Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Schedule meeting with teacher (brainstorming)

(I tend to recap because I know others might not know me but may also find replies helpful in their situation... sorry to my e-friends for the repetitious repetition)

Where we are now: advocated for and received early admission into first for DS5.5, skipping K. DS is definitely gifted, but we're not 100% sure of his LOG (at a minimum he's solidly HG). For our DS, where his birthday falls, and our situation, this seemed to be the best choice.

So, it's been a full week of first grade, and initially it was a little hectic. Going a full day was (is) tough on the little guy, but he has seemed to settle into this new routine. This was actually one of our last areas of concerns as during this summer he was still taking late afternoon naps. We got creative and we now have "brain breaks" for 30 - 45 minutes after school. They are like naps, but because we use different semantics, DS doesn't resist laying down during that time His behavior at school--as far as we know--has been great. In fact he'll tell us about his peers that have already lost part of recess time due to their behavior but he (according to him) is listening to the teacher. Good boy!

We're still in the middle of review but the material (surprise) that he's getting for math and reading are for things that he's been able to do for probably about a year now. We're very lucky in that despite being very enthusiastic about school, he'll still do his homework (even though he finds it boring). However, it's starting to get tougher and tougher to motivate him. And based on what they've been sending home, it's going to be a long while before they get to interesting topics for him. Here in PA we do have a process to get a GIEP (it's been started) but he won't be officially identified and get his GIEP until Oct/Nov. We don't want to wait that long because we don't want him to disengage from school. We're already seeing lots of "doodles" on sheets. I'll admit... some of this may be normal. The gap between we he can do and what he is doing in school right now though is very large (can I get a BTDT?!)

So finally I'm getting to the point We have arranged to talk with the teacher to see how we can work together to keep DS engaged. She's gotten back to us nearly immediately via email and she is aware that he skipped K and she's read his psychologist report. All positive signs. Unfortunately we'll have just 30 minutes (max) to talk about the situation. Suggestions welcome. DW and I are going to brainstorm about how to best approach it. Since this is the first meeting we're going to have to balance the relationship building part with the urgency part. I don't want to see DS's school experience deteriorate. Then that might turn into "see we should have never allowed this".

The objectives for this meeting is an initial hello-how-do-ya-do-we're-SON's-parents and let's-work-on-a-plan. Suggestions on our approach would be appreciated.

JB

Do you have any sense that she knows how bored he is? I'm wondering if this will all be a surprise to her.

And now you come to the very big problem that HG+ kids have in school. Grade skips are good and all, but one typically isn't going to be enough, or two, or three in the long run. And at 3+ years, they likely *will* feel some negative effects socially, whereas the one year difference is negligible.

Ugh.

The teacher's probably going to recommend "waiting and seeing" -- which is what "they" tend to do. It buys them time. However, it might not be a bad idea here, since as you point out, they *are* reviewing.

I have no idea what to tell you. Maybe ask about in-class differentiation -- or is she already? You guys have had achievement testing done, haven't you? I'm sorry I don't remember off-hand ...

Achievement tests showed that at 5y4m he was at 1:8 grade level for math and 3:0 grade level reading IIRC. This is off the top of my head. So to your point: we need some sort of in-class differentiation to bridge the gap between now and when we get a formal GIEP.

JB

Don't know. This will be something we'll ask about though (in a non-threatening way)

JB

I'm curious to hear how your meeting goes and can't really offer you much advice since we are in the same boat. Our boys are similar in age and we got our unofficial acceleration this year to 1st grade (for over 1/2 the day--due to strict age guidelines my son must remain an official K student for the first 2.5 hours of his day). I know that the first grade work will not be enough in math or reading and I hope our school, where there is no gifted mandates, can live up to their promise to differentiate.

I'm glad your son seems to be adjusting to the full day 1st grade. I think keeping him motivated is probably going to be the biggest challenge without some differentiation.

You could ask if she uses pre-tests for material? I know that they do this in higher grades (by 3rd and 4th), but I'm not sure about in first grade. Pre-tests are quite useful for math in determining the skill level of an individual. However, the next question would be... If he passes a pre-test on a particular math topic that the intrepid first grade class is about to explore, then what? She would need to find some other material for your DS to do while she is covering the basics with the rest of the class.

In first and second grade, our DS's teachers stressed that they did not want to give material that went beyond their grade level for fear of stepping on the next grade teacher's toes. So you may run into the wall of how do they provide material that is to a greater depth of knowledge when the material is relatively simple (addition facts, etc). Deeper verses faster. It is a challenge.

Just make sure that they don't treat "needs additional challenges" as "needs more busy work". You son shouldn't have to do 30 addition problems instead of 10, just because he can fly through them. There is no surer way to make him detest school than that! Or become an underachiever! If working hard and speeding through easy material just gets you more of the same, then you are going to start underperforming. The other trap that we saw is that DS's first grade teacher would tell him that he could have extra challenging problems if he did the easy work that was assigned first. DS found the easy problems so unpalatable that we rarely chose to do all the easy problems in order to get to the harder ones that she had set aside. He would much rather have played with the kid sitting next to him (and thus preventing that kid from getting his work done). Kids see this strategy as an additional penalty... they still have to do much more work than the other kids in order to have the joy of learning something new. It is better to allow them to skip the easy questions and move on to the interesting ones.

Reading may be easier to differentiate. It is not too difficult to have a range of books available for the classroom. And I have found that as long as my son has at least one subject that is new and stimulating, then he can handle the tedious review of material in other subjects.

My 2 cents: this first meeting you should let the teacher do most of the talking. That will give you the opportunity to understand whether she understands your son or not. If she does, then ask for a follow-up where you present ideas on keeping him challenged. If she doesn't get him, there's not much point (in my experience) in asking her to differentiate for him. So, then you have to decide what to do next.

As far as ideas for what he can do in class:
- read chapter books (either what you send in or he goes to the library)
- illustrate a 1st grade book
- above level brain teasers
- Puzzlemania or some type of workbook like that
- extra computer time.

I think you open the conversation with the Hi, how are you, how's it working out with DS in your classroom? Then let her talk. You might ask about how he's interacting with the other kids or if he really is listening or how well she thinks he is engaged. Maybe ask about her discipline problems and empathize (oh, yeah, we know how hard it can be to have one that acts up).

THEN, when you've got the measure of the teacher you can plan how to ask for more. Or, you might have to go up a level. I don't mean to be negative. We had a teacher last year who took affront to me asking her about challenging Pud and she just never did get it. Had I realized that at first, I wouldn't have beaten my head on the brick wall so much. She wanted it her way and actually told us "I've been doing this x years and this is the way I'll keep doing it". Had I *really* paid attention at the first meeting, I might have picked up on this. Or maybe not.

So, there's my advice. You get what you pay for! Seriouly, though, good luck. I hope you are successful.

Funny. That matches our current agenda. We're geeks; we brainstormed last night and came up with our agenda... (just something for us to keep in our heads, not something to distribute to her)

We're going to start with that exact same question "how is he doing" and move on to what will be coming in the next few weeks and if we have time ask about when differentiation will begin.

Good suggestions all! Thanks.

JB

Exactly how our introductions started! And it was very true. DS's writing has progressed AMAZINGLY well in just the week he's been in school. We've heard a lot of good things about this teacher so I'm hopeful.

And you hit the nail on the head. He's taking phonic quizzes when the child reads easily at the 2nd/3rd grade level. So we need to offer him something between now and the official GIEP. Similar with math.

And we re-watched Todd's presentation on intro to GIEPs last night. We're definitely aware/concerned about the cookie cutter approach.

Thanks!

JB