Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy I ticked off the teacher. What do I do now?

If you think it's overkill, then something's wrong with the way it's being taught. Math is about so much more than getting the right answer and getting it fast. It's a way of thinking, and it's not accomplished through repetition. Real proof (which most people don't see until college/grad school) requires creativity, logic, and innovation. Each problem is different, so when taught correctly, repetition should not be an issue. It sounds like you have a mediocre teacher.

See, that's the kind of instruction your kid needs. I'm so glad that you've found someone who can challenge him. Math competition problems are really great, too, and there are so many resources out there for that.

Wow. That's particularly impressive in that he hasn't been exposed to this material at all. Good for him, and good for you for making this happen. Sounds like the Tutor is a good apple.

I've seen the same thing in my son. It has something to do with a 'sense of justice' that is common in gifted. They just can't fake it sometimes.
Best Wishes,
Trinity

CFK,
I too have been in the "ticked off the teacher" situation with my 8 year old. Like your son, over the course of school, DS had lost any eagerness or trust that school was a place to learn new and interesting things. Instead his perception was that it was basically a torture session of unreasonable, antagonistic teachers that were basically out to get him. The work was mind numbingly boring (hence alot of basic math and grammar errors) and had no relevance.

His situation actually deteriorated to the point that we had to change his school this year. In retrospect the biggest thing I would have done differently was let DS know that he had our support 100%. Instead, we tried to balance his needs with the 100% accuracy first attitude of his teacher. It was a huge error on our part. Our son has been in counceling now for 6 months both individual and family to work through alot of the issues caused by the horrendous school placement for grades 1 and 2. Telling him he had our support didn't do a whole lot. Given him honest but level appropriate feedback on how we felt about his teacher, did help him to realize that that she was unfair to him and that he could do much more than she saw/allowed. For eg, we told him that her actions toward him were inappropriate for a teacher and gave him specifics. However, that did not mean that he was allowed to act inappropriately towards her. It really came down to learning that the world isn't fair but that we were in his corner. He would have to do his part to complete the work and knock off his attitude, but in return, we would provide alot more afterschooling opportunities (like your tutoring) and lighten up on the minor stuff.

Nothing we could do, changed his teacher's attitude. Since his teacher was also the owner of the school that led to a complete change in his education. Knowing that we weren't going to be able to change it, we focused on how to make it possible for DS to get through it until the end of the term. I hope that you are able to make some progress with your son's teacher, but from the phrasing of your post, it sounds like he is one of the 100% accuracy must be a "perfect" student to be considered smart. It is also likely that he has never seen a student like your son before and has no training on how to teach him to his level and needs. It is therefore easier to say to your son that he isn't as smart as "they" say than to figure out what is really going on. Some teachers just can't accept that the highly gifted really do learn differently. Just curious if you have heard the ADD/ADHD suggestion yet?

One other thought, can you advocate with the principal to have some in service training at the school on how gifted children present in the classroom? Something geared to helping all the teachers maybe find those children that might otherwise fall through the cracks? I'm not in the education field, but after his new school found out about DS (and the nightmare that he was coming from), they did a half day in service seminar on at risk students and identifying traits. Part of it focused on gifted and in particular how many present as careless, unmotivated, and similar to ADHD.
I certainly wish you the best and hope that your son's situation improves! Seeing the light dim in my son's eyes at the thought of going to school was heartbreaking.

CFK - I really think that even my outspoken boy was compliant and cooperative for years before starting to act out. I think they just have so much tolerance to insult and disrespect, and then "no more."

Is there anyway you can have him bring the Math book home and cheat? You type it for him? You type up a cheat sheet and he copies it? He does it but with the TV on? His brother take turns and do half of each sheet? make a party out of it in some way? Use a calculator?

Just wondering...
Trinity

DS and I were wondering why L'Engle has the Mrses steal sheets in the begining of the book, when they are supposed to be pure good. Can this be related? ((wink))
Trin

Nope. That's not cheating, that's survival!

Oh, CFK, that is wonderful news! And it must feel great to send your child off knowing that he isn't going into hostile territory every morning. I love the feeling I get when I'm having "issues" with someone and then get them resolved, especially when I feel like it's been a win on all sides. I hope you can enjoy the feeling and give thanks with enthusiasm tomorrow!!

Woo-hoo!

Go CFK!
I say "Ditto Dottie" - stashing the doubts and presenting a united front, (even if it's only yourself, LOL) is key. Even trying something that doesn't work is better than leaving a bad situation to fester, because then you learn from your mistakes, and are in a better position to fashion your next best guess. Then you can come here and "jello out!" Every parent needs to do that sometimes!
Trinity