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Hi - I need a little help. I looked at DS4's preschool newsletter a bit late to find that they would be discussing God and prayer today in class. (He's at a preschool in a church, but it's designed as a not-really-very-religious preschool, so last year we didn't get into this very much at all.) Anyway, I scrambled to give him a sense of what I thought about god, and I found myself talking about The Force from Star Wars. Yikes. So, I am looking for some good books that are sort of intro to religion or just general spiritual or be kind to others sort of stuff. Anything's got to be better than a discussion of Obi Wan Kenobe...Anyone? (On the way in to class, DS said, "I bet Mrs. Teacher knows more about God than you do." I replied that I was sure she knew more about how to teach 4 yos about it, and I only told him a little bit about what I know. But i was laughing on the inside at his snide remark!)

As a background, I was raised very Catholic and got turned off my all churches in my teens and haven't gone back. DH was raised without any strong religion. DS4 has not ever attended a mass or anything (though he's been inside a few churches to check out the architecture.)

I apologize if this isn't related to gifted kids, but I'm thinking it sort of is, because he understands things a bit earlier, and he usually wants the facts about stuff, so this is tricksy. Thanks!

Thanks, but... OK - confession - i have the What is God book somewhere, but I can't find it! I haven't read it either. I will keep searching my messy house (I'm ENTP), and in the meantime, any ideas for raising a spiritual child?

(My DH cut through his extension cord with the trimmers, too, but all I remember was a lot of grumbling about having to make yet another trip to the hardware store, nothing about the Force! ) vvvvvvvuum, vvvvvvvvvim.

Personally, I think the issue of spirituality is much bigger than just God, or what we believe, or religion. It is more about how we respond to mystery. For us it has been about encouraging awe, following imagination, asking questions, looking for answers when there are answers, and accepting that there are some things humans will probably not understand.

We have explored stuff together. We found a great children's biography of Albert Schweitzer that I read him as a bedtime story. He was a wonderfully spiritual man (and clearly PG!) who ultimately found that his core principle in life was "reverence for all life." I think that really stuck with DS.

Thanks acs - I will look for the albert schweitzer biography. That sounds like a good one that will lead to some interesting discussions. I think books with the "reverence for all life" principle, and other core principles that I don't really have a grasp on, are the sort of thing i'm looking for. Or maybe even philosophy. I guess I don't really know exactly what i'm looking for, but i do know i felt pretty stupid trying to quickly explain god and faith to DS before he got it from preschool.

My experience with DD9 is that we never had "THE conversation" about God but series of discussions as she asked questions. The key for me was to reconcile my own beliefs first, since it would be difficult to say much without really figuring it out for myself. I and many of my friends in my age group grew up in some sort of organized religion so our parents did very little talking, the church did it for them. We OTOH have not followed the organized religion route but still see value in spirituality . For us, those conversations are more difficult because there is no textbook to explain spirituality. I also talk about religion in a cultural context. I want my kids to be tolerant of others and part of that is learning about religion, customs and culture.

My advice would be to keep an open conversation. Sometimes I will answer a questions with "what do you think?" and DD has reasoned things out for herself. You can also check out age appropriate books at the library that would relate to your beliefs.

Jen

Thanks Jen. As I'm reading everyone's responses, I guess I'm asking for something that doesn't exist. (Can't someone just give me the manual for how to raise a kind, thoughtful and loving child?)

But the library must have loads of stuff on religions and culture and biographies of wonderful people. So thanks for ideas. I can't wait to hear what DS has to say about what his teacher told him...

Oh, while I was searching I found this book, which sounds intriguing: Pilgrim souls : an anthology of spiritual autobiographies / edited by Amy Mandelker & Elizabeth Powers ; with an introduction by Madeleine L'Engle. Not for DS, but I think i'll check it out. ("This anthology is broken down into the four basic categories of spiritual journeys, according to the editors. 1) Wanderers and seekers--those who pursue 'all available experiences under the sun.' 2) Pilgrims and missionaries--'individuals whose life goal has been the unwavering pursuit of God.' 3) Mystics and visionaries--'who focus on supernatural experiences and epiphanies.' 4) Philosophers and scholars--those who 'demonstrate a lifelong commitment to the discernment of the truth through the exercise of the intellect.')

At his age, I'd start with whatever he brings home from preschool. Support as much of it as you can and/or want to incorporate into his beliefs; what you can't support you explain 'we are respectful of others beliefs'.

We introduced DS to greek and roman mythology first. Being a nonreligous house, he was getting a lot of mixed messages at school and confusion about who was doing what and why. So we started with mythology and creation myths from other periods and cultures. We've touched on Christianity briefly but not a lot.

You may also find some answers in "Parenting Beyond Belief" as it talks a lot about how to raise moral, ethical children outside of a religious upbringing.

OHGrammie - I think that's a very good plan to start with what he brings home from preschool. I just want to be prepared with some answers in case this comes up again.

CAMom - Yes! Parenting Beyond Belief - i think i had this book in the back of my mind as to what i was looking for when I started this post. There must have been a review I read, since i live in MN, and this is a Mpls author. Thank you.

As the pre-school likely believes, there IS a manual for how to raise a kind, thoughtful, and loving child. The Bible! :-)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that (especially since the pre-school is probably christian/bible based) it would probably be a good idea to read the Bible and decide what you believe about it, and explore what spirituality you have for yourself and then have a transparent ON GOING conversation with your son. Since you've had bad experiences with church and organized religion it may be helpful to just read the Bible without any church directing your thoughts on it or any study-group leading it. Commentaries or books may be nice but not neccessary I don't think. Just read and and see. If you believe in prayer (or even if you're not sure) try that too and see what comes of it. Let your son know you're exploring all that too and you can explore it together. Of course, with respect to others' beliefs.

I say explore the Bible for a few reasons, 1) It's the most well known and most sold religious book and what you believe about IT shapes a LOT about what you believe about lots of religions. And since it claims to be God Himself writing (through the hands of many), rather than just about God, what you believe about that makes a big difference in your spirituality. 2) It is probably what your sons pre-school is basing their spiritual teachings on so it would give you common ground about what he's learning at school. 3) It is pretty comprehensive and has an explaination for just about everything from the origin of mankind, money management, how to treat your friends and family, etc.. etc.. 4) I've read it cover to cover and nothing has shaped my understanding of God and others more than that!

Another really good book is "So what's the difference?" it's a book about the most prominant world religions but the COOLEST thing about it is that it does a compare and contrast for each one! So, not only do you get a full synopsis of the worlds most widespread beliefs but you get a layout of how they're different from eachother, where those differences came from, how they're similar and how they were founded. It's a fascinating book!

There is also a lot out there by a guy named Josh McDowell and onother named Lee Strobel. Both adress the Bible, Faith, and Creation from a sceptics perspective. They focus on evidence and compare a lot of different views to eachother. They are excellent. (Both started out as athiests too and after searching out evidence against God found a faith).

I agree that this does effect gifted children a little differently too. They explore depth more and earlier. It's fascinating! Everything's different with them!