Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Long Introduction: Any input appreciated!

Hello! I've been lurking for awhile now, but this is my first post. My identical twin boys just turned 2, and I'm hoping you all can give me some insight. They were both later walkers & talkers (14 and 15 months respectively). To be honest, I was a little concerned about their development in those areas because they seemed so far behind many of their peers. Around the time they were 16 -17 months old, J started pointing out and naming numbers in a "Curious George" book. Around 18 months or so, both J & W became fascinated with a toy that teaches letter sounds, names, etc. It drove me nuts listening to it, because no matter what mode I put it on, they always put it back to playing letter sounds. Within a few weeks, J started pointing to alphabet blocks and saying the sound of the letter on it. I was a little shocked and tried to quiz him by writing letters down and asking him what they said, but he wasn't interested in being quizzed at all. To this day, they are both very resistant to being quizzed. By 21 months, J & W could identify all the upper case letters by letter name. Around that time, we realized that they would bring us almost any of their books if we asked for it by title. To make a long story short, at 2 years old, they both know the alphabet (upper & lower case, in order, and all of the letter sounds), numbers 1-12, rote count to 15, a bunch of shapes, and around 6 or 7 colors. They also appear to have several of their books memorized. Their speech is about on par, maybe even a little behind, with other 2-year-olds I've met.

Here's the thing: My husband and I both really, honestly, truly thought that this was completely the norm. The boys rarely do these things around others, and we just assumed that other kids were doing the same things at home. It wasn't until a friend of mine mentioned that she was teaching her 3-year-olds the alphabet by going over the letters every day that I questioned our assumptions about what most other kids are doing.

I don�t really know what I�m asking for in posting this here. In fact, I feel like a poser or something even posting on a Gifted Issues Discussion Forum. I�m confused, and I don�t feel like I can talk to anyone IRL about what the boys are doing.

Are these things really that unusual? Any advice or input you guys have would be deeply appreciated.

Thanks,
Julie

Take a look at the age-ability forums - somewhere there was a long post about what 2 y.o.'s are doing, or something like that.

And it doesn't sound like they talked "later" at all (LOL, my twin boys had zero words until around 3 y.o., and my only "normal" talker so far didn't start until 17.5 months, so perhaps my perception is a bit skewed).

Though I'm with you on one thing - I used to think most kids picked up the alphabet on their own, since my first child (dd) did that - probably somewhere around 3 y.o. But one of my boys with his speech issues had a lot of trouble learning the sounds. Still, none of them have ever seemed interested in me "teaching" them anything; poor ds who is 2y8m will have to suffer because the letters from the wooden alphabet puzzle are now scattered throughout the house. At least he knows the abc song lol.

From the perspective of a mom of late bloomers, it sounds to me like your boys are doing very well. Welcome

Thanks Snowgirl! I'll check out that thread about 2 year olds. I think my perspective on "late" talking could be skewed the other direction. One of my nieces was a very early talker -- I remember having a conversation with her at 16 months! After watching her, my parents have been asking "Why aren't the boys talking yet?" for about a year now . Thanks for the welcome!
Julie

Hi Julie,
Welcome! Please don't feel as if this is an exclusive group or anything, anyone who finds the information helpful and can relate is more than welcome. It does sound as if your boys are advanced. It is nice to find a place to talk about these things without worrying about what others think about what you are saying. This is a great place for that. Feel free to ask any questions as they come up. I have a DS4 and a DD21 months. My DS was off the charts in his early developmental milestones, but my DD is developing quite differently. DS said his first words around 7 months. DD barely said a word until she was 18 months, and then randomly counted to 10. So it's interesting that they won't be doing something and then will all of a sudden start. DD knows all her shapes and a few letters/numbers/colors here and there. She is definitely become a big talker, but is more of a singer than a talker, LOL. And she is not obsessed with letters and numbers like her brother was. It's interesting how differently children develop. You will start to notice more in the next year or so, especially if you are around other children the same age. That is when I really noticed things were different.

Thanks shellymos! It is really interesting to watch the wheels turn in their little heads, isn't it? And I'm definitely feeling more relaxed after reading the thread about 2 year olds. I could relate to a lot of what was being said. Thanks for the warm welcome!

Hi! Your boys sound very much like my DS-now-5 was at that age. For him, the next step was spelling obsession about age 2.5, followed quickly by obvious reading (i.e., I know he read at least a few words before 2, but I'm not sure when he developed more, because for a long time most of what I saw him do was explainable by memory and I felt squeamish about testing my 2yo to see how much he could read, so I didn't!) Do yours quote chunks of their memorised stories, sometimes changing the character names to suit e.g. toys they have at hand? DS used to do that for a long time, and I found it hilarious.

