Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy I need a sanity check

Ack! Remember the boy who didn't want to do subtraction facts? Well, the teacher has succeeded in motivating him. He declares that he will "wallpaper his room with awards" and brought home his first certificate for level 1 addition and subtraction facts on Friday. I don't even know how many levels there are, but now he wants me to do flashcards with him and in three days (about 10 min/day) he has mastered subtraction up to 18. He has started incorporating multiplication cards as well.

I'm starting to feel a bit panicked...this is a good thing, right? I wasn't expecting him to get them this quickly--it took DD quite a bit longer. Does this mean his placement is too low in math? Or just that it soon will be?

Hm, I think I remember your other post...this turn around sounds pretty cool, the only thing that I'd even worry a bit about is the 'wallpaper his room with awards' part. I wonder what the teacher told him?
I think it might be good to (eventually) find a richer source of motivation for learning than awards, but heck, if this gets the ball rolling...it sounds like he's just plowing through these facts which I must admit I am jealous of!

How old is he again? (re: the placement thing - others might be able to weigh in on that part, I don't think I'd be much help there - or for that matter with the sanity part )

He's 5 yrs. 10 mos. and just started 2nd grade.


I know what you mean about the awards. The teacher also pays the kids in play money (plastic coins) for finishing work and good behavior. DS was already somewhat obsessed with money...I don't want him to think that he has to get paid just to do his work! Am I crazy to worry about this? He seems happy and motivated.

You know, this is really the first thing at school he's ever had to sink his teeth into. He just grabbed it and is bulldogging the heck out of it. I think he's enjoying himself!

Maybe I'm just not used to seeing him engaged with schoolwork. He's also started wanting me to quiz him on spelling. I discovered that he knows how to spell "raccoon". Maybe that's not so amazing, but I wasn't even sure how to spell it. I had to look it up to make sure it had two cees, so I know I wasn't the one who taught it to him!

I think his competitive nature is kicking in. I don't think it's unusual for a child that age to be motivated by external things, that's why the teacher uses play money to reward the children. The trick is to have him internalize those feelings of accomplishment and having the satisfaction of doing a job well, but that will take some time.


I don't have a clue about what you'll be doing to challenge him next month, but I think it might help to have a short chat with the teacher soon.

wow, you two are fast posters!

Ok, I will stop obsessing about rewards I know the teacher is partly doing it to encourage the kids to practice counting money.

I will try to play it by ear, Dottie, but that's a challenge for me . I like to have everything planned out or I start to feel a bit frantic.

I have been thinking about having a chat with the teacher (see obsessive planning above) but I have trouble visualizing how the conversation should go. I will just have to put it off until I know what I want to say and figure out how to say it.

I think I'd start it by saying, "wow! you sure picked up on a way to motivate DS! What will we do when he has all these facts memorized?"

It sounds to me like you have a kid and a teacher on the same wavelength and that she knows what makes him tick. I think it sounds wonderful. Clearly she has won your DS's respect. That goes a really long way in this world.

We have been fortunate to have had many such teachers in DS's life and I think that that is one reason we have never had to do more than subject acceleration.

Thank you, OHG!!!

I think acs said it better than I. We have been blessed with teachers who have really helped GS excel, and I always make a point of telling them how much I appreciate them.

Yes, I had a feeling they would click. I requested this teacher for DS. I know her from my mathlab days when DD was in 2nd grade. She is one of the only teachers who was doing regular mathlabs then and she gave me some good advice on how to run one in DD's class.

Well, I would never say anything negative about my buddy, acs, but I thought your opening salvo was pretty fabulous, OHG! It's what I'd recommend going with, too: compliment, and then ask how to build upon that successful motivation.

So not only is it working well, but it's working well because you followed your experience and instincts. It sounds to me like you can sit back with some chocolate and champagne (or whatever makes you happy) and celebrate! You've had a long road to get here, so enjoy it. There will certainly be other challenges along the way, but maybe you don't have to go hunt for them right now!

Thanks! I'm feeling saner for the moment. Chocolate sounds good...

I know people differ in their opinions on this, but I like positive reinforcement. It seems like many gifted kids need "a reason" to do things, especially if they don't easily see the value themselves.

Besides, would you go to work if you didn't get paid? I bit caustic, sorry, but just trying to hammer in a point.

Just wanted to add that your DS's motivation sounds wonderful. He certainly seems excited about being challenged, however it is occurring. And excitement in school translates into a love of learning. So bottle it up, video tape it, or find another way to savor it. This is what it looks like when life is good.

One more comment from the peanut gallery. Good stress is STILL STRESS to your mental and physical health! So it's good to let it out, and then go eat that chocolate if it's allowed.

Sending ((virtual Chocolate))
Yippee! Math Facts Awards Wallpaper - my boy loves clear goals and the rush of wind as he walks, climbs or glides past them.

Cathy, I'm going to reccomend that you do NOT talk to the teacher until there is a problem. Enjoy the moment. ((Yuck!)) I find this very difficult to do, as my brian loves a problem to worry about, but it's a great excersize to practice being delighted and happy.

If you are anything like me IRL, you are wonderful at seeing the .0005% empty that the glass is, and want it topped off 'just a little bit.'

Smiles,
Grinity

I think this is an awesome news! He is happy, he is motivated and he is learning! That's all you can ask for. As long as she keeps him engaged and he learns then all is well. I say you may even want to e-mail the teacher and say how glad you are to see the attitude change in DS.

DS6 likes awards too. Give him a computer game in which he can earn a certificate every few levels or keep track of his score and you are all set. If it makes you feel better this week DS6 made me write flash cards with English and Latin/Greek words and use them to play a memory game.

LOL! I'm a stay-at-home mom. I work all the time and never get paid

But I know what you mean. Rewards aren't all bad. And certainly better than punishments!

Ok. But I'm keeping OHG's opening line in my back pocket. I volunteer in the classroom once a week, so I will be in touch with her and I will find out how many levels of math facts he has left to do.

Cool!

I think you're right. DS got the same kind of awards last year, but they just weren't meaningful to him.

Having a son the exact same age as yours I would agree with everyone else--I think this motivation is great. Your son is happy and he's learning. Hopefully this enthusiasm will last throughout the year as he faces more and more exciting challenges.

I have to laugh at the wallpapering his room comment. I could totally hear that coming out of the mouth of my son.

Well, right after he said that he started estimating how many pushpins he would need and told me we don't have enough. I think we'll have to use tape...

Here's a funny thing that happened with the flashcards. He wanted me to time him, and he did ten subtraction cards in 20 seconds. Right away he told me that was 2 seconds per card. I guess we can check 20/10=2 off our list

Up until last year, DS's room was wall papered with awards. This summer, he took down most of them and gave them to me to store in a safe place. He's growing up.

Yep. DD has started storing hers in an accordion file. She has another for greeting cards she wants to save.