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    #448 09/23/06 01:06 AM
    Joined: Sep 2006
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    josie Offline OP
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    Hi everyone,
    My 6 year old dd is level 2 gifted and currently in the first grade at a private school. First grade is boring her to tears but the school is very much against grade skipping. I haven't spoken to her teacher yet (she doesn't know a lot about Emma at all especially because she is very quiet and doesn't speak up a lot in class.) I would like to get Emma involved in some enrichment activities with other gifted kids. I looked into the Mensa organization, and she qualifies but I was told our local chapter (Cleveland, OH) doesn't offer anything really for her age, so there wouldn't be much point in joining. Any ideas??? I've searched the web for local groups and have come up short. Thanks for any ideas you may have! smile
    Joanne

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    Are you referring to Ruf's levels of gifted when you say 'level 2'? This is useful information when conversing with online pals -but the school isn't going to recognize the terminology.

    Do you have test scores to back that up?

    If so, share the test scores and the HG diagnosis from the tester with the school. You are a parent and want to make sure that you provide open communication and let them know what you know. etc. Not demanding - just informing. That alone may get you some cooperation.

    If not, don't diagnose to the school. Simply let the teacher know about some of your daughter's achievements and about your concerns about school boredom. Is there a way you can work together to address this? etc. This can also be a useful approach.

    As for enrichment activities - good luck. Hard to find stuff anywhere at that age for gifted, per se. (You might find a homeschooler group for gifted though - I have heard of some of those.) However, lots of other enrichment activities based on interests that may be better anyway - example - art or music classes. gynastics or dance classes. karate or sports teams. Brownies - whatever. While many of these aren't specifically for gifted kids, they often include gifted kids as parents of gifted kids are very likely to be searching for enrichment activities for their kids. Also - as long as they spark her interest - it will still serve as more useful than school in many ways.

    Definitely speak to the teacher though. You should avoid the G word unless you have a formal diagnosis, but you can talk around it.

    Good luck,
    Mary


    Mary
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    I'd join Mensa anyway and try to meet moms while you are there! Does your state gifted organisation put on Saturday Enrichment programs? Can you get to Pittsburgh for C-Mites?

    Personally, I think it's a crime for a school to bore a child to tears, and I'd let them know that if they don't make something good happen, then you'll find another school.

    I've been skimming the Picky Parent Guide: Choose Your Child's School With Confidence, the Elementary Years, K-6 by Bryan C. Hassel and Emily Ayscue Hassel and enjoying it very much. You might find it useful in "how to say it" to the school.

    Best Wishes,
    Trinity


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    Hello, I'm new to this site. However, I am a member of the SENG community, The Gifted Developement Center, and currently pursuing the injustice in the state of Illinois. It is already too late to help myself in this matter, so I intend to help future students avoid the life that I was forced to endure.

    My story is a little different than most. I was discovered as gifted in the first grade(1985) with an IQ of 168 out of 175. I was doing integers, multiplication, division, reading J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis and Shakespear in the first grade. My teacher told my parents that my scores were high school level and I should be moved to the 5Th grade. My parents rejected the idea of grade skipping. They also would not let me enter any gifted programs for some reason. In 6th grade, I was in the chess club and mated an Airforce Pilot and his commanding officer in less than 9 moves combined. Again, my parents jerked me out of that too. My math teacher that same year sat me in a corner and handed me a test. I scored a 9 out of a possible 9. My parents and teachers thought I cheated and made me retake the test under their supervision. Again I scored a 9. My teacher told my parents that a 9 is an automatic acceptance to University High School for the gifted. Before she was able to finish, my father said NO! My AP Physics class in 10th grade was my only experience with academic acceleration, and that was an accident. I ended up dropping out of high school with a sincere hatred for the world, but more towards my parents. I remember my 9th grade english teacher; I had done half the semesters work in 3 weeks and had 152% grade because of extra credit. I also remember the puzzlement on her face when I told her I was dropping out a year later. I was supposed to be the class of 1999, but I went through a self-paced GED program and became the class of 1998. My father made too much money and wouldn't pay for college. There's financial aid out the window. Here it is 8 years later, and I'm in the middle of my 2nd semester of college. My whole life feels like someone is choking me and only letting me take in 10% of the air I NEED. My outlook towards this countries education system and society in a general sense is a very complicated emotion.

