Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy I ticked off the teacher. What do I do now?

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I think one of my biggest fears (with regards to dd's education) is not having a teacher recognize dd's giftedness. So I can relate to you feeling uncomfortable at the teachers reactions to your concerns at that initial meeting. You know what he's capable of and what an uphill battle to feel like you have to "prove" it to a teacher.

I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with addressing issues that are of concern to you. You should be able to tell his teacher that your son isn't challenged, is bored, etc. And I think the teacher should take those concerns seriously, not personally.

As far as the math is concerned; It is good that the teacher makes him show his work and catches ds's careless calculation errors. I wonder if your son is making those errors because a) its boring him and he doesn't care or b) he is going quickly and its not concerned with "how" he got his answer. Either way the teacher should not degrade him for it but I do agree that he should be correcting ds's errors.

There is no way I would stand for a teacher making a demeaning remark to my child. They're supposed to be the adult and its inexcusable. I would definately address that with him and the principal. As frustrated as your son is, even as his dislike is showing, it never excuses a teacher from making such a response TO your child.

Maybe others here will have some other suggestions as to how to handle this but IMO I would not let it lie as it is. Your son is unhappy and frustrated and you certainly don't want him to turn away from learning and from school in general.

Wow! I'm sorry that this has happened to you. That teacher was way out of line saying that your son isn't that bright.

I am a math teacher (gifted high school), and I would say that the teacher is partly right about the math. I don't know what kinds of mistakes your DS is making, but it's VERY important to be able to communicate mathematically. This includes showing (via some steps) or explaining how one arrives at an answer. Many people think that math is just about arriving at an answer, but math is a process that combines logic with verbal skills, too. Proving theorems, for instance, requires effective communication. I'm not saying that proof writing is the focus here; I'm just trying to illustrate a point. Even an engineer must be able to justify/explain why his/her bridge design is better than another. A statistician must be able to interpret a p-value. This involves mathematical communication.

In light of this, I still think the teacher was way out of line and should be trying to encourage (not discourage) your son. It's the teacher's responsibility to convey to your son WHY he needs to show more work or use correct units. An effective teacher can do this without making a student feel as though he's being treated unfairly or that he's not smart.

Some teachers enjoy GT kids.

Some are exasperated by them, but appreciate their academic curiosity and drive.
(My son had/has some great teachers who fit this category.)

Some tolerate them with no recognition of their aptitude.

Some cut them down verbally.

Some abuse their power by manipulating grades so a kid appears deficient in some area/s
This may include:
Inequitable nit picking
Unexpected heavy weight assigned for whatever the child performed poorly on
Ignoring established parameters (such as end of grading period)
Changing the �rules� mid-stream
With-holding pertinent information
Lying about �missing� work to lower over-all average
Unknown or convoluted grading matrixes

If there has been a CHANGE (since your conversation) in the way this teacher grades all the math tests, or if he only deducts points for missing $ signs on your son�s tests, then you are probably dealing with the last example. A pattern in behavior is the best indicator.

BTW, my work involves defining and identifying work-place disparate treatment (which really isn�t as subjective as most people imagine) and recommending best practices to reduce actual or perceived discrimination. Kids can be especially vunerable to "bad apple" teachers.

Unfortunately, parents often do not address the innappropriate actions for fear of reprisal which is a very real possibility with a true "bully" teacher.

If you are afraid (for your son) to confront the teacher or principle, just record the occurence in case the situation continues of escalates. There is a possibily that the teacher will realize his angry reaction and stop it. I wouldn't hold my breath for an appology though.

Hi CFK,
I don't know what to reccomend, but urge you to keep dis-ignoring! It's important for children to learn to show process, and that won't happen until they are learning material where there is a legitimate need to do this - if they are a big picture thinker and "just have" to do things for a reason. Apparently there are many many people for whom "because I said so" is plenty enough reason, but this type of attitude never stops amazing me.

Are you ready to homeschool him, at least until the end of the year? I think you can use this as an excuse to do what is in your heart, if in fact, that is what is in your heart.

((hugs))
Trinity

Thanks for your logical post, delbows! That really clarifies things, doesn't it? This is another one I'm saving for later...

Dear CFK,

I feel very strongly about your situation because it sounds like what recently happened to my DS9. DS9 is very mathematically able, knowing his times tables at 3, and everything in between. At 7, his IEP said he'd have Algebra; then again at 8. The teacher, who I really adore and respect, said he was pushing the limits of her math ability. It has always been OK because he had another math whiz in his class, they'd work together, and go through accelerated math and ALEKS. This year the boy skipped a grade to middle school and DS9 was teamed with the next best kid in the class. He started coming home with 80's and once a 50, all due to complete carelessness. I KNEW he knew the material (I've heard high IQ kids actually start Un-learning after too much repetition) but his sole goal was to get it done before the end of school so he didn't have to take it home. Plus he was disgusted, bored, etc. I met with the teacher with full chronology about all the guarantees in IEPs from yrs ago and told her specifically (and probably too emotionally) that I wanted him to be using the high school Alg 1 book. She said she'd request it. The district denied it--they're worried what they'll be able to do in HS I think. DS continued to be careless and I recently signed him up for AoPS Algebra course (Art of Problem Solving). I'm also working with my DS11 on Algebra who is PG, but the difference was AMAZING. DS9 grasps everything. He completely gets it. Much faster and thoroughly and with tremendous accuracy than his older brothers. He's so much happier and can go through the in-class stuff they do to prepare for grade-level state testing without complaint and with much fewer errors.

Long story to say that I believe your son is bored and you should take it into your own hands, if the guy doesn't recognize it and accelerate (maybe ask him to try giving him advanced work as an experiment). I'm trying to get the middle school where DS will go next year to let him take an online course at school during math time--maybe that's something for your DS?

On a side issue, I think proofs are important in math--we've all done them--but the requirements I've seen are completely inappropriate for highly gifted+ students. I feel like school has "trained" my DS9 like a puppet with showing his work, so that instead of instant answers to complex problems he was able to do a couple years ago, it takes him 5 minutes to go through all the steps and write it all down. I HATE it. Talk about stamping out drive and talent. I agree with Dottie--it's overkill. IEPs for PG kids should all have something about minimizing (or eliminating) repetition of lessons, and only a minimal amount of proofs (1 in 10?).

My guess is that no matter how technically perfect your son becomes in this class, this teacher will still find something to nitpick. Ordinarily your comments at the meeting probably would not have been offensive but this teacher was already primed to be offended.

I've come to realize that what I say or do is unlikely to change people's preconceived ideas.

Cathy

If your DS feels like he's doing busy work, then there's a bigger problem than just a rude teacher. That teacher needs to find a way to give your DS more challenging problems that require real thought. You've really got a fight on your hands. Good luck.

Some teachers are touchy about giftedness regardless of how you approach it with them.

My gut feeling in this case would be to address the issues with teacher. I'd give in on the $ sign, but carelessness can be indicative of lack of challenge. Introducing rigor might show a reduction in those errors.