A nice article for those of us with gifted and non-gifted children

http://www.dukegiftedletter.com/articles/vol4no2_cc.html

Thanks Tracey. There are several other good articles down the right side of the page.

How common is this? In psychometrics classes and in speaking w/ people like Linda Silverman's employees, I've been led to believe that full siblings are usually all gifted if one is (or pretty close). I.e. -- IQ is pretty similar btwn siblings although not identical. Not being identified doesn't mean that the non-identified sibling isn't actually gifted, does it?

My first thought on reading the article was 'Just because the 10 year old brother is struggling in school, doesn't mean he isn't gifted!'

But it is good to hear that someone has looked at this and taken the time to 'debunk' the myth. Every child deserves to be 'thought about well' and this article lists some nice examples.

Thanks for posting the link, Tracey!

hmm, has anyone looked in to this from another angle? What about the Firstborn, who started "smart" but then got a younger sibling- resented the child due jelousy, and became "dumb"?

Which one is Gifted Now?

Yes, I have that. My firstborn boy was very advanced in most areas before 5. Did very well grade one, two - appeared to crash land in three. My younger daughter is HG (and 3.75 years younger) and was an early reader - he is extremely jealous and a bit resentful of her areas of strength. We had them both tested and he was also gifted. He even tested higher than her in the abstract reasoning test (similarities) and his GAI is as high as her IQ. He is NOT performing at school!

I liked the article, very encouraging. Mother of three aged 8,6, and 4, the older two boys have been assessed as gifted, but I just feel my daughter isn't so 'academic', and probably won't be put in GT programs. This is fine with me, she has many other wonderful qualities, but I do worry, with both her brothers being 'picked' out this way, she may have a hard time.

I found the article encouraging because my adopted children are not bio related. I feel the brothers knock off each others rough edges and make each other better people. They are opposites, so they expose each other to interests that each would not have taken up on their own. It makes for a good family life.
-cc

I think that in families where the children are full siblings, if one child is gifted and another seems not-so-gifted then additional testing needs to be done with the "nongifed" one to determine if there is a learning problem. I have two boys, one who is 2E/HG+ and the other who is just HG+. When my older boy was in 1st grade you would have thought he was not just not gifted, but, frankly, he seemed developmentally disabled much of the time. Many evaluations and lots of remediation later, lo and behold, he's HG+ with dyslexia and ADHD. His academic performance prior to all of this was *average* and that was *just fine* with the school. So to anyone who has genetically related kids with seemingly widely ranging intelligence, unless there is some sort of logical explanation, please look further to be sure that your child is not struggling with some sort of "stealth" learning disability.

How is your older son going now Kai? In many ways you could have been talking about my older son - the school seems happyy that he is performing average (consisting of marks that range from the bottom through to the very top and that is only one subject!!). My two have similar intelligence - but boy do they 'display'at school differently. To other people, it almost seems that the younger 'got it all' and the older missed out.

Tizz - from what you're saying, I see huge red flags going up.

Hi Dazed and Confused - I agree, I should have mentioned that we know he is dyslexic and I have wondered about the attentional side but that is attibuted so far to the auditory weakness. We are only just starting on the long journey of accomodations, some remediation etc. It is tough for me to see him struggle and for him not to achieve the degree of success to date as his younger sister is already experiencing. I worry that 'success breeds success'and as time goes on he will become more disheartened. We have some amazing conversations - he is a great joy and learning experience for me as he sees things so differently. Luckily he has is very insightful re people and as a result well-liked and - at least so far - extremely able socially. One of the reasons the teachers were not that concerned. Go figure as usually these kids struggle socially don't they?

We pulled him out of school at the end of first grade and have been homeschooling now for six years. He's doing really well now. This past year he started on meds for the ADHD and I finally got him standardized testing accommodations through the school district (504) that he used for the first time this spring. The difference was amazing: 99th %iles down the line (except for spelling!). He will be officially starting high school (a year ahead, and two years ahead if I had let the school have their way) in our homeschool next year, though he has been doing some high school level work for the past three years.

It's working out here. It has been a long haul. I am certain that if he had stayed in school that we would be having a different experience right now.

My son is 8 and my daughter 6. My son is identified as gifted and reads at a 12th grade level while my daughter is reading at an appropriate level for a 6 year old. My son was reading Harry Potter at her age. I do not think she has his capabilities in that one area but I also notice a reluctance on her part to show her best efforts because I think she fears the comparison. However, when she brought home her art portfolio the art teacher pointed out that her level of drawing perspective etc. was at the fourth grade level. Perhaps her "talents" are not in the typical academics. I had read that full siblings would often be close in IQ so I am interested to watch this unfold.

Breakaway4 - my two are 3 years younger than your two and 2 years apart from each other, yet I notice a very similar pattern with them already. If I get DS5 tested, I will get DD3 tested when she's a bit older as well. I'm not sure what my brother's IQ is, and I'm not sure what mine is exactly. But I know I was tested several times when I was younger. I don't know if he was.

The way I understand it, the research says that on average, siblings are within 10 points of each other. That doesn't mean that all siblings will be within that distance. You can have the obvious, one just MG and another very bright.

My Dd6 attends a private gifted school. I am always curious about siblings, my dd4 will start K next fall, so I many times ask other parents. I have heard it all. Some who have a few in the school. Many where there is just one in the school, the parents feeling that that particular child needed a gifted school more than the other(s). I bet that in many of those cases, the siblings are possibly gifted but fit another profile, or personality style, or perhaps are not as academic.

However, there are many cases of siblings who have simply not tested high enough to be in the school. Some, test "in" a year or 2 later, and others not.

I am pretty sure that my brothers are gifted, as I am, but not my sister. Yes, she does have some mild LD, but I don't think that she is 2E.

