Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Recommended Resources If He's So Special Why am I so Sad?

I have a six year old who I suspect is profoundly gifted. He is in first grade and although the teacher is really nice he hasn't learned a thing. I have tried to get her to challenge him but other than having him tested for a once a week gifted program which takes months to test into she has done nothing. I feel like the school is failing my child. I think it really hit me when a few weeks ago he came home from school saying that he didn't like it because the teacher keeps repeating things he already knows. He likes his teacher and he has friends but he has still been labeled the smart kid. I keep thinking to myself that I have a kid who could truly find the cure for cancer or become president of the United States (although I don't know how intelligent anyone would be to want that job)...and no one cares. When I talk to the school I feel like I'm being snobby. I get looks like "whatever." They have acknowledged his intellegence but don't care about making sure he learns. I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle. I watched the TV show Intervention a couple months ago and saw a man on there who had a 180 IQ but had become a druggie and male prostitute because he was so tormented and unchallenged at school. That terrified me and I think I cried for an hour after that show. I guess I just needed to vent...

I can't answer the question but I feel sad about it sometimes too. Welcome and maybe someone else can help you.

So sorry you are feeling that way, I have my spurts as well. My DS4 isn't in the regular school system yet but it won't be long and I am very nervous about it. I suspect my DS is HG+, but it wouldn't surprise me if he was PG as well. l wish that everyone understood him, I wish that everyone cared as much about his future as I do. But the reality is that not everyone does. That makes me sad. And watching him not understand people's reactions to who he is and his confusion about why he is different from others makes my heart ache as well. But there are a lot of people that do understand. And hopefully you will be able to stick with it and advocate for your DS and help them to better understand. Your DS is only 6 and it sounds like he has a very supportive parent that acknowledges his differences and wants the best for him. Being PG is not at all a life sentence (although I did feel like it was for a while there). There are many positives and opportunities. I know it is frustrating when they are squashed by others. I don't have great words of advice, but I do know how you feel and welcome you. I hope you join in and get some support and words of wisdom from others who have been going through all this for a while.

Hi, welcome, sounds like you are doing ok getting the testing done & signing on here. Things do take time - but it sounds like your child is dealing with things well - obviously he needs more, but for now not in crisis mode. Way to pick up on things early!
My suggestion would be to direct yourself towards some literature, movies, etc. highlighting what a delight it can be to be around gifted kids and adults - not to keep your head in the sand, but at least provide balance.
Just reading this forum can be a great start - please direct yourself to the brag thread, for instance:
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/34481/1

ahh the brag thread, I haven't checked that out in a while. May need to check it out this weekend. ; )

Ouch!

Double Ouch!

This sort of fear does keep many of us up at night. Or the tamer version of DS living in the Basement with Stubble on his cheek.

When you think of alternatives, what ideas do you come up with?
Which tests did they use to screen for the gifted program? Group or Individual test? Can you get the name of the test?
Is getting private testing done an option?
Is Homeschooling an option?
Is subject and full grade acceleration a 'heard of' thing at your school?
Does you state have any gifted laws in place?
When your son comes home from school, is he exhasuted or ready for more? On his own time,does he engage himeslf in 'brain-food' activities or does he need to be led?
Is he reading? If so, what are his favorite books?
Does he do 'play-dates' afterschool?

We love venting, but maybe we can turn this vent into a brainstorming session?

((Hugs))
Grinity

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I think it's hard to have a kid that's "different" whether in a good way or not. I cried when we skipped DS because it felt like we were losing a year with him. I grew up with a kid that was brillant & unchallenged & he's a very creepy adult now. So lots of fears.

I like the above suggestions. Does your school have resource teachers outside of the classroom? Can you expand on things at school to make them more fun for him? DS studied dinosaurs with his class. Then he has an extra project to pick 10 to research & write down basic facts about each. He is really excited & gives him something to look forward to and will share when finished.

If his school won't work with him, do you have any other options to switch him?

I'm sorry you feel so sad too. I have those same mixed feelings about my little ones. When I got over the GT denial thing with my little ones, there was something I relized right off the bat. That is that you as the parent have to make sure your child gets the education he/she needs and deserves not the school (I know some will disagree). but I really beleive a parent has to be proactive in their childs education.
Now that you have that weight on your shoulders and trust me we all do, it sounds like you are already taking steps like testing to do this. You may find that you may have to change his schooling, I don't know what options you have , but maybe consider a private school that fits his needs, or a gifted school, or if you are able home school. Or a combo of those. I think what I'm trying to say is there are options it's just finding what works and what will challenge him. Good Luck , and yes that was a pep talk...

I definitely went through stages of grief when I realized the extent of my children's giftedness. It meant saying goodbye to the traditional paradigms and milestones, and charting a whole new course on our own. It was scary and a little sad, as my expectations suddenly fell by the wayside.

Give yourself time, and don't be afraid to acknowledge that you have mixed feelings about it.