there anyone in the school that you can talk to? Do you know who your DS's teacher will be next year and how they feel about things? You are in a tough situation, but at least you have found this board - there is lots of advice here.

    I also just want to add that my DS4.5 will often say that he "doesn't know" just to avoid any possibility of getting things wrong. He also spoke late, but when he started he spoke in sentences - it was like he didn't want to try it until he knew that he could do it. Maybe your DS isn't feeling secure enough in class to try and answer questions?

    Sorry I can't be more help, hopefully others will have something else to add.

    #45645 - 04/27/09 07:44 AM Re: Angry & feeling like a deer in headlights... [Re: Tiz]
    BWBShari Offline

    Registered: 10/24/08
    Posts: 1167
    Loc: NM
    I would opt for testing. The thing that we have found is that having your facts in hand goes a long way toward stopping the school's stupid arguments. The more knowledge you have, the better advocate you'll be. Schools tend to have their standard bag of answers for parents that start "pushing" but if you can present the facts, often times they find themselves at a loss. My DS6' school has gotten to the point where they follow my lead because I have my facts. I don't make statements that can't be backed up by numbers and research. Now that your denial bubble has burst, it's time to educate yourself!

    Good Luck and welcome!
    Mom to DS 10, DS 11, DS 13
    Ability doesn't make us, Choices do!


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