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    Joined: Mar 2007
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    elh0706 Offline OP
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    I can't tell you how much your responses have helped to get me down off that ledge before I jumped.

    Just to clarify, the 3 hours/night homework is NOT due to the school. If he sat down and just did it it would be less than an hour of homework. It is the temper tanrums, unreadable answers and corrections required that add up to so much time. They are not allowed to bring in uncorrected homework. The parents are responsible for making sure the homework is correct. On the occassional good night, DS spends less than an hour on the same assignments that the next night take 3 hours.

    I do agree that there could be a social aspect to the problem. Although most of his close friends are also in the fast learner class (in fact the school did that deliberately for him this year), he still stands out for how he thinks and reasons. he doesn't stand out necessarily for his grades (especially now :)) but I think there is pressure both to know all the answers and also to not be too different. That would be hard to balance.

    I also do think that he may be depressed, One set of grandparents who he saw almost daily moved to FL the end of Jan and took along their dogs. Also, soccer season ended and he wasn't able to participate in the Spring season due to my not knowing the sign up date.

    regarding ADHD, his teacher says that he isn't one of her behavior problems in class. I can't help think that he holds it together in class and just doesn't have anything left by the time he gets home.

    We do reward good report cards with his choice of a specific amount of money or a special treat. We define a good report card as maintaining an A or bringing up a grade at least 3 percentage points. A's can be any percentage 100-94. Anything else if it improves at least 3% points gets added to the pot. We don't take anything away for grades that drop but they also don't add to the pot. We also reward good homework nights (no temper tantrums or melt downs) neat writing, less than 5 corrections to try to make things more immediate.

    I am considering due process but really other than the typing issue (which is major) his school has done things for him that they have never tried before. I don't want to ruin an overall good working relationship. His next IEP meeting is late April.
    We have tried to get him to understand that his current actions can impact what he is doing next year but either he wants to lose the accomodations or just can't see that far ahead yet.

    So at this point I think I'm going to try breaking up the homework into smaller pieces with short breaks. We did that a couple years ago but it might be time to try it again. I'm going to try even harder to keep my cool with him. I'm going to ask his Gifted Teacher, Emotional Support teacher and Guidance councelor to see what they can find out.

    Thanks all for helping me to develop a plan. I do feel better smile

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    EL,

    Is there a time of day he does his HW best? Can you set a ritual?

    A good friend does his best HW from 4am to 7am and when we were roommates, it drove me nuts to hear him muttering over his homework. He would fix his tea, put is blanket over his shoulders, then get to work. I know another high achiever who goes to bed at 9pm then gets up at 3 am. If I have some very hard things to think about, I like to take a nap from 4pm to 8pm then work all night.




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    Even an hour of homework seems like a lot at that age, I think. Especially if it's every night. IMHO...



    Kriston
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    My friend had success with "You're only doing homework for 1hr each night. You get done what you get done." For some reason, this helped her to focus and she actually gets more done.

    My son needed frequent breaks. Although it makes it seem like homework is going on all night, he got it done that way.

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    elh0706 Offline OP
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    Update: I heard back from the school. They think that this is a problem that we shouldn't try to solve. Instead, it is a good learning experience for him to learn to be bored and to handle frustration. No comments from them on the spread between comprehension and processing speed. No comments on how to help him get his mind and hands working together. Just have him communicate his frustrations but we aren't going to look at changing anything. Oh, but I can schedule a conference if I want...

    Now that I've banged my head a few times on the desk, deleted an emotional response and am feeling slightly catatonic. I'm going to go through his Evals with a fine tooth comb, list out the places that DS is struggling in terms of the eval results and set up the darn meeting. I may be looking at threatening due process.

    On the home front, breaking the homework up into smaller doses is helping smile

    Last edited by elh0706; 03/25/09 11:09 AM.
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    i think that they are inviting you to take it to the next level


    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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    Although I am one for "playing politics" for as long as it takes, it sounds like the time has come to raise the bar. I would follow the chain of command up the ladder until you find someone that gives a crap. Enough of nice, it's not working.


    Shari
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    I would call a meeting and come prepared with SENG-style information on behaviors for gifted kids -- and 2E kids. whether or not he actually GOEs to the gifted program it is worth fighting to keep him eligible.

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    Argh!!! Yes. Time to move up the food chain.

    So sorry! frown


    Kriston
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    Your posts sounds too familiar :S....


    Try a quiet corner with headphones that block out all sound (or even plays music...classical)

    I made my teen wear these recently and he was able focus on his work better and I placed his desk in a corner where there would be no distractions. Now that he is able to describe and communicate what keeps him from completing his assignments, he says the earphones help him tremendously. Sometimes, I have to remind him it's time for bed because he had no idea how much time has passed. I wish I thought of this earlier when he was in elementary school.

    Anyway, I think the classroom just naturally has too many things to take away his concentration. He was minimally engaged in his assignments and knew what everyone else was doing as well as where the missing pencil is.

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