Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional taking my 2e kid to college tomorrow!

There are not words to adequately describe the panic, pride, fear and confusion I am feeling as we prepare to drive our oldest son off to away-from-home college for the first time. He's got 40+ college credits under his belt, but the whole living away at school thing is going to be a tough transition.

J has Asperger's and he likes to pretend that he's just a normal guy. It's the elephant in the room, and he doesn't like to admit that he has any differences. I am very concerned for him, as he doesn't seem to understand the importance of throwing his body a veggie once in a while, or making small talk with people you see daily. There are so many little things that his Dad and I do for him at home, that he will now have to be responsible for himself. This is a kid who (aside to my friend the dentist, you'll love this!) "forgot" to brush his teeth for two entire weeks, and who thinks it is fine to live on burgers and pizza alone. He also tends to overfocus on computer games and isolate himself from real-world interactions. Gosh, I make him sound like a train wreck! Actually, he has a lot of positive qualities too, but I'm just stressing out about potential problems right now.

Augh! I'm hoping I can look back on this version of myself later and laugh.

Lorel

Ummm...I have a grown adult son, not with Asperger's, who moved out of the house on his own and.....
didn't eat veggies,
lived on burgers and pizza (Pizza Hut employees recognized his voice when he ordered by phone!),
didn't clean his toilet for 4 months because he "forgot" to pick up the toilet brush at the store,
went to work and then came home to play video games all night and be online with friends he left at "home",
only did his laundry when he ran out of underwear (and then only did the whites),
only cleaned his apartment when we were coming to visit,
drank directly out of the 2-liter soda bottles "so I don't need to wash dishes",
oh, I could go on and on!
But, the good news is that he not only survived, he thrived. He eventually learned to socialize and made friends in his new town. He met a girl, got married and now owns a house and still doesn't eat veggies!

Asperger's or not, your emotions are normal mom stuff. And this too shall pass. Put systems in place, check on him, coach him, remind him and support him. But let him go and he will fly. Roots and wings, the saying goes. He'll find them - I'm sure you've given him a great start! Hang in there - you will both be fine!

Thank you, Dottie. I don't know what I need, maybe some valium? LOL, it HAS to get easier as we go along, doesn't it?

Debbie, your post helped me to look down the road and realize that aspie or not, he'll probably find a niche and do ok. We just need to be patient and let him find his own way.

Deep breath...

Off we go-