Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Wow! Turn-around story!

This is a little bit of a brag thread. But a good news, bad school situation/good school situation, resisting-learning-turnaround story!

Most of you know my ds6's backstory, but for newcomers ...

Ds6 started public K last year reading well, doing second-grade math or so. No accommodations were being made. When ds started getting in trouble for talking, not paying attention and defiance at school, we had ds-then-5 tested, with 99.9s across the board. School refused to recognize a need for acceleration beyond very basic differentiation, and tried to stave us off with promises of a better first grade year and more appropriate leveling at that point.

Ds-then-5's attitude worsened; by February he was hauling off and smacking other kids, he's stopped reading chapter books and reverted to Spot Lift-the-Flap books almost exclusively. School *still* refused to do anything. We started looking at private gifted schools and were blessed to get a spot at a local one that does inter-grade grouping for math and language arts. Ds6 started in first grade, with subject acceleration to third grade.

So! The good part!

Last year, ds was resisting learning anything new, or doing anything that required much effort at all. If he couldn't do it on the first shot, it wasn't worth doing, period. Fast-forward to today ... when I realized he'd had a real turnaround.

We've been working on spelling lately. Ds had been getting 8 of 10 regularly, and we bribed him into studying harder because the words weren't *hard* for him, they just required a few times of review. So right at his learning point. After several 10s of 10, he seems more convinced.

He got a math test back yesterday that got a 28/40 -- they're doing long division and multi-digit multiplication. On reviewing the test with him, as I promised to teach him long division, I saw that a full 8 of the questions were wrong in only one digit -- on two others he'd had the right answer and erased it! We've been working on long division at home with graph paper, and I'm really proud of him. He's sticking with it even though he wasn't getting the right answer all the time. (BTW, the graph paper helped enormously -- I highly recommend it).

Another instance: Ds6 hates writing, and according to his LA teacher, isn't progessing as she'd hoped. I've been pointing out little writing tips to him as he works, and we've been doing little writing exercises, and he's really working at it! He thinks before he writes a letter; I can *see* the wheels turning in his brain as he remembers the "right" way to do it. And once again, he's sticking with it! Ahh ... I love it.

So -- a success story of appropriate placement! The difference that challenge at school has made for him has been amazing. He was totally done with school, wasn't interested in learning or trying in kindergarten, and it showed at home. The little guy I was seeing today is a very different kid -- he was *excited* to work on his long division today! Yay!



Also, a quick question -- do you think it's ok to ask his math teacher if he can use graph paper to do his scratch work? It helps him enormously to have those guidelines while doing stuff like long division and multiplication -- his writing is just not up to keeping all those numbers in line. Thoughts?

Good for you! It's always exciting to hear "happy endings".
As for the graph paper, I think it is absolutely ok to ask the math teacher. (As a math teacher, I can tell you I would not have thought of that as a helpful tactic, and it will probably help more than just your son as well.)

Go Mia!
That's a great story - so glad you posted it.
I think that asking if he would be allowed to use graph paper is totally reasonable - I'm reccomending that you provide it.

The other trick is to use normal notebook paper and turn it sideways so that everything lines up.

I know some kids can work at their intellectual level without a drop of accomidaitions, but I don't believe that thats nescessary, particularly if the child just 'isn't there yet' physically. Nice if one can pull it off, but definitly not a requirement. Ask yourself, if your child was MR, but could learn long division with graph paper, and not without - would you ask that child to be allowed to use it?

Love and more love,
Grinity

That is great, Mia! Thanks for posting!

I'd ask the teacher to let him use the paper, why not?

You did a great job getting him to an appropriate learning situation and I know it wasn't easy.

You rock!

Neato

Hey Mia - graph paper sounds completely OK to me. Well done on your turn-around story. What great progress! Have you tried the murderous maths series? We're reading one at the moment called Arithmetrics. It's got some really, super cool maths tricks presented in stories, cartoons, jokes, etc. that have really helped Miss 7. For multiplication, she loved the one where - if she gets stuck on 4 x 7 for example, you draw 4 lines horizontally and then 7 lines vertically and you add up all the spots where the lines intersect/cross. And this gives you the answer. The teacher let her show this to the class during maths yesterday and she was so excited!!!

jojo

Definiately ask for the graph paper......I am surprised it is not in standard use over there for math. Grade 3 to 7 here in Australia, only graph books are used for math!

