Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Introducing myself

Hello. I have found many websites that discuss gifted children and read many many posts, but I am getting to the point that I need to vent with other parents who can give me advice and support in raising one of my children who is extremely gifted, 2 who are bright, and one who is musically gifted but hates school.

My story: I have an 11 year old son who skipped crawling, talked in complete sentences at age 1, and was put on the back burner when he was 2.5 because we had triplets. He loved kindergarten and first grade and did very well at finding other ways to have fun, as he was very excited to have his own place (triplets were babies, he was a big boy.) Second grade hit and everything changes - we went from happy school-loving boy to migraines, crying, frustrated with life kid. He has been pulled out for our weak enrichment program since day 1, but in 4th grade asked if he could quit because it was boring. Fast forward to now - he barely pulls b's on his 5th grade report card and has found a way to blend in and not care anymore about anything school-related. He is my concern.

2/3 of our triplets are girls and get all a+'s on report cards, look perfect, score higher on standard tests, but in my opinion are bright, but not gifted like our eldest is. They dont think deep outside-the-box concepts. (like the brother who decided in 2nd grade that learning addition facts was so not important because people in N Korea are opressed?!?!?) And then the other 1/3 of the triplets is our creative ADHD musical, break everything, fix everything kid who leaves me but melts me too...


I feel like school has failed my child and in not doing a whole lot about it, maybe I have to?
I appreciate being able to talk to many parents who will know my frustrations...and I hope I have a lot to give back too.

My secondary job: I work as a special ed para - love my job and the kids I get to work with. I would love to see someone give that kind of attention to my child who struggles as well, just in a different way.

welcome! I am always so impressed with parents of multiples + singles. You certainly have a lot going on.

There are so many wise and talented posters on this board - ask specific questions and you will get timely and insightful responses.

Where are you located? What kind of school system are you in? Do you have many choices for your kiddos?

I can relate to the story of your oldest in that he sounds much like our oldest Ds9. We didn't have the joy/distraction of three others, just one, and so we pulled him out of public school in 2nd grade. We are currently homeschooling/alternative public schooling him but are moving to a larger metro area and hope for more options.

Good luck! and I'm glad you found your way to this forum.

Welcome Mom2. I'm assuming you've ruled out other things that could be causing your DS11 to be distressed. My DS is younger, and my focus has been *prevention* of underachievement syndrome, so I can't give advice from personal experience. However, from others' stories on this forum, it seems that the preteen years is a common time to really see the effects of several years of not being challenged in school. The good news is that there are many success stories of older kids improving their work ethic and undoing bad learning habits when they are in a better learning situation.

Unfortunately, for most of us with kids in public school, we really have to spend lots of time and effort advocating for their needs. Being a pain in the rear (but still respectful!) to our district has paid off. It's getting better, but the work really doesn't end.

Hi Mom2,

Sounds like you have wonderful, bright children that certainly keep you busy. I have 2 children and your son sounds similar to my DD10. We had similar boredom issues at school since 2nd grade and last year 4th grade experience forced us to make some radical changes in her education. Last year DD was not putting much effort to school, had stomach aches and asked to be homeschooled. She was bullied and tried to fit in by not answering questions. Her teacher didn't think she was gifted because of this behavior and pulled her out of gifted math (a pull out program once per week).

We had DD tested (IQ) and she also took the Explore test through a talent search program. With the information in hand, we began looking for the right schooling option and moved to a gifted friendly school district. Our school did not believe in grade skips and the pull out wasn't enough challenge. I'm sure if I had pushed the issue, we might have gotten some accommodation, but frankly I didn't want to battle year after year like other parents had.

Fast forward to this year. DD is in fifth grade, but is subject accelerated in math and LA (+2). She is with other accelerated kids and an enthusiastic straight A student. Next year she will skip another grade of math along with a couple of other kids and she is so happy. I would have never thought one child can change so drastically by acceleration and being around other gifted kids.

I wanted to tell you our experience to encourage you that a child can turn around and be excited about learning. I would suggest having an IQ test and achievement testing done to know your child's level of giftedness. That way you know how drastic your intervention may have to be. The Explore test is inexpensive and your school may be able to do the IQ test. Hope this helps!

Jen

We live in ND, attend a public school district where our gifted children are pulled out of class one hour a day for one week of the month. We have 2 (yes, 2) gifted teachers for all of our elementary school, which are made up of 3,000 students. We are on a block schedule with one block (45 min) being I/E time (intervention/extention)where teachers are supposed to differentiate, but really, they are human and cant do 4 different groups at once, so which group is left on their own??

This has come to a head now because another mom of a 3rd grader came to the PTO meeting asking about the lack of services and I was asked to help her find the right path in getting this issue rasied to our school board, and then possibly beyond if needed. I am busy researching laws, budgets, and stats for this issue.

I do think it is too late to change anything for my children, but there are more kids coming through behind them, and they will need this too, so I work for them now.

We have private schools around here, and I have toyed with the kids of homeschooling. I am all for home schooling, but my hubby thinks I deserve adult out of the home time (I was a SAHM for 8 years)and I think he is probably onto something...those were 8 long years for me.

My SIL is the school Phych for our area and she says she doesn't need to test him because she can tell me the outcome without the test, just because she knows him...and the school district wont test for this end of the spectrum. AUGH!!!!!!!!

Why do you think it's too late to change anything for your kids? If you have the PTO behind you and the board is actually interested in your expertise (the hard part is getting districts to even listen), maybe things will change. After all, unlike other aspects of special ed, gifted ed can be cheap! Or free! With acceleration, the district can actually save money!

Why do you think it's too late to change anything for your kids? If you have the PTO behind you and the board is actually interested in your expertise (the hard part is getting districts to even listen), maybe things will change. After all, unlike other aspects of special ed, gifted ed can be cheap! Or free! With acceleration, the district can actually save money![/quote]

Because he graduates out of elementary in a couple months...too late at this level for him.