In any case, there are always exceptions. My younger one will be tested in a few months, and I wonder about how different their abilities are, and how, that combined with their personalities and birth order will affect schooling decisions and general parenting and how they each will perform in life, the choices they will make, etc.

Does anyone know how sibling order may play into all this? My understanding is that giftedness is more often recognized in elder or only children. Just curious.

Does anyone know the role birth order may play in all this? My understanding is that giftedness is more often recognized in elder or only children. Considering the info here that sibling I.Qs are usually close, maybe we as parents and teachers (and I'm including myself here) should be paying closer attention to lower achieving siblings. Perhaps they are actually underachieving. Just curious.

Sometimes, "non-gifted appearing" siblings are simply that, non-gifted. And sometimes younger children are more gifted than older ones. A study is just a study and doesn't describe each unique family out there.

I've known too many parents who keep looking for that elusive "giftedness" in children that are bright, norml developing children that just happen to have a gifted sibling.

Perhaps. Its just a nagging feeling ..... guilt on my part I suppose. My two oldest have been assessed as gifted, whilst I don't think the third will be. I had all three children within 4 years, and simply know that I gave much more time and attention to the older ones in their early years, than I have the third. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not worried about her development (she is easily on par with her peers), and I believe she is equally wonderful and talented - just not in the academic field to the same extent. Surely one-on one input (which is in shorter supply with multiple children - actually almost non-existent for a third), is going to have some impact. Agreed each family is unique - in fact DS2 scored higher than DS1, but the nagging feeling continues .....

Hmm, maybe it's just my input that isn't as...ahem...impacting, but my poor neglected 3rd child is my PG contender, LOL! I too had all three of mine within (roughly) 4 years, and I don't really remember a first year milestone from number 3 to speak of.

I do at times credit DD#2, as she really took him under her little toddler wing when he was born, and taught him everything she knew.

All three of mine have tested gifted, but there is still a pretty good sized difference between my DYS kid and his siblings.

As said. Every family is unique .... or maybe your DS could have been even more brilliant if born first ...... ! We will never know, but we can all be sarcastic. Lets try not. All the data I know of, does suggest that it is single and first born children that are more often recognized as gifted - the key word being 'recognized'. This, of course, does not mean to say, that younger siblings are not as smart, but that in many case their intelligence is not as readily recognized and nurtured- even by their parents.

Oh goodness, I hope you didn't mean I was being sarcastic! Well, I mean perhaps I was, but I was aiming for light-hearted. I apologize if I didn't come across that way.

All's good.

In our case, it is one set of grandparents who keep prodding about the development of our 2nd in relation to our 1st.
"Well you didn't spend as much time reading with #2 as #1!" and so forth. Drives me up the wall.

I've tried explaining that our reading time with #1 was prompted primarily by him. We read as little or as much as he wanted. Same with #2, only she doesn't go for the marathon sessions like he did. I love reading to the kids and when he'd ask me for the same 50+ page book three times in a row... in one evening... I would generally oblige. But I can't possibly *force* this same qty on #2 -- it would only kill the joy of reading.

I spent my whole academic career three years behind an older sister who was off-the-charts, crazy-smart in every subject, and had to deal with a ton of comparing & contrasting from relatives and teachers as a result.

Perhaps I am a *little* cautious about attempts to compare or suggestions that we push her along. But right now she seems appropriately challenged and is happy as can be -- that's all I need to see. If she shows GT traits later on, we'll be there to help -- but I'd hate to saddle her (or us) with false expectations.

It was the same for us. I did nothing more or less with the child that is highly gifted than I did with the child that is not gifted. They just are who they are. Some siblings are within 10 IQ points of each other, some are not. I have no problem accepting this, but like you've experienced, others do.

we're going for assessments in the next 10 days with our two boys 7 and 9. DS9 is, from what I can see, at the very least EG and his brother ... well, they interact as peers and DS7 is extremely competitive with his brother, but I just don't get the "wow" from him.

He is a marvelous person and a number won't do anything about who that person is, I'm just curious to see how different (or not) they are.

wish us luck!

DS7 is going first so as not to be under DS9's influence so to speak.

I've personally noticed that milestone wise, DS5 reached the "did he just do that?" ones way early... whereas, DD3 didn't. But DD3, who we obviously and stupidly thought was our normal kid, is showing us each day that she is ahead of the norm and her big brother in other areas. Now this may not show us that she is gifted by test scores (and we still haven't had DS tested officially), but she is definitely more than just normal. And looking back, I'm the first born, easily labeled as gifted, and my brother (only 2 of us) was labeled as "normal"... yet as an adult, you can see that he is a lot brighter than "normal" and not just "smart", which is obviously different than bright or gifted. I think personality plays a huge role as well as the whole birth order, time alone with parents to "work on things", etc...

For those of you with perfectionists and non-perfectionists, which order are they? DS5 is the perfectionist (child #1 obviously), and DD3 is so not. I would think that parents would recognize giftedness in the perfectionist before the non-perfectionist too... thoughts?

We are in waiting mode. The twins just finished their testing today. Now the two week wait for results. It will be very interesting to see how they are in relation to each other overall since they each have their own stengths and tend to mirror each other. It will also be interesting since the tester isn't as used to GT kids. She tested my older DD and is the only tester that our insurance will cover right now. My oldest twin is more of a handful so I'll be interested to see what her scores look like.

Results are in! Tenative since I don't have the full report but the twins SB was 2 points difference. Different subtest results but similar end result. Interesting. I am very relieved since we had worried about my youngest twin because of her cerebral palsy being more severe than her sister. She also had a loss of oxygen after birth that had us all concerned.

Congrats on the good news!
One less thing U have to worry about