Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Loneliness

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and suggestions. I think that it had been a particularly bad day for DS as he had just gone back after a long Easter break. He is being included, but I think finds the whole group thing overwhelming and it would be so much better if he could find someone that can relate to him and that has similar interests. He doesn't want to read etc. at recess, he wants to be with the others and loves playing football so I can't work out why he feels lonely, maybe it is just because he knows that he isn't like the other kids his age, I am not sure. I know that he struggles to deal with other kids behaviour (like cheating, changing sides if their side is losing etc.).

Yes, we do have the DS and Wii etc. at home. Yesterday seemed a better day so I am hoping that it was just the "back to school blues!"

No, he doesn't have any special friends to stick up for him. I am sure that it isn't bullying that is an issue as he would definitely tell me and the school has very strict policies in place to prevent bullying. I think that it is just a case of him realising how little he has in common with other children his age. Thanks for your thoughts AaronAgassi.

Our DS is similar, though as he's gotten older, he's learned to think these situations through. One thing that DH helped me to understand (it's great to be married to one's opposite - one can learn a lot!!) is that oftentimes the size of the exaggeration is in direct proportion to the intensity of the feeling that the person is trying to express.

Perhaps your DS would benefit by having his feelings acknowledged first before going to the logical, "not EVERYone in your class said you're a loser."

Just a thought,

Wow, he sounds so much like my DS4 (almost 5). Everything is an exageration. Lately when he gets mad about things he will say things like "I am just so frustrated that I am not going to talk to you for 68 years" and sometimes it's months or hours or whatever...always random numbers. And occasionally he things people are being mean and they aren't. He loves to use the words "always" "never" "love" "hate" It's quite true that they are trying to express strong feelings, and I often use my counseling approaches with him by saying things like "so how does that make you feel?" and then talk to him about it. But I am the first to admit we are quite sarcastic in our house and often I will say "really? We always have this for dinner? I had no idea" And then he will say "it's just an expression mom, we don't really 'always' have it." Sometimes he is just being dramatic and we don't need a discussion, but sometimes there is more to it and he is really upset. The other day he told me "I don't really like reading" which is totally not true. What he really meant is that he didn't want to read a book right then. Sometimes he just needs help figuring out how to say what he means to say.