Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Being your own kid's teacher...

First off, I want to say how much I enjoy reading the posts on this forum - it is really nice to be able to talk/read about issues my kid is having or will possibly have in the future. Although my DD4 is not as high as many of the children discussed here (she's barely in the HG range according to the new WPPSI-III), it has been very tough finding other parents of advanced kids with whom to converse without sounding like some sort of braggart!

ANYWAY, my post really has to do with those of you who homeschool or happen to have taught your child on a more formal basis - I have checked out the local elementary school (we live in supposedly the best district in the area) and was not impressed with the relatively low level of instruction in kindergarten. However, as a middle/high school teacher, I am working on my endorsement to teach in a gifted classroom, and I have the opportunity to take a position teaching gifted pull out in an elementary school in our urban district (average test scores with a so-so reputation) for next year. This would also provide me with the opportunity to take my DD with me for K. I'm sure I can get her qualified for gifted services (district cutoff FSIQ is only 128), but I'm not sure she will do well with me as her teacher for a large part of the day. Sometimes I feel like we already have a parent-teenager relationship (she is very intense!), and I'm a bit apprehsive about how it might go. We also have the opportunity to send her to a highly reknowned Montessori school, but it's very expensive and it will be somewhat of a struggle to pay for it.

So, any advice about what it's been like being your own kid's teacher? We're really torn between local district (with good reputation), expensive Montessori, and bringing DD with me to a less than stellar school but mostly being with me as her teacher.

Personally I really like the idea of having DD with you. I'm in the situation of having DD6 in the local district with a good reputation but find it's still a challenge.

This is only loosely related but I've taught Sunday school with DD's in the class. At first they were hanging on me, so we had a talk about treating me like a teacher in the classroom. They understood it when I put it in terms of fairness and other children not having their mothers with them.

Having a DD4 who's very intense, I can understand your apprehension. I've found she's much better in the classroom for me than at home.

Looking forward to hearing other perspectives on this interesting choice of options.

I would do it in a heartbeat. I have a great relationship with my son. I think it is about the approach. Right now I homeschool my son and he does great. I know when to push and when to back off. I think that fosters a lot of respect. People told me to be ready for a change in our relationship. While I think they meant for the negative, I have seen so much positive. He has been giving me so many more hugs. I love it. I'm sure it would depend on your personalities. Good luck!

I have had some trouble when teaching my own child with other kids. I think it can be hard for a child to have to share mom, and there can be some acting out. I've seen this in both my 4yo and my 7yo, and other homeschooling moms who have taught a group of kids that includes their own have had the same probem--even when they're teens! We were commiserating about it one day, so I think it's pretty common to have some trouble.

I'm not saying don't do it. But I would prepare her ahead of time to share you, and I wouldn't be surprised if she acts immaturely compared to her usual behavior sometimes.

Teaching your child one-on-one is very different from teaching your own child in a group, I'm afraid. Kids have trouble recognizing the changing nature of your relationship from "my mom" to "teacher for all these kids."

Kriston - that's what I'm concerned about. I think she'll be different than normal in a group of kids, and she tends to be really clingy and emo in large groups (until she's comfortable). Although the pullout program will probably only have 5-8 kids in the room at one time (most likely multi-age), I'm not sure it's such a good idea. I do know she's a much different kid at her preschool than she is at home! Thanks for sharing your experience.

Well, like I said, I think if you prepare her ahead of time, it might be perfectly fine. Or it might be a minor annoyance for you that you just deal with. I don't think it necessarily has to be a deal-breaker. Just something to consider and plan for.

What happens if you try it and it is a dismal failure? Is there a back-up plan possible? That would be the way I'd go, I think: try to prep her and have a Plan B in place if it's just not working.

Well, the short answer is that we'll probably have to stay with whatever we decide for at least a year. The Montessori school fills quickly, so that would be a no-go if teaching her in my own classroom didn't work out. We could still enroll her in our neighborhood school, but they only have 1/2 day kindergarten so we'd be scrambling trying to find quality afternoon child care (the good places fill early). So we'll probably need to stick with our first choice, whatever it is....right now, I am leaning toward taking her with me - but we'll see what I think of things after I meet the reg. ed. K teachers at the end of next month.

There is also the possibility of staying in my current position (teaching science) and getting her into the dual language magnet school nearby. I've been reading good things about language immersion on this board, and that is an option for us well.

So many choices!!

Could you volunteer to teach something to a group of kids and include her in it? Just to see how she'll do before you make a decision? That might be your best option at this point. Even if it's just kids of friends or something that you lock in a room for an hour while you talk about science, it might help you to see how she'd fare.

We also live in the best school district in our area. Actually we moved here specifically for that reason (in preparation for DS starting K). I wish I would have know I would end up HSing.....we could have saved ourselves a big huge mortgage. LOL!

DS went to public K and 1 month of 1st grade. I had several meetings with teachers and even the principal during that time, and no one had any interest in helping my son. Even the "gifted" program that he would have been in for the 2nd half of 1st grade was a joke. It was 45min 1 time per week. And all they worked on were critical thinking skills for 1st graders. We have been HSing for 1 1/2 years now, and it has truly been a blessing. He loves it, I love it, so it works out great.

Even the best teacher in the best school, can't give my child the quality of education that I want for him. Not when they have 20 or more kids to educate also. Now I will say that DD5 will be going to public K in the fall. She really wants to, and I think she will enjoy it. At least now I won't have too high of expectations. If she wants to come back home for 1st grade, then great!

RJH -

I know what you mean about the so-called gifted programs at a young age. Our "best in the area" district offers K-1 kids 20 minutes of pull out ONE DAY per week. By the time they get down to the resource room, it's time to come back!!

This seems to be a common theme among many of the posters in this forum - lots of us moved to our current districts specifically for the school systems, and we've been sorely disappointed. In contrast, the neighboring urban district is fairly progressive in their gifted programming (at least, compared to many other large districts). Why such a huge difference?? I'm beginning to think we should have stayed in the "big city!" :-)