Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments She wants to go to montessori...I think?

Well we finished our preschool tours (we went to three). We went to one montessori school and two play-based preschools.

Of course dd liked the play-based preschools-they were full of toys and art supplies. One of the play-based preschools was a bit more structured than the other, but still a lot of free play and creative play. The other play-based preschool had pretty much no structure. The kids chose what to do and when to do it. They could go outside at any time, paint/art at any time, snack at any time etc etc. The outside facilities were amazing. I have never seem a preschool with such a huge natural area to play outside. Dd did not want to leave there. The inside was like a giant kindergym, full of bright colours and pretend play. She loves "cooking" in the kitchen and "feeding" the dolls (both preschools has beautiful interiors). My concern with that preschool is how she would do with no structure. I worry she would feel lost...but maybe that is just how I would feel! Similarly, the more structured play-based preschool has all 40 kids (2 rooms of 20) go outside at the end of the day together. I can't see her enjoying playing on the playground with 39 other kids...it would be too busy for her.

The Montessori school was VERY interesting. I liked some of the rooms and some of the rooms were almost creepy (a couple of weird teachers and gloomy rooms). All of the preschool rooms were wonderful. They were brighy and colourful and the teachers were warm and kind. Dd absolutly loved it there and 2 days later is still talking about it, wanting to go back. She was so interested in all of the activities they had set up. She was not clingy, she talked to the teachers, she tried everything she could. Now this was during an open house so the room was not full of kids, but in terms of the environment she loved it.

Sooooo she liked all of the environments, but the play-based preschools were so similar to everything we already do. The montessori was quite different and I think that interested her. They have to wear uniforms at the Montessori school...not sure how well that will go over with a 2/3 year old. They have absolutely NO toys there. No dolls, no lego, no play kitchen etc. The outside area for the preschoolers is just a courtyard with a sandbox and a couple of bikes. No climber, slide, playhouse etc.

Soo hmmmm. She likes them both, but I think she likes the Montessori better and she was very comfortable there...but I am not sure if I like it for her!

What would you do?? Someone just tell me what to pick! PLease!!!! I'm driving myself nuts. I have to put her name down somewhere either tomorrow or monday because schools are filling up. At least half of the preschools in the city are full already and for some of them people were putting their names down before they were even pregnant! So 7 months before the program starts is definitely pushing it.

P.S. I am sorry...I am sure you are all sick of this topic from me! It is just consuming me right now, so I keep posting about it. Sorry!

You mentioned the Montessori teachers were warm and kind but nothing about the other teachers. Maybe that's a sign.

If I had those choices for my DS at your DD's age, there's no question i'd go with the unstructured place at least for the first year of preschool. My DS does not particularly like conforming. And we've been pretty unstructured with him all along. But once your DD gets closer to "real school" you may want to find a place that offers at least some structure so she'll know what's expected in school. But in our experience, 2 years of fairly structured preschool (those mostly play-based), has been overkill.

Sorry I can't help more - what does your gut say?

Well, unfortunately I can't answer the question for you. It's a tough one that I went through this year as well. We started the year with a play-based non-structured program. He loved aspects of it, but there truly were no limits and he acted out a lot. He actually was kicked out by the program director (they were understaffed, and she didn't want to deal with anything). Then we went to a play-based program that had less children, more structure and limits and he did well there with behavior, but had no challenges at all and he is not really one of those kids that likes to play with legos or toys so that wasn't really his thing (but he loved the gym to play and jump in), and now we just started Montessori last week. In retrospect I should have started with this first as I did know it was the best, but it wasn't the most convenient and it was the most expensive, etc. Those manipulatives are made for him, plus they go outside every day even in the snow so he really likes that. So we love the montessori school he is at now. We really did like his last structured play-based preschool too...but it wasn't the best fit for him. His teacher really liked him and was amazed by him. She tried to do some things at his level and worked individually with him, but she said she could tell that times during circle time and other times it was just so below his level that he would get really antsy and start being silly. I think it would be a good fit for some gifted children. It's a tough decision I know, I guess what you need to ask yourself is what your goal of preschool is for your DD, and what place you feel would best meet that goal. From your post it sounds like you liked the Montessori the best, but liked some of the toys and play areas at the other places. I will agree that they look more like a typical preschool than Montessori does. Anyhow, hope that is somewhat helpful.

