Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Anxious anyone?

I have to ask if anyone else is anxious about the future of their child, and education, etc. I would imagine that most parents are in general...but personally I go through spurts, it comes and goes. My DS is only 4, turned 4 a few months ago. At times I don't even worry about things and tell myself that school will be fine and no need to worry...but then he does things that are just Sooooo far out of the realm of what other children his age do that I will suddenly become concerned about his future and what is going to happen when he starts K.

It doesn't help that I work with children this age all day, so I see where they are at. It doesn't help that I have never met a child that is anywhere near whatever LOG he is (or even gifted in general). It doesn't help that I am not gifted. But if he is reading anything and everything, doing all sorts of math equations for fun, learning parts of speech on his own, building "contraptions" for fun, and playing music on his piano that he taught himself to play, etc, etc, etc...and Kindergarten is still a year away? What new skills will he learn in the next year...and what on earth will they do with him in K? In a class with 25+ students and most likely one teacher, how much "differentiated instruction" can possibly be provided? We live in one of the worst possible states to live in for gifted education, and don't have money for private or montessori schools, and our home district is an average district with no gifted programming. And homeschooling isn't an option because I truly have to work to put food on the table. So what are the options here? I don't mean to sound like I am whining...but thought I would share and get some feedback to see if anyone else can relate to concerns about their child's education.

yes. yes and yes.

but I do what I can do.

I am in a similar boat with working to put food on the table and the roof over the heads.

We are looking at a private school, hoping they will give him financial aid.

If not I will have to figure out how to home school............. I am an artist so I work from home, but that means I am always at work. Making money as a fine artist is a hustle. I am constantly dancing trying to make a buck, no steady income.

My DH is a photographer, so he, like me works from home.

It's rough. Our guy is 7 and we have watched his education decline since school started. we tried skipping, we've tried pull outs.... honestly, i am at my wits end. (ok, yes it was a short drive, but still)

But as my father used to say, "Don't let the B!@#$ards get ya!"

Could you look in to financial aid for private school? How about grade skipping? And there are quite a few people that can't homeschool, but they "afterschool". Meaning they do extra, on-level work with their kids afterschool.

I think we all are anxious. I try to supplement school instruction by getting every educational computer game out there.

I also hire a Gifted Advocate to help me with the school and make sure my kids are getting their legal rights. I sympathize with the teachers and try to support them, but in the end, it's the school that needs to make sure the teachers have the extra help to give children what the law requires. Not every state has gifted laws though.:/

I have lived with that anxiety since my child was 5 and in kindergarten. Up until then, I thought he would do very well in school. I never imagined that my son's curiosity or his ability to read and comprehend his science encyclopedia might be looked at as a problem. When my sister-in-law told me he needed to stifle his curiosity before he started Kindergarten, I just laughed because I was sure that curiosity and the desire to learn could only be a good thing. How could they possibly be looked at as a problem?

But it was. My sister-in-law was right. When my son started Kindergarten I found out that most teachers in our school don't invite discussion about whatever they are learning and this is how my son had always learned best, just the two of us, since he didn't go to preschool. He was reading at about a 5th grade level by the time he started Kindergarten and he could do basic math easily, and he was so excited about finally getting to go to a real school.

But when he started school he found that kids are supposed to sit quietly, perfectly still with hands in their laps, and listen to the dull boring lessons that the teacher reads and then do lots of worksheets and take even more dull boring worksheets home to work on so that any opportunity for learning what they want is taken away from them. And even worse than that, they had to color, lots and lots of coloring, and it better be in the lines.

I know some people afterschool and this works well for them. One of my teacher friends has done this with her kids and she let me in on a little secret. When her gifted kids came home with lots of ridiculous busywork for homework like word searches, she helped them with it to get it out of the way, so they could actually learn at home. I wonder how many other parents are doing this.

Our school is a small town public school where sports ability is really more important than learning anyway. I know that most schools are not this bad for gifted kids and I think in most cases afterschooling can work for gifted kids. My teacher friend's gifted kids seem to be doing just fine.

Although my dd does not sound quite as advanced as your ds she was reading very well before kindy and consumed books to advance her knowledge of animal facts particularly reptiles and dinasours. My advice to you would be to see if there is a kindy teacher at the school with LOTS of experience and perspective. If yes try to get DS in his/her class then work with that teacher so you have an ally and advocate inside the school system. When things began to break down for us if 1st grade it was extremely helpful to have the wonderful kindy teachers opinion to point to in the meetings. "Look we're not crazy even your 20 year veteran teacher has never seen a kid like this!" :-) If that does not look good my next suggestion would be to see if grade skipping is accepted at your school if you think DS could handle himself among the older kids. Good luck. Oh and I have to agree we have bought lots of computer games. Try Chess - we love Fritz and Chester.

take care

So how are things working out for your DS now? I do think that K will be very disappointing to my DS. When he was 3 he started a pre-k program a few hours a week. He was so excited about going that I asked what he was so excited about, his response was "I am excited that I can get a history book at school and learn about history" Yeah, there were obviously no history books in that class.

Anyhow, I must ask how people do afterschooling. This may seem strange, but I have never taught my child anything...other than through play and daily interactions. What I mean is while he does know tons of things, I have never sat down to teach him anything. I think he may enjoy it...but I am not sure where to start and frankly there is a part of me that is afraid to teach him anything because that will just make the gap that much bigger when he gets to K. Is that horrible of me? It's not like I am trying to dumb him down...but not encouraging academic learning unless he asks me about it. Like he was asking about parts of speech the other day, so I talked to him a little about it, and we have looked up things together (like last year when he was repeatedly asking about how doorbells actually work). Anyhow, do people that afterschool do a curriculum, or how do they do this?

thanks. we should try chess. He is totally into wheel of fortune right now. He likes to watch it on TV and then go play it on his computer.

If he loves math try the Singapore Math books. They come with a Textbook, Workbook and Practice Books. You can download a pre test for free to see where DS is before you buy and then just take him through the curriculum at home on your own.

http://www.singaporemath.com

Do you have any nice museums in the area? We have found the children's programs to be amazing. Also if he loves reading you could see if there is any local theatre then get the book, see the play(or movie or dvd) and discuss the difference. How about the zoo? You could get books on animals out of the library and then go to the zoo and try to identify groups etc...

Thanks for the response. I have talked with his school a couple times. they haven't told me what they could do with a child like this other than the infamous words "differentiated instruction" They also told me that they have had "several" children reading before the age of 2 in their program and they are doing just fine. I find that very hard to believe, but I am hopeful that is true. When I called I spoke with the school psychologist a couple times. They do screenings in the spring for K, and we are also planning to do some private testing with him in the spring so that will hopefully be helpful. I would love to meet potential K teachers so I could figure out who would be the best. I am hoping that I have that opportunity. I just don't want him to have a bad first experience.

I did look into other programs, but there isn't really anything except a few private schools around. Montessori is full and the program that goes past K is pretty far away to commute, but is an option if we start making more money. All private schools I have encountered do scholarships based on financial aid, not on any academic skills. So aid is a maximum of 25% of tuition...which still makes tuition over $7,000 a year...if we even qualified. sigh. it will all work out though. I am a pretty positive upbeat person thankfully...just venting a bit. It's been a rough week as DH was recently laid off. Adds to the stress of it all.