Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Strange behavior?

DD13 has been like this since maybe 3rd grade. (or it could have been before that). She is afraid to talk to me about stuff, especially illness. For instance, if she ever seems warm when I brush against her arm, I might just say something like "are you feeling alright" and she will give a giant response of "yes yes yes I am completely fine" even if she is not. She has not missed a day of school for a long time,(for 6 or so years) because she is afraid to tell me about when she is feeling bad. For instance, she has been quite ill before (possibly the flu) with full symptoms (that she very badly hid). But she never tells and once I dragged her to the doctor (she was extremely resistant, started crying, and was a nervous wreck) to find out that she had a very high fever, among other things. Why would she want to hide this? I don't know if this is just something strange or if it might be some kind of mental disorder. Well, long post, sorry.

That is *not* what I would call a long post!!

I wonder if it might be a simple phobia, of doctors, illness, etc., rather than a full blown 'disorder'. Did she have any very bad experience or even maybe hear about a relative with a terrible health experience in 2nd or 3rd grade? Sounds like she might just be scared. You've probably discussed it, will she just not talk at all about it?
The perfect attendance might be perfectionism in action too...

Well, their was one time at camp when she got horrible impetigo. She also developed a sore throat, so (she was reluctant to tell the camp people) so when we got to a lodge after camp, we were going to go swimming. I could easily see the impetigo at that point. We took her to the doctor, and he said she was pretty sick, which she denied by all means necessary. Perhaps that little mishap was a part of the fear now. She has told me that she is not afraid of the doctor itself, she is just afraid of "being sick." She said "I can live my life normal if I know I'm sick and nobody else does, but when people know, it ruins everything." I have no idea why she would want to be like that, because when she is sick at school, I know she would much prefer being in a warm bed with the tv in the room and eating chicken noodle soup (or nothing if its not a strep throat/flu type thing).

I think she thinks it is embarrassing also.

Well, I have lots of posts out their so I'll post another question on here. Anyone have any of those headstrong kids? DD13 (and others, but mainly her) ALWAYS has to be right it seems like. She has to get her point across always and almost never says sorry. But shes really a great kid otherwise. Always kind, gets recognition at school for this, etc. But she always has to argue and get an attitude and all when getting blamed for something. She always shows her side and starts putting the blame on us. Probably the teen years. ;( just venting here, if you understand what I'm saying I'd really like advice,

My DS16 is the same way. He once answered an essay question with one sentence and expected everyone to understand what he meant.

When he started middle school, I remember telling everyone he thinks he knows everything and when he makes a mistake... it was my fault because I didn't tell him.

I blame it on hormones and their need to be autonomous.

Maybe it's a control issue? If I get sick, I'm not really in control of everything in my life.

Well, I don't have any advice, but my DS8 is the same way. I'm hoping that he'll grow out of it. Yesterday, we were having a conversation about being right and he said he likes to be right. I asked him how it made him feel and he said "great". We explained that he wouldn't always be right and that it was OK to be wrong sometimes, that's how we learned, and so on. So, he told us that in his class there was a discussion about something and he was right and just knew it even though everyone else was disagreeing. He said that eventually, after telling everyone why he believed the way he did about whatever it was, they went back and checked it out and determined he was right, even the teacher. <sigh> I hate it when that happens, because it only strengthens his argument. We did ask how he felt when he was wrong and I swear, just for a moment, I knew he was going to pop off with "I don't know, I've never been wrong". He didn't, thank goodness, but I was waiting for it, LOL.

Yeah its mainly with me and my husband, I don't think shes really like this with other kids, as she does not want to come off as a know it all.