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    #250000 - 09/08/22 09:00 AM 3rd grade teacher meeting
    millersb02 Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 04/16/19
    Posts: 24
    My 8 year old son has been identified as gifted. He's at a regular public school in a 3rd grade classroom. This is his first year in a gifted enrichment program. He has 45 minutes of enrichment every day with gifted teacher.

    I requested a meeting with his regular classroom teacher (gifted teacher also sat in on the meeting). My goal in this meeting was to get a quick update on how he's doing. And mostly advocate to make sure that if he's showing mastery of skills, that he's getting differentiated instruction.

    I thought the meeting went OK. But, when I started reflecting… I realized that the meeting was all about behavior and improving writing (which he hates, but he is able to meet grade level standards). I want to make sure there's some run way ahead of him in the subjects he's advanced in (such as accelerated reading instruction). His teacher said he's doing well in in all of the assessments (no specific data). She has opportunities for enrichment in the classroom (doing independent projects, being able to work with another child in class that's also IDed gifted), but he has to earn that by controlling impulsive behavior, self-starting, etc.

    I talked to my son about the meeting. He was angry/in tears. He said the teacher already told him that he could have these new opportunities if he "behaves". He said he doesn't want to "behave" in order to have more work to do. And I see his point.

    He desperately wants to learn content. He wants school to teach him things like history and algebra. He comes home and asks to be able to play math games (the kind where they get harder as you show you know what to do) and listen to audio books.

    I also discovered that he's read 5 Geronimo Stilton books in his first 3 weeks of school, which makes me feel like has way too much time on his hands.

    Basically, every school year I try to advocate for him. And I feel like I fail. I try to talk about meeting his intellectual needs, they want to focus on behavior.

    We had a great summer where I didn't have a lot of behavior issues… we learned a lot about ancient history, read a ton, he listened to a bunch of audiobooks, he played an educational math game everyday, we went places and had play dates.

    Can anyone relate or offer guidance?

    #250001 - 09/08/22 10:42 AM Re: 3rd grade teacher meeting [Re: millersb02]
    indigo Offline

    Registered: 04/27/13
    Posts: 4956
    Regarding the meeting, which upon reflection was possibly a bit unsatisfying...
    1. After a meeting it is common to write an email letter of understanding. For example, you might thank them for their time, list any areas of agreement, and then list areas for follow-up (such as receiving data for the assessments, etc). You might still do this, in regard to your recent meeting.
    2. For future, prior to a meeting it is common to suggest topics for the agenda. This may help ensure the likelihood of covering the issues and receiving the data that you are anticipating.
    3. During a meeting, it may be wise to take notes, including each person at the meeting (name and title) and each topic as it is covered.
    4. You may wish to keep all your notes and copies of your emails together in a ring binder, arranged chronologically by year.

    The old thread at this link contains a round-up of crowd-sourced tips for advocacy:

    Regarding behavior and impulse control, the information at and Wrightslaw may be of interest:
    1. (you might query or search for "executive function" - -
    2. (scroll down and look for the topic "Behavior and Discipline" in the list on the left - -

    #250003 - 09/08/22 01:07 PM Re: 3rd grade teacher meeting [Re: millersb02]
    spaghetti Offline

    Registered: 05/05/15
    Posts: 474
    Depends on the interfering behaviors. Just how bad is it? Are they expecting more because he's gifted? Does he have impulse control issues-- if so telling a child not to do it is not likely to improve, but changing some other factors can be much more effective. Like if the teacher gives everyone a pencil before giving directions, some kids might not be able to pay attention. Teachers learn not to give the materials until the children are ready to start.

    So you need to get a better understanding before passing judgment on the kid or the teachers/program. And that involves working more closely, on the same team as the teachers, if possible without harming your son. But if it's emotionally harming him, then need to intervene. You know your child and that he is fine in the summer, so need to look more. It may just be as simple as giving him engaging work and cutting back on the nonengaging work.


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