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One thing I've also done is convince my son that rest is as important as sleep. I read this somewhere and since he is a HUGE medical junkie that takes medical advise VERY seriously, it's helped to pursuade him to lay in his bed quietly after reading time. If he can get to that point, he will usually fall asleep pretty easily. I sometimes tell him that while he's laying there his cells are regenerating and stuff like that. He likes the thought of becoming more powerful, so that also helps get his buy in.

He still sometimes pulls the "what's that noise" game, or the I need a drink of water game, etc. I guess that's just part of being a kid.

My husband and I also treasure our alone time, so our son's sleep issues have been challenging in the past! I am happy we've finally gotten to a reasonable schedule for us. I hope you can get to the same place.

By the way, I found that classical sleepy time music actually excited my son when he was a baby. Not sure what you are using, but you might want to change his bedtime rituals bit by bit, so you can evaluate what is and is not working.

Thanks for all the advice everyone - with bedtime approaching I am ready to put it into action!

Ok, this is sort of off the wall, and we only had mixed-results ourselves. When ds8 was about 6 we got him a bed-tent. Basically it's a little pop up tent which slips over the bed mattress and encloses the child, he really liked it for adventure-appeal and coziness but I am not sure he got to sleep a lot sooner, but they are recommended for this reason (brains not shutting off for some kids).
Now, we let him read for a while, this seems to do the trick.
Good luck!

Mine are as mentioned earlier. If I let them stay up later then they will be awake even later. If I put them to bed earlier they actually go to sleep earlier. Yes it is backwards but it does work, on all of them but my true "not a morning child" she needs more sleep than all the rest no matter when she goes to bed. My 6yr olds sleep 10-11 1/2 hours. It varies between the two of them.

Be glad you don't live near a train track then. We do. It's not always noticeable when there is noise inside the house, BUT of course, it's not loud in the house when my two SHOULD be sleeping! haha.

My DD6 has a giant stack of books (like 20) in bed with her, the night light on and the radio playing softly. She needs to be asleep by 9PM and we say goodnight between 8:15 and 8:30. This routine allows her to wind down on her own time and she's usually asleep by 9PM. Sometimes it goes until 9:30. Last night she fell asleep with a Multiplication book still in her hand!

I don't think our DD could get to sleep any other way

I am the same way - I have to have some sort of stimuli in the background such as TV or I won't sleep. My mind is off wandering in a million directions.

I have a problem getting mine to bed, and he just turned 14 (really, I feel like I do not belong here anymore since most of the stuff is about preschoolers )

He has no problem getting up in the morning, no big problem anyway, but he would love to stay up late. We watch Star Trek as a family, if time allows, in the evening. If it is Saturday, he will stay to watch SNL (with our blessing).
On a school night, he will frequently say things like "I am OK, I do not need that much sleep, it is fine if I skip a few hours " etc.
He is up right now (it is 9;40 P.M. here) doing Mathcounts (state competition this Sat. )problems and when he is done we will watch Star Trek. So bedtime will be close to 11 P.M. with a wake uo call at 6:30 A.M. due to the choir practice. He handles it quite well, my 11 year old needs more sleep. I am exhausted!!!

My ds6-almost-7 is the same way -- he's in bed by 8 every night, but would stay up till 10 or 11 if he had his way!

He's in his bed at 8, we read a story together, and then we allow him to read quietly until 9:15 or 9:30. Then lights off. Sometimes he's asleep in 10 minutes, sometimes he's up another hour.

I don't have a problem with the reading -- actually, I read every night before I go to sleep. I just can't get into the sleepy mood without a good 20-30 minutes of reading! I often fall asleep while reading, and that suits me just fine. I need something to lull my brain, and reading familiar books does that for me.

We do make him turn the lights off, though, and I think 9:30 is pretty darn reasonable -- it's at least a compromise. He does still have 30 minutes of reading time and usually an hour or two nap on the weekends -- he turns into a whiny wreck around 5pm on the weekends if he doesn't nap. Odd, because he's fine on the weekdays ...

My DS6 has always fought sleep. But boy does he need it! Our bedtime routine includes a short video (30 min. or less), a snack, teethbrushing, and reading to him for about 10 minutes. Then something I started about a year ago is giving him a qigong massage. This has helped a lot.

Qigong massage is a form of Chinese Medicine and has a history of over 3000 years. I've been doing consulting work over the last year for a local MD/acupuncturist who has developed a treatment protocol for young children with autism using qigong massage. I've been using this massage on my typically-developing (in terms of no autism) DS3 and DS6. And what I've found it is it really helps my DS6 with slowing him down for sleeping.

After the massage, DS6 reads on his own until about 8:30 or 8:45 and then we have to turn out the lights, otherwise he would read probably the entire night! (We have forgotten to turn out his lights a few times and he's still reading strong at 10:30 when we go to bed!)

Qigong massage is a very different angle at addressing sleep issues, but it is intriguing to me, as I've never worked in the alternative medicine arena before... (Oh, and the studies done on this with children with autism has shown great success in addressing their sleep problems.)

I will add that none of us, kids included can fall alseep worth a hoot without white noise. I don't know if it occupies some part of the brain or what but it takes forever to fall asleep without it.