Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Defiant, resistant, and anxious

They are writing, doing math worksheets, doing art projects.

He appears to be totally freaked out by all of it.

He is good at reading, talking, thinking.

I do think it's a mis-match, eroding his spirit, and making his stubborn streak worse.

Unschooling makes the most sense, but I am concerned that he will just get the message that he has won-- and no longer has to do anything. Also, as I've posted before, I tend to yell at him.

I would think that once his spirit is healed, the others will come into place. Does he have issues w/ the physical aspects of writing?

I think if he's learning things that he wants to learn, getting the message that someone loves him and has listened to him, and is willing to give him a chance, is gold. Don't think of it as he is winning, think of it as getting what he needs. After he's had some time to find himself, learning about things he wants to learn, you can see where he is and he may be more in a frame of mind to buy into what you are selling.

Absolutely, Dazey!!

Okay B-mom, It seems like you are concerned that you two are butting heads and a teaching set-up between you won't work, so here's what I'd suggest.

If you decide to homeschool, sit him down and tell him what you are doing and why. I do think a period of *unschooling* is necessary and since you have the WIAT report, would you really be concerned if he sat around and didn't progress academically for even a ridiculous amount of time like a year?

Realistically, I could let my kids sit around and watch t.v. only, for a year, plug them back in school at the end and they'd be no worse for wear. That's a huge advantage to having the data that you have.

I get the control issue you are sensing, so when you draw up your student-teacher agreement, you say something like: Okay, from 9a.m.-11:30a.m. we'll *do* school. I'll provide you with a variety of educational books, videos, computer learning sessions, etc, but you can choose to do what you want with that stuff during that time frame. After you've completed your school work we can go play, park, zoo, play, etc. No t.v., video games, whatever time-sucking device of your choice-insert here, until such and such time.

Then, stick to the schedule- do not deviate.

Try seeing if that removes some of the control issues/struggles that you are seeing. You might just see him stop struggling for so much control as a natural result of him being in a more appropriate learning environmnet.

I defininately agree with what Dazey is saying about different learning enviroments. I'll add that both girls have very similar IQ's AND processing speed scores. I really do think the personality of little sis is the key to figuring out how to adjust her learning needs......

HTH

I agree with 'Neato. If you set the boundaries and you're doing it because you think it's what he needs (not merely the path of least resistance), then you're in charge.

You're not giving in as long as you're...not giving in. I know that sounds odd, but I think it's accurate. If you're choosing the path because it's the best one for your child, then it doesn't have to be about power at all, and you're not giving in. You're making a choice.

Just be sure to set the rules and stick to them.

FWIW, I do work very closely with my DS7 when deciding what to learn and how to approach the material. I think that when I respect what he's saying about his preferences, then he responds to me with more respect.

Granted, we have two different kids, but it is something to consider, I think.

Keep talking if it helps!

I'm intrigued by the comment you made about his interest in ships. There are so many different areas of learning that you can bring up while on the subject of ships.

Literature - many stories are written about sea life
History - naval and civil history
Economics - the use of ships for trade
Social Studies - The cultural impact of travel and trade by sea
Astronomy - Celestial navigation
Science - structure of ships, surface tension, displacement, Weather, oceanography, engineering, physics
Math - Calculating distances traveled, chartng courses, figuring out speeds, cargo value, supplies needed to make the journey etc.

And I'm sure much much more

I believe I remember that Kriston when she started Home Schooling fitted a variety of subjects around the subject transformers?

I think my point is not to worry if the initial focus seems narrow. There are alot of ways to work out a curriculm even if the topic seems very narrow. If you have a topic, post it here and I'm sure you'll get lots of ideas from us! Probably more than you want or need.

Yup. We did all sorts of things about robots and automotive engineering ala Transformers to get him fired up about learning. He branched out naturally from there just because things came up. One thing leads to another and all that...

Good point, elh!

My DS6 now wants me to teach hime Physics as the result of going to the circus! You never know where things will pop up.

To go along w/ what elh wrote, my friend's DS loves to do lapbooks. I took a quick look to see if there were any on ships and didn't see anything off hand but will look some more. Her son HATES to write, but doesn't mind writing for a lapbook.

What an awesome list elh0706

AND, bmom, you are in a great area for unschooling on ships...

http://www.noblemaritime.org/
http://www.southstreetseaportmuseum.org/
these links and more at: http://www.maritimemuseums.net/NY.html
etc.

Yes, I'd be tempted to just do nothing but the history and development of naval technologies, from the beginning of time on down to today. History, science, literature with that period's ships in it, etc.

That sounds REALLY fun, actually!