    The point is that I was discovered at a very young age, but that is only one step. I was not only held back, I was hung out to dry. I've called my father twice in 4.5 years. My stepmother once in the same time period. I see a psychiatrist twice a week, to cope with social rejection and the loss of my family(they are still alive). The emotional damage was so traumatic that I still have repressed memories and repressed knowledge. I was doing college level Physics 9 years ago, now I struggle with elementary algebra. I 've labeled myself as a "genius-burnout". But even as a burnout, I'm too smart to fit in. Within the last 14 months, I've become more in touch with my intellect because of my therapy, and I've decided I could care less how I'm treated. Some people would give anything to have my problems, I would insult them if I tried to ignore it. I've seen these same results from others that are gifted and put through similar situations. Gifted people tend to detatch from those whom they think is holding them back. I just drafted up a way to build an infrared telescoped optics in a day and a half. I finished the drawing 4 and a half hours ago, and it will be built by Sunday. Where do I work? I'm 26 years old as of 09/26 and I work in a call center. But MAN it was fun drafting up an infrared telescope!!! Why did I draft it? Because I can,....

    Joined: May 2006
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    Dear Jeremy,

    I am so sad for what happened to you. Your story really touched me. I think it's precisely why the parents of these super-bright kids (on these bulletin boards) are somewhat obsessive in trying to figure out what will work for them...I come in contact with so many parents who purse their lips when I tell them I've skipped my kids, and who boast that they've held theirs back to "savor" their childhoods. The headmaster of one school vehemently lectured me about "why can't we let them be kids as long as we can". He told me that while his son had the ability to do math several grade levels above his own grade, but he wouldn't let him ("Absolutely not!"). Consequently, I changed schools for my youngest. Some parents hold their kids back so they can be more mature, or physically bigger to help them excel in sports. I try not to judge these decisions because I don't want them to judge my decision to let my kids go as far as they can.
    I am scared about making these important decisions affecting the lives of four little boys, and I hope I'm doing what's best. We all know it'll come back to blaming Mom for whatever troubles they experience. But your story leads me to believe that it's better than doing nothing or thwarting advancement.

    Personally, I blamed my parents for a lot of emotional distress I suffered as a child, teenager, and even into my 20's. My advice to you, however, is to try hard to move on--beyond blame, which I think held me back. Good luck!

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    CYM: Thanks for your reply. The purpose for telling my story was just an insight in the mind of an adult that was discovered at a young age and forcefully held back. Try to look at it as a metaphoric story. What would Michael Jordan's outlook on life be if he was forcefully not allowed to accel in basketball? Tiger Woods at Golf? Bill Gates in technology? Amelia Aerhart at flying? Giftedness comes in many forms, not just intelligence. The story would be like capturing an eagle and putting it in a cage. That eagle will never forget the events that led to its capture. It's not really about placing blame, it's the fact that all I ever wanted was to learn, and share what I learned. Because of my childhood, I'm now 14 years behind in my education,.....I'm 26 years old now. In my mind, it is comparitive to a 14 year prison sentence. Because my parents and the other parents being uneducated in the gifted, they all thought that what they were doing was right. Because that's what they knew. I'm not trying to be negative, just trying to provide an insight into a subject that most people refuse to acknowledge or talk about. Oh,...I'm way "too" analyitical to believe in 'luck'. LOL wink
    However, you seemed to understand the point of the story. And your decision is correct. If it comes to a financial reason, sit down and tell them why. You'de be supprised at the level of understanding in a six-year-old. They know that money gets candy and can relate wants and needs to money. So if you explain the absense of money they will understand. I have spent the last 4 years studying the mentality of the gifted. I can provide information, but not guidance because I'm not licensed yet.

