Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Looking for articles

Does anyone know of any articles about gifted kids who are bored/frustrated but DO NOT act out?

I posted here a while ago, we are still having a few issues with DS4 and school. We are going to bat for differentiation next week, but i'm beginning to feel that Home school is our only option.

DS tells me that he doesn't want to go to school and he wants me to teach him "everything". He doesn't act up in class, does as he is told. But i see anxious behaviours and a sulleness that were not there in the school break. As he doesn't do this in class, the class teacher doesn't believe that he is different our side of school (obviously its hard to believe something that you don't see).

So anyway, i wanted a few articles to read. So i can see that there are other kids like my son who were bored/frustrated but behave well.
I did search online but everything was about acting out. Is there a secret stash of articles some where, or maybe some anecdotal stories?

Thanks, Mewzard.

I was often bored in school, but because I was shy and a real teacher pleaser, I was also very well behaved. This was a big problem though, in that the boredom combined with the desire to please set me up for some serious perfectionism issues. Is your DS4 showing signs of perfectionism? If so, you might want to look at things from that angle. In general, I do believe that kids who are bored but don't act out often develop other unhealthy behaviors (like perfectionism), but I don't know any good articles.

Hi Mewzard - I'm sorry your DS is not happy. I found one article on the Davidson's site that might be pertinent:

http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10130.aspx

(note - my DS5 is not yet in school, but I'm sure there are some on this board who have had this experience too, and will have better resources.)

Hi Mewzard,

Let me preface this with this is MY son's story and I'm not generalizing to any other kids nor am I suggesting any solutions.

I don't have any articles but I'll tell you a bit of my story.
My son did not act out. In K I heard "But he sits there so quietly, never causes any trouble." In 2nd grade I heard "He seems happy when he's here." Later, I spoke w/ a friend who worked in the cafeteria and saw my son everyday. She confided in me that DS always looked so sad and unhappy. HUH? What? This is not what I heard from the teachers. And you'd think he'd be happy in the lunch line when he was able to socialize with friends. I never did resolve the inconsistencies. I found it's difficult to understand what is happening in their heads (the kids I mean). I went to DS's teacher regarding math problems he had been giving the class and DS was distraught over his inability to come up with correct answer. This was in K. Teacher had NO idea about what I was talking. None. Turns out, my son had been making up math problems that he felt he should be able to answer but couldn't. Consequently, he would miss instructions or directions and then not know what was going on. So on top of that, my son was complaining of being behind in K (HUH?) and not knowing what to do.

Fast forward to 2nd-3rd grade where every one is telling me he needs to learn to be bored, that school is not supposed to be fun and exciting and engaging, that he needs to learn to daydream or doodle or instead of adding 3+4 on his worksheets, he should change all the + signs to x signs and answer them. Well, w/ his teachers, DS does not like to get into trouble so changing + to x was out for him. After K, he learned to focus on the teacher and nothing else so as much as I counseled him to daydream, tried to get him to practice this, he just couldn't do it.

Similar to your son, I saw a sulleness that wasn't there during breaks. I counted down to summer. After about 2 weeks, my normally inquisitive, energetic boy was back! The stomach aches were gone. As school neared, it all returned. Luckily, his 1st grade teacher was much better. It all started up again in 2nd grade.

I will check "Reforming Gifted Education" and see if there is anything there about kids not acting out.

I would look at your longterm options. Would your DS still be going to the same school next year? Is he early-entranced already?

I would avoid talking "boredom" with the school though. It is really just a symptom. It might be an easier conversation about seeing needs/opportunities to provide greater challenge. The desire for your child to receive a year of academic growth for a year's time.

Reforming GT ED does address the model student who isn't demanding but deserving. Also, I believe Sylvia Rimm's (and somebody else) textbook titled Gifted and Talented does - but I'll look that up and see if I can just find the passage (I just had it out).

MrFritz, thakyou for sharing your story, it sounds somewhat similar to mine. I have seen a few signs of perfectionism, but then i don't think he has been sufficently challenged. Somehow i manage to under estimate him alot!

SPgirl, that was a good article, i see more of DS4 in the descriptions of GT girls that other descriptions of GT kids and i see more of my DD in the 'act out' lists that in the 'girl' sections . I think i will go back to my books and read the girl sections that i skipped over last time.

Dazed&C - DS sounds quite similar to yours except he doesn't make up his own problems because his teacher has never said he could.
He will be at the school next year. As we are in the UK, he's in K but they start a year younger than in the US. Next year could be better, it's a Yr(Grade) 1 and 2 mix class.

Kickball - i think you got my thought there perfectly -i want to see a years worth of acedemic growth. Right now at school they are doing "adding 1 more" , DS saw the equation x+2=7....stared at it a while and said the answer is 5... I think he is aleast 2 years ahead in maths.

I'd phrase this a little differently since I'm realizing a year of academic growth for my DD6 is much greater than a year of academic growth for a ND child. I finally got a printout of MAP scores for DD6 and it's interesting comparing her growth and typical growth. The nice thing about MAP is I can compare her percentiles for +1, +2, and +3 grade levels. Over time, I see she's steadily working her way up the above grade level percentiles.

My worry is that school personnel will agree to a year of academic growth, but they'll have in mind what is typical for a ND child. This doesn't take into account that GT children can experience much greater growth in a year than a ND children.

I think this also may explain the difference between hothousing and providing appropriate challenge. I would expect a "hot-housed" child to start off higher but move down the above grade level percentiles over time. It appears to be the opposite for a GT child with appropriate challenging work.

Now the question is how to get this across to school personnel.