Steph

Mia,

Congratulations!

As a parent, I think it would be a great feeling ... to see your child being challenged just the right amount. And see them thriving (not just surviving) at school.

In fact, I think it's probably one of the deepest wishes of many parents on this board

Sending you good vibes for continued growth and happiness.

Irish Eyes

Oh, yay! Big yay!

I agree with Kriston... Big Yay!!! It's always nice when something goes right!! Gives everyone else hope!!

Yay. You made my heart happy. Glad the new school worked out. Sounds like he was having similar but worse scenario to DS6 in K!

Interesting Mia, I never thought to use graph paper but that is a good idea. My DS6 too when doing double digit mult (we haven't done long div yet) has a hard time keeping the numbers in line too! I am going to try the graph paper myself at home.
Math is a waste this year for my DS at school so I have to do the math myself at home. Wish I had more time, story of everybody's life right!
Great idea graph paper. If it works for our DS's then why not ask the teacher to use it w/them! Why not.

Thank you, all, thank you! I'm so proud of him, and so happy that he's gotten the opportunity to grow this year. If he'd stayed at his public school, he'd be doing a bunch of double digit addition, no doubt, which he's been doing in his head for three years! Poor kid, I'd've smacked someone too.

Jojo -- we do have one of the Murderous Maths books -- "The Phantom X". Ds thought it was a riot, but I think it's just a bit above him still! I like the multiplication trick, I've never heard that one; ds is to the point where he needs to know his facts automatically, but that's a great one. I'll remember it -- thanks! I'll look into that book too, sounds right up his alley.



I don't know about that! I still feel like the lazy parent for not sticking with the advocacy. Who knows -- maybe in first grade the attitude of the teachers and principals would have suddenly blossomed into deep understanding of the needs of PG kids. (Hee hee!) I feel like I took the easy way out by moving him to private! And now we have to wait for financial aid decisions, which is a giant nail-biter ... there's no way he's staying there without a hefty helping of financial aid, which is nerve-wracking.

Tracey -- I think I heard the graph paper tip on this board! I thought it was brilliant. I just googled "graph paper print out" and I got a whole bunch of options -- I think I went with the 1/2 inch size to give him room to write. And Grinity -- *great* idea with the notebook paper! I may have him graduate to that once he's got some concept of sizing.

I'm happy for my kid!

Good luck on the financial aid package! I'm happy for your kid, too!!!

I hear you. I have the same self-doubt and feelings of wimping out.

But is your solution working? Yes it is! Ours is, too!

If so, then I think you and I both have to let go of the "What if." Who cares if another path *might* have worked? Given what you saw at the time, the path you were on was NOT working, and you made the best call you could given what you knew. I saw you making it, and I know that you thought it through, didn't take the decision lightly, etc. We did the same thing.

Actually, I suspect that our torturing ourselves with what might have been is another form of mourning for what was never to be--the public education we had envisioned for our kids, but never got for them.

So this is a long way of saying that "you done good," and that I think you shouldn't second-guess yourself.

I'm happy for your kid too!!

hooray for you and your son Mia!!!! My son likes the graph paper too. That was all we used in Europe.

Kriston, I knew I liked you for a reason.

And here I thought it was because of my sparkling wit and charming personality! No?

:p

I too have that self-doubt...maybe I should have fought harder...maybe 3rd grade really is more challenging...you make the best decision you can w/ the information you have at the moment....that's all we can do.

Dazey (and most days, still Confuzed)

It's great to hear good news, Mia! Well done! I'm happy for your family.

peace
minnie

Whoo!!

Graph paper should be fine for him!!

Mia,

I am more of the new comers and wasn't aware of your story but reading your post puts a big smile on my face. I am so happy for you and your family. It really does sound like you did the right thing for your son. And second guessing comes with the territory. Everyone second guesses, but given the progression you are seeing with your DS I don't think you need to focus too much on the what if games.

Also... I agree with everyone on the graph paper. If a child's writing is below par isn't it logical that they would be allowed to use the special pencils to help them control their writing? Graph paper is doing that for your son. It is simply a tool to help him feel comfortable and guide him to getting to the level he needs to be at. I think the teacher's response will be more in lines of why didn't I think of that?

A big smile here too! I borrowed your graph paper trick to help DD6 with her multiplication. Worked like a charm, thank you very much.

Yay! How terrific!