Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Introducing myself

Hello,

I thought I should better introduce myself since my last thread was erroneously narrow-focused. Although I am a playwright and researching, I also hope to offer encouragement to parents who find themselves struggling with twice-exceptional children who are stressed.

I have three sons, ages 27, 23, and 19. A former Eng. teacher, I have been training young actors since 1996, have published monologues, and am a member of a mid-town NYC theatre company. My husband is a fantastic father and works in IT.

We went through very difficult years with our oldest. Misplacement and ADHD led to intense anxiety which led to OCD. To make a long story short, 14 years ago, we took our district to court to get correct placement as our son was sinking further into anxiety, inner rage, and couldn't function. I consider myself a rational person yet, still, the best word I can find for that difficult period of misplacement is "nightmare." Today, he is a happy and successful Ph.d candidate in Ren/Med Lit.

Thanks...and thanks, Kriston, for the introduction to SENG. It will serve well for the scientific part of the research.

---San

Welcome!

It would be interesting to get a synopsis of the Court action.

Since you bring it up - have read "Glass Castles" by Walls - which probably takes the cake in the Genre. ( I heard it was recently Optioned. )

Another work is the sci-fi work "Emergence," by Palmer?

Good! I'm especially glad to help a fellow writer!

Thanks, Austin and Kriston. I will look those books up. Sounds intriguing. We have all the papers from the case, packed away. I'm not planning to have a court case detailed in my play, but I'm not 100% sure. Even after 14 yrs, I know it would be painful to see reminders.

I'll try not to make this too long. Age 7: couldn't swallow due to anxiety from bullying. Age 8: brought a screwdriver to school to "be an archaeologist on the playground and dig." I got an angry call from the teacher, saying it was a weapon. Can laugh about it now. Same year, hiding under desks and shaking. Still bullied. Remembering homework an issue. More anxiety. Always scored high 90th percentile but poor grades. Hated school. No true peers. Bullying keeps up.

4th gr: no teacher supervision after lunch. Kicked to the floor. Girl cuts a hunk of his hair. Same probs as previous years only worse. Now kicking inside of car, sobbing, tearing apart living room Sun. night before school. Many fits of rage at home, saying he hated us for making him go to school. 5th: parochial school as a hoped solution because of better peer supervision and smaller class sizes and we're not even Cath. He's still miserable.

6th: back in public school. Principal runs G and T and says she won't let him into it becausee of ADHD symptoms and disorganization. Nervous breakdown at ends of 6th and 7th gr. Sch. gives him a home tutor. We agree to ED label or we don't get school help. Broke my heart. I cried a lot. Diagnosed with OCD. All the men on the Stratego board have to be lined up exactly the same as before or something "bad will happen." Fears peers are breaking into house and poisoning his food. Won't get in the car to go places, fearing contamination. Other two sons now have some of their outtings curtailed because fits are so bad we have to go home. 7th: we see a lawyer that'd been on "60 Minutes." Cost thousands of dollars but our son wants to die. Death threats in his locker for being a nerd. Suspended from school because he finally "hit back."

Child Study Team doesn't respond to request of eval. We have to write State Dept. to get action. Dist. takes us to 4 priv. schools to look at options. In the end, they refuse out-of-dist. saying the kids in those schools would drag him down. Expert from Queens College proves the district wrote a scanty, illegal IEP.

The judge shows ignorance of gifted and ED kids: "Isn't it the parents' responsibility to teach social skills?" Judge rules against out-of-dist, siding with dist. A professional told us judge plays golf with someone from the dist. He does rule that the IEP was illegal and that the dist. must pay 14% of legal costs. They appeal and lose. Because of our fight, they recommend him to our county's public, specialty high school, a sci tech one. Wonderful placement. He healed there and found peers. Ritalin sent his grades from d's and c's to a's and a few b's. I believe the dist. wanted us out of their hair. Now he's a successful scholar, has wonderful friends, and is finally in his peer group. ==Thanks, San

Welcome, and thanks for sharing. That is some heavy stuff.

Congrats to your son and family for climbing a pretty darn steep mountain - I think you and others have made our climb MUCH LESS STEEP!!! Thanks

hi scan! Welcome Dear! So important to have moms of grown kids.

If you haven't yet read 'ender's game' by orson Scott card, I reccomend it. I also liked the movie: vitus, particularly the first half.

Smiles
Grinity