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    #44660 04/15/09 12:08 PM
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    skyward Offline OP
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    My first real attempts at advocacy. I called DD4s school to see if I could check out the K program. DD4 would be in pre-K this fall at this school. The GT coordinator answered the phone and wanted to meet with me. I went in and she showed me the class and we talked about DD. I told her I was concerned about K after visiting some K classes. She said they have several kids like mine who go to enrichment classes so she would not be alone. I liked that part. I talked to her about getting more challenge in reading and she showed me the books she had for K which DD is way beyond.

    A few things she said made me nervous. She said it was a good idea to hold her back, have her start K at almost 6, for maturity reasons and that the school had accelerated a child once and it did not go well. She said several times that I should let her be a kid and that children learn best through play and that play is very important. I agree play is important, but it seemed like she said it in a way that was invalidating my concerns.

    When I told her about concerns we had about DD acting upset after preschool and complaining about peers not understanding her she gave me the impression she did not believe me because the teacher had not reported concerns. I left feeling a little apprehensive.

    The next day DD took two books to school that she wanted to read to her teacher. We thought it would be a good idea if the teacher had a better idea of where she is at so they can figure out where to place her.

    The next day DD came home very upset saying the teacher did not want her to read at school and that she was being mean to her all day. This is a teacher that DD has previously liked. She goes to this program for the teacher and has not seemed to connect with her peers as much. We have had her keep going because it is only a couple of hours three times a week and she asks to go. We do like her teacher and the principal and have had for the most part good experiences in the past.

    I am really at a loss. My DD is also upset. We also are looking into a language immersion program and early entrance at a public school for the fall. The public school wants info from her preschool to decide if she is ready for early entrance. Her preschool seems not in favor of acceleration. I am concerned about how they will handle things with this other school if we decide to do language immersion instead of their program.

    We just want to find a good fit for school and to spare DD the harassment we went through as children. I want to find a place were she can be herself and be appreciated for it. I am starting to worry this place might not exist. Any advice? I'm not sure how to handle this or what to do from here. I am afraid I made a mess of things. Help!


    skyward #44690 04/15/09 01:56 PM
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    Originally Posted by skyward
    A few things she said made me nervous. She said it was a good idea to hold her back, have her start K at almost 6, for maturity reasons and that the school had accelerated a child once and it did not go well. She said several times that I should let her be a kid and that children learn best through play and that play is very important. I agree play is important, but it seemed like she said it in a way that was invalidating my concerns.
    these are Big Red Flags. trust your gut

    Originally Posted by skyward
    I am really at a loss. My DD is also upset. We also are looking into a language immersion program and early entrance at a public school for the fall. The public school wants info from her preschool to decide if she is ready for early entrance. Her preschool seems not in favor of acceleration.
    If you can't get support from the preschool on acceleration, try the iowa manual

    Originally Posted by skyward
    We just want to find a good fit for school and to spare DD the harassment we went through as children. I want to find a place were she can be herself and be appreciated for it. I am starting to worry this place might not exist. Any advice? I'm not sure how to handle this or what to do from here. I am afraid I made a mess of things. Help!
    It might feel messy now but better to uncover this early when you have more time to research alternatives...

    EastnWest #44693 04/15/09 02:07 PM
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    oh dear....hate those stories about the one time a skip was tried and how messy it was...the good news is that you are starting early. Try for the early enterance and see how it goes. There wont be one perfect answer...but by stayinf flexable and trying a variety of things you will get it close enoght. BTW it isnt your fault if the emporer has no clothes. lv grinity


    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
    Grinity #44695 04/15/09 02:32 PM
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    Skyward,

    I feel your pain and reading your posts makes me so nervous because that will be us in a year or two. If you are anything like me you keep your DD ability close to the chest when around people and finally you feel some courage to approach the authorities to advocate for your child and what you get is spoon fed the generic stereotypical red flags we have all heard about. It is so frustrating! I really wonder if their eyes just glaze over and the ear canals close up when they hear people going down that path of my child is advanced? We are victims of being lumped in under Oh you are one of those parents. This is my worse fear when I finally do have the courage to talk to the school.

    Here is my question and it ties into your experience...

