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    #44576 - 04/14/09 06:02 PM Re: Can you do anything for non-compliance in school? [Re: Kriston]
    elh0706 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 03/08/07
    Posts: 353
    Loc: PA
    Kriston,
    LOL, hanging in there with my fingernails right now. Tweens are starting and ADHD combined type looks more and more likely as we see more issues with executive function. I've been reading the ADHD thread with great interest since meds are out due to another medical condition.

    smile

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    #44577 - 04/14/09 06:07 PM Re: Can you do anything for non-compliance in school? [Re: elh0706]
    Kriston Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/19/07
    Posts: 6145
    Loc: Midwest
    That sounds challenging for you. Is his getting older helping or making it worse?
    _________________________
    Kriston
    Mom to DS13 and DS10

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    #44580 - 04/14/09 06:57 PM Re: Can you do anything for non-compliance in school? [Re: Kriston]
    Suzanne Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 04/09/09
    Posts: 46
    Originally Posted By: Kriston
    Let me make a blanket statement:

    No one here is a bad parent.

    If you are here, you are going above and beyond. You care. You love. You're trying.

    No one here is a bad parent. Period.

    Hang in there, elh and Mom0405. We're pulling for you!


    I agree. No one here is a bad parent. We all care about our children and want what is best for them. I am really sorry my views were so upsetting to you. I was NOT insulting your parenting in any way. I have no idea why you feel so attacked! I have apologized both here and via a PM and you still sound so angry and offended. It does not sound like you have forgiven me, even though you say you did.

    I am starting to feel attacked for just trying to help.


    Edited by Suzanne (04/14/09 07:06 PM)

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    #44610 - 04/15/09 06:39 AM Re: Can you do anything for non-compliance in school? [Re: Mom0405]
    BethG Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/01/09
    Posts: 61
    Loc: NoVA
    OP, I feel your pain. My DD7 is in trouble every.single.day at school. We've been dealing with this since she was in 4 year old preschool (she is now in second grade.) Talking out of turn, emotional outbursts, in people's personal space, etc. It got to the point where we had her evaluated by a psychologist because we were concerned about possible ADHD and/or anxiety.

    All we got is that she is gifted and is also struggling with neurological immaturity. Essentially she will grow out of it and being better challenged will help. It's hard watching her struggle and feeling like a "bad parent".
    _________________________
    Mom to DD9 and DD3

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    #44611 - 04/15/09 06:43 AM Re: Can you do anything for non-compliance in school? [Re: Suzanne]
    Mom0405 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 03/24/09
    Posts: 237
    I am sorry. I just needed help, support and advice. You are not under attack. I appreciate everyone's views, or I wouldn't have even looked into your suggestion of the website. I am open for anything. I think that I just have to have a wait and see attitude in the fall if he even gets in to this new school. We are going to try a tae kwondo class to see if he will listen there this week or next week. I also am looking into some summer prgrams as well. I really appreciate everyones help. Hug from me to you, sincerely.
    _________________________
    __________________________
    Mom to DS6

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    #44616 - 04/15/09 07:10 AM Re: Can you do anything for non-compliance in school? [Re: Mom0405]
    Artana Offline
    Member

    Registered: 11/10/08
    Posts: 227
    Mom0405,
    First, I completely understand what you are going through. My younger son has a lot of these traits. One thing that we are working with is vision therapy. It turns out that he has trouble tracking things with his eyes. (Not convergence issues, he's 20/20 so he sees ok). He tends to get off-task because he is avoiding the amount of effort he has to do to actually track what is going on. All of his behaviors are ADHD-like, and could be a combination. I even talked to a behavior therapist, and he said that about 20% of the children who are diagnosed as ADHD that he's seen also have convergence problems, double vision, etc.

    I know that boredom causes a lot of behaviors. I fight with that all the time. I also don't believe in spanking and believe in respect. this is why I'm always touting The Explosive Child book by Dr. Greene. His plan for behaviors that are inflexible deals with the idea that learning to work through these situations is a skill. Different children may not have learned the skills needed to work their way mentally through problematic situations. The plan he discusses is respectful of the child.


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    #44618 - 04/15/09 07:21 AM Re: Can you do anything for non-compliance in school? [Re: Mom0405]
    FrustratedNJMOM Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/11/09
    Posts: 63
    Hi Mom0405
    Has anyone ever suggested applied behavior analysis (ABA)? It's commonly used for kids with autism but it applies to us all. You may want to seek out a board certified behavior analyst to conduct a functional behavior assessment (FBA). I stress this person needs to be board certified. A psychologist who is not board certified by the BACB is not qualified.
    From the FBA you should learn what motivates and maintains your son's behavior. The behavior analyst should be able to help you with a specific plan to decrease non-compliance and replace it with a more appropriate reponse.
    I had a FBA done on my son then 4 and having the same issues. The FBA really helped me understand why my son does what he does and how to handle him. Check out www.bacb.org - there's a registry of certified consultants and you may find some in your area.
    I also like the book "1,2,3 Magic". It has some useful tips.
    Goodluck. If you need more specifics on ABA - let me know.

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    #44667 - 04/15/09 12:32 PM Re: Can you do anything for non-compliance in school? [Re: FrustratedNJMOM]
    Mom0405 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 03/24/09
    Posts: 237
    Thank you Artana and FrusNJMOM. I hadn't heard of these things and do constant web searches looking for answers. DS is stubborn as all get out (like his parents), and a master manipulator; but he is mostly very playful, fun, funny and a fantastically sweet boy. So his behavior issues are not all the time. I am going to do an experiment for a week and see how much he really is manipulating us at home. Thanks.
    _________________________
    __________________________
    Mom to DS6

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    #45003 - 04/17/09 07:19 PM Re: Can you do anything for non-compliance in school? [Re: Artana]
    Mom0405 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 03/24/09
    Posts: 237
    If he can focus on/point out/find words on pages in books is it possible to have convergence issues? I am not familiar with this. He is 20/20 as well; but it's possible that something else is going on there??? I point out words on pages that I want him to try, and it's like he has to find where I am pointing.?
    _________________________
    __________________________
    Mom to DS6

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    #45010 - 04/18/09 03:22 AM Re: Can you do anything for non-compliance in school? [Re: Mom0405]
    FrustratedNJMOM Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/11/09
    Posts: 63
    Convergence issues are really out of my realm. I can offer that my son who could read would pretend he couldn't read for his teachers. He just didn't feel like doing it & was very cleverly non-compliant. He'd ask them what the word was or say he couldn't sound them out. I tricked him into reading for them by sending some favorite books to school. I don't know if this helps.
    On the FBA - many schools have ABA consultants under contract & you may be able to get the district to pay for the assessment. They pay for FBAs all the time in my area. Good luck!

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