It sounded from your post like you are leaning toward the Montessori - and you said your daughter wants to return to that school. I've been researching Montessori quite a bit, as we are considering it for both of our girls for next year (PS and K). I don't think it's a great choice beyond 1st or 2nd grade, but for the early years I think it sounds great (IF the school truly adheres to actual Montessori methods and allows the child to go beyond what is normally considered "age-appropriate" material when necessary).

Have you considered talking to other parents who send their children to each school? Sometimes people with similar parenting philosophies provide the best insight, so if you know someone at any of the schools, ask for their honest feedback.

Good luck - I know what you're going through right now!!

thank you all

My gut says keep her at home! But I don't want to keep her at home! If she wants to go to school, I want the break. I need the break! The montessori school visit was during an open house, so we did get a chance to speak with the teachers a lot, but the other preschool visits were guided tours during preschool time, so we didn't actually speak with the teachers a lot at all (just the director that gave us the tours). So this weekend we are going to the open houses at those 2 preschools. Dd will have a chance to play with the toys and talk with the teachers, so we will see how that goes.

I have spoken with a lot of parents that sent their kids to the play based preschools (via my local, online, parents forum) and they both get great great reviews. One of them is often mentioned as the best preschool in the city. The morning programs at that school are full, but there may be space in the afternoon. The Montessori school gets good reviews from the parents that have kids there, but i have only spoken with 2 families that have kids attending. The rest of the parents on that forum are, generally, against Montessori school for preschool. It is "too structured" for their liking.

Anyhow, thank you all again. We will see how the open houses go tomorrow and then on Monday we will register somewhere, unless we fall in love with a school at the open house and in that case we'll register tomorrow.

I can not wait to have a decision made!

I had my dd in a Montessori preschool for 3 years, she transitioned to a public school now. My ds3 just started the Monetssori preschool at the age of 3. I can't say enough good words about the Montessori preschool, and amazingly, it fits both my kids (one is the studious type, the other one an anarchic devil). But, in the end, it is only the TEACHER that matters. Follow your gut feeling about the teacher. The bad thing is that in regular preschools, teachers change quite often, you might like them in Sept, but somebody else might be there in Dec. In my experience, the Montessori school was way stable. Beware, though, my dd went through a shock moving to first grade. In many senses. The Monessori school gave her education to last her through 3-rd grade (she learns absolutely nothing in 1-st grade). But it taught her to be independent and follow what she feels like. That does not mesh well with a public school. And no, I will never regret havign put her in a Montessori preschool. I might consider following up with a few more grades of elementary Montessori school. But, again, BEWARE: I have heard parents who have bad experiences with Montessori schools, because teh teacher was in a sense or another limiting the kid. Talk more to the Montessori teacher and ask her about her phylosophy about "age apropriate" things.

Hahah. I can totally relate. I had both my DS in Montessori, and I have a little devil as well.

I agree with idh, it is the TEACHER that matters. We love the philosophy, but it is harder to find true Montessori schools or good after the primary community (i.e. lower and upper elementary).

I, or rather DD, was one with very bad experience in a Montessori school and yes, at the end it is the teacher that matters. I would ask if she would be allowed to do activities even if the teacher thinks they are too hard your your DD and if the teacher would be flexible to combine 2 or 3 presentations into one.
As well, in a Montessori environment the child is supposed to do activity 1, then activity 2, then 3, etc. in a very structured way. So I would ask if DD could jump steps and go to the 3 directly.
I would buy books on Montessori method and tried to get as educated on them as you can, almost as if you were becoming a teacher. That way, you understand much better the method and your gut feeling will tell you if this will work on your DD. Do not ignore your gut feeling. I did and it was a very bad idea...

Thank you for this. I did ask the teachers if she would be allowed to move onto a task in which she had not completed the prerequisite taks for and the answer was no. They said they need to see "for their charts" (?) that she can complete the easier tasks. They said they would not make her do them over and over, but she shoul dshow them she has the easier (I'm not sure if easier was the word they used) tasks mastered.

I think the reason I like the Montessori idea is because of the environment. It is different from what we do all week. The other preschools look like kindergym/playgroup and we do that...a lot. I thought she might enjoy something a little bit different and a little bit challenging. I also liked the fact that she would be learning some academics because she really has a need to learn, and honestly, it gets tiring for me to constantly teach!

I don't know. Basically I am still at square one!