My singleton DS really didn't talk until a few weeks before he turned 2, but also I think I remember hearing that twins are quite often late talkers because they develop ways of communicating between themselves which are not comprehensible to other people, sometimes a full "twin language". Do yours do that?

A little information can go a long way :-) I'm actually glad I didn't think too much about norms. Honestly, I knew zero about kids. I still can't believe the hospital let me take the first one home - I've never been around babies or little kids. It ended up helping because I just always assumed the ages put on toys were low. Keep following their lead. Don't worry about age recommendations that aren't intended for safety. And I hate to sound paranoid but many of us here have learned to be cautious with our conversations with friends about our kids. In Davidson's book Genius Denied I think they write about how there needs to be a tit for tat in talking about kids accomplishments... and when the one side says my kid arranged alphabet blocks in order and the other side was previously excited to say their kids stacked three blocks... well... it can eventually get uncomfortable.

Reading some gt lists and books can be like looking at a horoscope - folks see what they want to or don't want to. But I remember the first book I bought was Your Gifted Child. I hide it because my dd was the age of your twins - and I figured people - even my husband - might think I was nuts. But I'd go back and look at lists and what nots in it now and then - instead of the Your Baby's Second Year or whatever in terms of development.

Your post reminds me of the day a letter toy from leapfrog came in the mail before dd turned 2. I thought it was cute and was a bit surprised she already knew the letters. Yes, to your question, it isn't the "norm".

Keep checking here... don't feel bad for lurking or posting... I think most of us started out that way. We just didn't all have the internet to aid us when we started on our journey. But mostly, just keep on doing whatever it is you are doing. Following their lead and not trying to "norm" them into what they "should" be doing.

Welcome.

I can't even tell you guys how relieved I feel to have found this forum!
ColinsMum - I know exactly what you mean about the maybe reading words before 2. There've been a few occasions where it seems like J might be reading an unfamiliar word softly to himself. I used to laugh at myself for imagining things, but now I've taken to saying out loud "I didn't see that. That didn't happen." Even typing this out right now, I'm shaking my head thinking "No way". I don't know. So far, they only quote along with me when I'm reading to them. If I pause, they'll often finish the sentence, especially if I stop on a rhyming word. Sometimes I get the feeling they really don't want to get it wrong, KWIM? Your son acting out stories with toys sounds adorable! We haven't really noticed that the boys have their own language, but they do appear to have some private jokes that we don't know about. DH & I joke that we should probably be glad we don't understand why they're looking at us and laughing!
Kickball - I've definitely noticed that sharing stories about the boys sometimes gets some really negative reactions. Here I am thinking it's just a "cute" story, and someone's jaw drops, or worse they say "Every kid does that, especially if you work with them". Yikes!
When I was at the library this weekend, I actually found a Ruf book I've seen mentioned here. I picked it up, put it back, walked away, went back, picked it up again, hid it under the other book I was carrying, put it back, etc. I couldn't bring myself to check it out because I was sure the librarian would think I was nuts!
Thank you guys so much for the welcoming responses!
Julie

Ditto for us on this. We just always figured it was normal. DS was a late talker, but (in hindsight) there were so many other things that we now know are not the norm. Actually, prior to DS really talking, we thought one of our friends' DS was way above average with language. Our ds's were very similar with alot of things (except the timing of talking) so it just reinforced for all of us that our children were developing normally. After the info/testing we've received as DS been in school, I keep trying to tell my friend that she may just want to have her DS tested as well. I feel pretty confident that she'd find out some of the same things I have, LOL.

Yes, I always have funny cute stories about the kiddos, but I never realized that most of them do have a little element in them that would point to DS or DD being advanced and possibly make others feel uncomfortable. so all those fun stories I can't really share with some friends for getting weird looks or strange comments. It's quite annoying at times because it isn't an obvious story about their intelligence the anything. Like a simple story like this...

At church on Sunday, we were sitting in a row with my best friend and her DS who is a week younger that my DD21mo. The other boy threw a tantrum and was carried out. My DD said "time out, ______ in time out" (fill in blank with the other kids name). Like a story like that is just amusing, yet other people would comment on her talking early or something like that.

Oh well, stories are often welcome here...and I love to read other people's stories.