    You know we are looking at immersion programs too. So my question is if we put our DD in this program and they do as they say ... evaluate her abilities and put her in the level she should be then at age 3 she would be in the kindergarten class or the 4 yr olds at the minimal. So by the time she is 4 she would be in the kindergarten class... If we want to move her to Public school would the school district accept that she is accelerated in a private school program and place her at the level equal to that or would we be forced by age to start kindergarten? (We live in Texas and I haven't found the answer to this question out on the internet.)

    This is a huge concern for me because I don't want to go into this program knowing that she will really be held back even further by public school if we choose to go that direction OR we make the leap to the private sector this early we will need to stay the course.

    I really hope that makes sense and if you feel I am forcing this thread into the wrong direction please let me know and I will post this as a new thread.

    Grinity #44701 04/15/09 03:39 PM
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    Trust your gut, look for alternatives (even if you choose not to use them, it's nice to know that you can!), and hang in there.

    Thinking good thoughts for you!


    Kriston
    skyward #44705 04/15/09 03:49 PM
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    Is this for her to start in the fall or in 2010? When does she turn 5?

    Jamie B #45559 04/25/09 09:58 PM
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    skyward Offline OP
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    So I have had a little time to let things sink in from our meeting with the school coordinator. I also did a little research. Apparently in our area most children are closer to 6 when they start K. So DD would be much younger than we were thinking if we sent her early. This may be what the coordinator was trying to tell me. It also sounds like the assessments that come later on are sometimes based on grade, so she could be possibly two years younger than some kids in the same class.

    We had a meeting with DDs teacher. Wow! She said that they know she is gifted and that they have a plan for her. She seemed to have a good idea of where DD is at and even had some insights that I was not aware of. She basically said they can subject accelerate and it sounds like they are willing to be creative.

    I did give her teacher the early entrance papers so we will see what happens. We told her about our plans and she said that the school would support us and help us at the new school if we do decide to move. So the message I got was that everyone is aware that some accommodation's will be needed. I am interested to see what the early entrance testing shows us. At this point I feel like the school can be a good partner in helping us figure all of this out. But I remember what it is like to be the kid in the middle of it so I will always keep our options open. I have another meeting to check out a Montessori school next week. For now I feel very thankful that we have the schools support and some other good options we are aware of now.

    skyward #45602 04/26/09 01:59 PM
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    Pleased to hear that things are looking up and that you also have some other good options!

    skyward #45610 04/26/09 06:05 PM
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    Val Offline
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    The "let kids be kids" argument really annoys me. It's more about the narrow world-view of the speaker than anything else.
    Like your kid can't spend some time reading instead of watching TV? My kids spent three hours running around a carnival today. This did not get in the way of reading a book or vice versa.

    The people who need to hear the "let them be kids" message are the ones who push their kids in sports and other competitive things, not parents of little kids who like to read.

    Okay, RANT OFF.

    Here's my suggested answer to this statement if it comes up again. Try to affect a really confused doe-eyed look. Then say, very innocently, "But she loves to read (or learn, or whatever). Wanting to learn just seems to be a part of who she is. <Insert example, such as "Sometimes in the morning, she wakes up, picks up a book, and reads to herself.> Are you saying I shouldn't let her be herself?"

    Then stay quiet and let the person answer. What you hear will tell you more about them than anything, and may help you figure out what to do.

    Cheers,

    Val


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    Originally Posted by Katelyn'sM om
    If we want to move her to Public school would the school district accept that she is accelerated in a private school program and place her at the level equal to that or would we be forced by age to start kindergarten? (We live in Texas and I haven't found the answer to this question out on the internet.)

    Run a survey: call the district offices (and the local school, too). Tell them "my daughter is in a private kindergarten and is 4 years old. She's doing very well. Will you just promote her to grade 1 if we move to the public schools next year?"

    See what they say. If they say "We'll test her and see," this means they have options and they might be able to force her to repeat kindergarten. Get as much information as you can.

    Then wait a few days. Ideally, get your husband or someone else to call (different voice). This person must ask "My son is in first grade in a private school but is only 5 years old. He's doing very well. We're thinking of moving to the public schools. Would you just advance him to 2nd grade?"

    See what they say. From what I've read/heard, schools are more constrained once a child finishes grade one. I think it has something to do with kindergarten not being "real" school yet but 1st grade being "real" school.

    Just an idea.

    Val

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