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    CYM and ALL: The gifted child has an intense drive that needs to be released in some way. Find out what the child really enjoys and encourage it. Show them that you are a supporter. If at any time the child is unable to find a release, conflicts could start to arrise, even to extremes. An example; "Water puts out fire,.....a knapkin can catch fire,.......so if I soak the knapkin in water it shouldn't catch fire". The child turns on the stove, soaks a knapkin in water and tries to prove it to him/her-self. Ten minutes later, the fire in the house is put out. ADULT perception of the CHILDS' actions; "Why did you try to burn down the house!? What were you thinking!? Are you trying to put us on the street!? Do you hate me or something!?" Needless to say, the child will find a way to release their intense drive through complex thought. Boredom is a childs worst enemy and can lead to adverse consequences. So the question is, should the child find a release doing long division in the first grade, or the ladder?

    Joined: Jul 2006
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    This is a great thread, thanks for the input Jeremy!

    To Josie:

    Lyle, my 6 yo son (also in first grade), was tested by his teacher in Kindergarten last year as having way above Grade 6 reading comprehension, and throughout most of Kinder was working with the school's GATE teacher and Literacy Specialist. The GATE teacher referred him to the County's Highly Gifted Program for pre-screening, and the result of that was they would go ahead with the full screening when he entered 1st grade.

    Last week, I got a follow up call from the county's Highly Gifted program, and said to just keep an eye out for their consent form sometime December for the full testing. The lady I spoke with said because Lyle was so young at the time of the prescreen, they wanted to wait till at least 6 months from his birthday (he's a July baby) per the psychologist's recommendation. Lyle scored only a 93% on the Toni-3, and she said if he scored 99+, they would've gone ahead with the full testing for the highly gifted program. It seems usually the kids they worked with got some coaching on answers, but in Lyle's case, as he went through the prescreening, he lost a few points here and there which they knew he would've gotten if he had more exposure to those things, so they wanted to wait till he entered 1st grade.

    I felt kind of bad at this point because I really never had any formal teaching with Lyle, he just sort of picked things up and was reading my magazines by the time he was 36 months old.

    Now at 1st grade, I'd like to think he's on the right track. I already got confirmation from the county they will test him for the Highly Gifted program sometime Dec-Jan. His 1st grade teacher is very receptive about his needs. She tells me he gets in trouble in class mostly from his shouting out loud, "I already know that!", he's a very talkative boy, likes to express his opinions and thoughts (albeit at the wrong moments, like when the teacher is trying to actually try and teach the other kids in his class).

    Lyle's teacher arranged for him to go to a 2nd grade class for reading, and this week they have Charlotte's Web. She said they'll move him up gradually, which I think is a good plan so as not to "shock" him. She's also working with the school's GATE teacher to try and get him in the program even though they generally don't start till 3rd grade.

    I've enrolled him in chess club after school on Fridays (an 8 week program), and the interaction with other kids outside his class with a common interest is great. He wants to learn to play a guitar, so I bought him one on eBay. I'm searching for affordable music lessons for him, but if it's really out of my budget for formal music lessons, I might just download e-books or lesson cds and go off that. I take him out to the park and set him up with playdates -- he loves the time with other kids since it's just him and me at home (I'm a divorced mom).

    Definitely have good communication with your child's teacher because she is the primary person outside the home that your child looks up to for guidance. Keep in touch with the school's GATE teacher, literacy specialist, principal, whoever can help you get what your son needs. Be proactive in behalf of what you want for your gifted child.

    Good luck! smile

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    Sugar -
    Wow! Look at the difference 3 months time makes! I went back and read your into posts and I'm so happy for you and I think the school will respond to your child! Besides, you're doing a wonderful job at home so you'll track him as well. I'm very glad to hear about the modifications the school has made for you.
    Love and More Love
    Trinity


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    hello all i am new to this site and a little bit of back ground is my husband and i have a 10th grade education and we have 2 gifted childern. our daughter is in 4th grade and our son is in 2nd. How do you find out how gifted they really are I know there iq scores but what is rufs? and what is level 2? Jeremy how can I tell if I am holding them back? Anything I throw at my kids they will do. It is hard to keep up so the past 2 years I have been letting the school do their thing my kids are in the gifted program and they also participate in the county math compition as well as eaasy contest. I want to do more at home but I feel I can no longer keep up with the 9 year old she has always been interested in surgey. She did want to become a scientist now she wants to become a surgon and work in the ER. so I do let her watch all the shows on it but again how much is too much she is 9.

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