Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Stressing about parent/teacher conferences

BTW, I'm absolutely lousy at conferences myself, so please bear that in mind...

I'm not saying don't focus on academics. I think you're right, Dottie, that you've got to talk about them. But I would think that doing so solely in terms of what's going on in the classroom would get better results. Talking about the effect on the kid seems smart to me.

I just know that whenever I've politely and pleasantly shared with a teacher what DS was doing at home, I got either blank looks/blown off or active refutation along the lines of "All kids do that." But talking about the child's emotional state seems harder for a teacher to ignore.

But what do I know? DS is only 6 and we're now home schooling! Clearly I'm no expert!

Well, I think the conferences went well.

DD: Her teacher wants her to take the GATE test. I'm still unsure about 4th grade GATE teacher. I need to ask around (carefully!) Teacher was surprised that DD scored higher on math test than language arts. Teachers seem to notice that DD has amazing reading skills but since she is a girly-girl they tend to assume she isn't into math <eyeroll>. I told her that DD has been doing EPGY (teacher never heard of it). I found out that unfortunately our school only bought 120 licenses for accelerated reader and those will be going to struggling readers. sigh.

DS: His teacher says that he is very advanced academically although he is the youngest in the class. He needs to work on large motor skills and social skills. She recommends soccer for both those things. He needs to work on handwriting (which looks pretty darn good to me but ok...) Basically, she said it's great for me to do challenging stuff at home (I showed her the Singapore workbook he finished) and to continue doing that. She wants me to have him start writing sentences. I agree with that. There are a couple of other kids in the class who can read so she told me if I come in once a week I can do a reading group with them. She doesn't really have time to do separate lessons for them. She doesn't have time to do any kind of math for him. I believe her! I just don't know what to do... I told her that I am not sure where the best fit for DS will be next year. Neither first nor second grade seems to be right. She suggested that I meet with the school psychologist to figure that out.

So... I have to take some time to digest what was said and figure out my next step.

What do all of you think?

Cathy

Dottie,

I'm glad your conferences went well. I think I can work the reading group into my schedule. I'm already teaching science for her on Fridays! They should pay me, lol!

Cathy

I'm glad your DS enjoys it. I felt a bit awkward about grading Calculus and German papers when I was in high school

Cathy

Cathy, I think it's really good that the teacher supports your afterschooling, and is offering the chancee todo the reading group. Good luck with DD, that a though call.
Smiles,
Trinity

Wow Dottie, That is terrific news. Good for you. and good for them for giving a parent the kind of validation that doesn't come very often. WoW!

Trinity

This doesn't suprise me at all. During the Gifted Conference I attended as part of Splash's Parent Program, it became clear to me that our key struggle as parents of gifted, and ourselves gifted, is

LACK of TRUSTABLE REFERENCE POINTS

Our experience is so deviant from the norm, that we really lack a reasonable yardstick to judge ourselfs from, so we pick a direction, make a step and doubt, doubt, doubt. I mean really, the fact that we are all getting advice from anonymous folks over the Internet is shocking! Although Wonderful! Basically it's here, family members, Nowhere, or occasionally certian schools. That is so much less than it should be for most of us. Which is why I chant the name of my "best books" over and over - Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual, Ruf, Rimm, A Nation Decieved, Genius Denied.

Still if we face this lack, I think it's possible to acknowledge the doubts and see that it isn't a defect of you. If you were walking down a dark ally in a bear infested ally, you'd be nervous, right?

Love and More Love,
Trinity

((chuckle))
You are right, we have so much!
The books,
DITD,
Each Other,
Our Families and Friends,
Our Minds,
Our Hearts,
Our Homes,
Our Higher Power

Thanks Dottie,
Trin

As for getting advice from anonymous strangers on the Internet...thankfully there aren't many trolls haunting websites dedicated to gifted education! But if there were, I suspect we'd figure them out immediately and know to ignore them. The GT lingo is just too specific. The only people who are going to use it are people who are living it. It's pretty much self-selecting. (Plus we're not talking about anything salacious, so no one is likely to stumble upon us when they're googling p0rn and decide to yank our chains...)

And I'm so glad for all of you reference points! Just knowing I'm not alone with all of this helps me to keep the bears in the alley at bay. To find gracious people so happy to share their wisdom and experience is wonderful.