Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Am I too focused on 'gifted'?

CFK, could you remind me how old your Level 3 is? Do you see any consequences from not being at his challenge level as time goes on?

Yes CFK! That's why I wrote:

CFK wrote;

Yes my son is like this. I'm trying to work on changing his perception but it has been difficult. If I had two kids like him, I"d give up. My 5yr old is like your other son. He's very easy-going, goes with the flow.

So glad I checked back on this thread to find another gem quote to help me wrap my head around this.

I tried to edit my post but it will no longer let me do so. WHy can't we go back and edit post? What if you put in info that you later decide is too personal and want removed?

I wanted to preface my post with "this is the story of my child. This post in no way insinuates or suggests what you should do for your child or that your child's situation is similar to my child's situation. This is how *my* child reacted to boredom/under-challenge over the course of 3years. I am not implying there is a direct correlation between boredom and IQ, in fact I think there is little correlation. I think it's more about the child's learning style and personality and how that matches the school/teacher."

I think the risk-taking is where our DS's may differ. In a classroom setting, DS doesn't want to stick out. If they say to pick a book from the lower grade levels, he won't even think about exploring the possibility of getting a higher-level book, even when I tell him it's okay to ask. At home, I don't feel there is enough time to challenge his needs in math. I haven't reached the point (yet) where that directed learning in math takes priority over self-exploration. At some point he will need it though.

Well, this isn't entirely accurate...

I meant that I was not speaking about anyone else's child specifically. Not yours, not G3's. But also not just mine.

I was generalizing. I do think that in general, underchallenge/boredom is a major problem for GT kids. Not all GT kids. Not always. Not all forms of boredom. Like any generalization, my point certainly has limits. I think that discussing those limits can be a very productive discussion. But I AM generalizing and not merely speaking about my own child.

I should not have used "you" in the generic sense because it can be confused for specificity that I did not intend. For that single word choice, I have apologized. It was imprecise. But I also would not--could not--use "my child" in place of "you" to make my point. That is not what I intended.

I DO think it is okay to generalize here. Others are absolutely free to disagree with those generalizations, to point out exceptions, to note where an argument falls apart. More power to you! Such debate is good and helpful. I'd like to think that no one here--newbie or no--is going to read anything written here and apply it to their own kids without critical thought.

The fact is that my opinion is a general one about GT kids, and it is one that is important to me. I will express it in general terms.

Hello - we just tried updating some settings so that all users will have access to edit their posts within one month. If anyone has any questions, please send me a private message. Thank you.

Wow - back to the thread I started on how much I love this site.... case in point. Like when they reorganized all the forums and topics.

I almost lost a good friend because of this recently, Dazey, and to be honest, things are still a bit strained. Our DDs are in the same class this year. When we were at a crossroads with DD6 about whether to pull her out of school or ask for acceleration, I shared what was going on. She blew off DDs complaints as typical or being as a result of my questioning her about what she was learning each day in school. The school ended up offering subject acceleration, and I shared with my friend that they did this based on some achievement testing we had done. I thought I was sufficiently vague about the actual score but yet made it clear that everyone involved thought this was what DD6 needed.

A few weeks ago another child in the class was moved out because a parent complained about her not being challenged. It set my friend off. What came out was that she thought we were wrong to have ever gone to the counselor or principal to express concern about DD, that it was just 1st grade and it's supposed to be easy, that I thought my DD was "beyond brilliant," and that I had probably hurt the teacher by my actions. Apparently getting achievement testing was an overreaction because she's my oldest child and put too much emphasis on the fact that she's gifted. All kids should learn the same things in PS, and there shouldn't be special accomodations for anyone. I need to just tell DD to enjoy the fact that school is easy right now.

Clearly I had hurt this friend and annoyed her by sharing our concerns and DD's unhappiness. I had never really wanted to share it with her but I felt I had to let her in on some of it if we were going to pull DD6 from school. And I only shared with her, too, because I believe her kids are GT. Every time we talked about it before the blow up I focused on DD's personality, not her GTness, until the achievement testing came up. It still didn't matter, though, because even after the fact, I think she took my focus on personality to be insincere and believed I was really saying that DD is smarter than everyone in the class. And if I said DD has needs (based on the achievement testing), it's saying her DD doesn't.

So I too wonder if I focus on the "gifted" part of DD too much. I'm sure her teachers probably think so because they don't really understand asynchrony. When I try to explain to the 2nd grade teacher (DD6 goes there twice a day for subject acceleration) that DD6 can't physically write like a 2nd grader but understands everything, she looks a bit like she's frustrated that she has to make a few changes to accomodate her. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but it seems like she thinks DD6 shouldn't be coming to her class if she can't do all the work exactly like the other 2nd graders. Maybe she shouldn't. I can see where "giftedness" could sound like an excuse.

I still don't know exactly what happened to cause my DD to become so unhappy this school year. Could it have been because she picked up on my concern? I don't know. But I do know that my daughter went from being a kid who loved to learn and loved school to a child who begged me to homeschool her so that she could learn something she didn't know. I don't know if "bored" is really the best word to describe what she felt. She simply wasn't learning anything new, and had no academic satisfaction. That seemed to suck the life out of her, and I do think it's probably more related to her personality than to her GTness. Whatever the cause, though, I truly believe it would have been detrimental to have kept her in her 1st grade class without any acceleration.

I think it's perfectly ok to share personal experiences and views. That's how we all learn! (old or new comers). As a relatively new poster, I "filter" the info after reading. U take in u whatever u think will work for you/ child and family.

I can see how some people (friends/ teachers / school etc) will react to the word "bored" being used on a child..... just like the word "gifted".