Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Need Advice on Grade/Subject Acceleration

thanks for the compliment, but no, not a therapist. Perhaps an 'old soul?'

But really - although each kid is unique, what our kids go through is very predictable in certian ways. There really is such a thing as giftedness, and there really is a societal pressure that impinges on 'natural giftedness' in certian ways.

BTW = I do agree that the ideal situation would be a same age classroom with kids who are similar in 'readiness level' in each subject, and teachers who think that variety is the spice of life. It's just that most of the time, that ideal situation is too far away, or too expensive to consider, if it even exists.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

I told DS8 that once everyone sits down, it makes no difference.

I think that it's now accident that children are sorted into 'Grades' like 'eggs.' It's not our schools' fault that they mirror our larger society that sorts and labels everyone in it's path. You can try to explain this to mistaken perspective to DS and see if it sticks.

But my Main, main worry, Tracy-kins, is that someone in that particular classroom is telling him that he isn't 'good enough' to be with the other kids. Someone like a teacher or a bully.
Again - I urge you not to 'just wait this year out.' I'm getting a bad vibe from your discriptions of your son's school setting.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Hi Kriston,
Well I did ask last night about friends in the class.
He said "nobody is his friend" I said nobody?"
He said "almost nobody" I ask "what does he mean almost nobody" He said "5 kids like him and 21 are not his friend"
And then he said the 21 are not his friend because one day he picked his nose. Gross I know, he just turned 6 so most of the year he was 5 and most of the class are much older. Here is an example of a negative social aspect of being w/older kids. Other 5 yr olds wouldn't think much of this but older kids will be disgusted and not be friends etc. I said maybe they will forget my DS said "no they will not forget"

Ah. That is a problem.

I'm with Grinity. I really think this classroom situation is bad news. I wouldn't wait it out.

I'm new to this forum and have a couple of questions. I have a DD6 who is in the middle of going through the testing to get a complete body of evidence together so that she can be tagged gifted. However, we all know she is gifted, this just seems to be the technicalities the school needs to do. She is currently in kindergarten but spend time in 1st grade for reading and math. She reads/comprehends at a 3rd grade level and her math is end of 2nd grade. My DH and I are trying to figure out what the best move would be for her next. She broke down during dinner tonight with cries of "why am I so different from everyone in my class. I don't want to be different, I want to be like all of my classmates." It turns out she has noticed recently that she thinks differently and works differently than everyone else in both kinder and gr 1 and she doesn't like it. We live in a small rural town and we are lucky enough to have a charter school in town she goes to, but there is little or no money for much of a gt program and the school has little experience with gt kids this young. They keep telling me that "the other kids they've had have been accommodated by splitting grades like she is currently doing. But they've never had a student like her before." (If I hear that phrase again I may scream.)
So, My questions are, 1) how do we help her understand that she is different from her classmates, but it is not a bad thing? and 2) If skipping a grade is the thing to do should we have her moved now so she finishes the year off with 1st grade and then goes into 2nd grade with them next year, or should we wait until next school year to make the change?

Sorry this was a bit long but it tore my heart to have her crying about being different at such a young age.

Kerry,

Her classmates are several years older than she is. That is all.

Perhaps if you get Miraca Gross' book and read it then share it with her? Same for Deborah Ruf's book? IIRC there is also a book for GT kids to help them with the issues they have - maybe someone can share what it is. You could also get a biography of Marie Curie that is geared to her age to share??

I was in several rural school districts when I was younger and one did accelerate me. It was the smoothest one. I did reading and math pullouts 2 grades ahead and after the break I was in the 6th grade. I was still so far beyond my classmates that I still did self-study more than half the class time. Other accelerations were handled by asking me what I liked to study.

Kerry,

There is a book titled something like "Gifted Kids Survival Guide." My DS enjoyed reading that book. He nodded and had a smile the entire time b/c he so identified with what the kids were saying in that book. That's the part he like, hearing what the kids had to say about being gifted and different.

Is she prone to 'breaking down' in general, or is this unusual for her?

Is there a grade where she can stay with the same kids all day and be at a reasonable level of fit? Usually a combo of full skips and subject accels is what works best, but for now, she may be better off with a full skip to 2nd or 3rd so she have a group to at least try to 'fit in' with.

You can keep telling her that it's ok to be different, but also support that part of being human is wanting to be 'part' of a group. If she is old enough, apply to Davidson's Young Scholar's program, if she qualifies - so that a few times a year she can have the experience of fitting in. Also - look for Adults or older kids who are passionate about what she is passionate about - really - any group will do.


It's also ok to teacher her that there are a lot of sad things in the world that are beyond anyone's control that we just need to cry and rage over until we can pick ourselves up and 'play the hand we were dealt.' The old 'Courage to change the things we can....'

Also - you can let her post here about what is bothering her, in a new topic, and we'll get our kids on to answer her nicely.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

[quote=GrinityAlso - you can let her post here about what is bothering her, in a new topic, and we'll get our kids on to answer her nicely.[/quote]

Oh, Grinity, that's a GREAT idea!