Gifted Bulletin Board

Welcome to the Gifted Issues Discussion Forum.

We invite you to share your experiences and to post information about advocacy, research and other gifted education issues on this free public discussion forum.
CLICK HERE to Log In. Click here for the Board Rules.

Links


Learn about Davidson Academy Online - for profoundly gifted students living anywhere in the U.S. & Canada.

The Davidson Institute is a national nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted students through the following programs:

  • Fellows Scholarship
  • Young Scholars
  • Davidson Academy
  • THINK Summer Institute

  • Subscribe to the Davidson Institute's eNews-Update Newsletter >

    Free Gifted Resources & Guides >

    Who's Online Now
    0 members (), 591 guests, and 14 robots.
    Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
    Newest Members
    streble, DeliciousPizza, prominentdigitiz, parentologyco, Smartlady60
    11,413 Registered Users
    March
    S M T W T F S
    1 2
    3 4 5 6 7 8 9
    10 11 12 13 14 15 16
    17 18 19 20 21 22 23
    24 25 26 27 28 29 30
    31
    Previous Thread
    Next Thread
    Print Thread
    Joined: May 2017
    Posts: 58
    E
    Eskes Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    E
    Joined: May 2017
    Posts: 58
    Hello- Any advice or suggestions for parents who are not gifted on parenting gifted children or is it even possible? I have three gifted children (DS15, DS13 and DS10) especially in mathematics. They have all now been accelerated two years in math. My HS and I are not gifted at all and actually struggled more in school. My HS has trouble with reading and probably has a learning disability but refused to get tested when the school suggested it. I recently found out I have ADHD and struggled in school until college. In college I had really good grades probably because I was more mature, tried really hard and interested in the topics. Can you have gifted children when you are not smart or gifted yourself? I have always doubted my children being gifted because of this and have been very hesitant to advocate for them. We do not support them much in school and they are very independent regarding their studies. I have constant guilt and worry that we could be harming them and/or preventing them from meeting their full potential in life. Thanks for any feedback.

    Joined: May 2015
    Posts: 476
    S
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    S
    Joined: May 2015
    Posts: 476
    Mine are in college now, but it was a long road of feeling inadequate. Kids running circles around me with manipulation and always wondering if I was a good enough parent for them.

    At the age of 4, I said to myself, no, this kid was probably not switched at birth because the real parents would probably have stepped up by now with my real kid.

    At the age of 5, the school insisted my DYS skip K. What? How on earth will this kid be normal if they don't stay with peers?

    At the age of 9, we pulled out to homeschool a year and really got to know each other, and you know what? DYS kid is just like every other kid--- needs parental guidance, needs to learn about themselves and be true to who they are, needs parent to support them as they run into some unusual problems.

    At one point my child looked at me and said "mom why is OTG (other gifted kid) doing college math and I'm only in algebra. Why didn't you give me more math". Fortunately, I had an answer because I had included this child in all the decisions. I said "remember you wanted to learn with other children and if we had given you higher math, that wouldn't have happened. Would you be happier knowing calculus right now?"

    Basically, just know that parenting is not about optimizing your child's achievement. It's about helping them grow into themselves with their unique personalities and needs. You and your husband had a lot of needs growing up and they may not have been met. You are in a unique position to recognize mismatches and the impact they can have on your children. Which puts you right where you need to be in parenting. Gifted is just one characteristic.

    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 4,047
    A
    aeh Offline
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    A
    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 4,047
    As spaghetti has observed, every parent has children who are gifted (and challenged) in ways we ourselves were (are) not. It may be academic, or it may be social, or emotional, or physical, or economic, or...

    But the principal difference between parents and children is that parents have learned (and, one hopes, are still learning!) from life--how to be a human, and thus have much more to teach children than academics.

    (And, fwiw, don't be too quick to assume that you and your DH are not intellectually gifted--you've described other exceptionalities that very well could have masked your gifts in childhood. For example, you may have done better in college than in high school not only for the reasons you observed, but also because many persons identified as ADHD have a delayed brain maturation pattern in the frontal lobes that results in their organizational and executive functions looking much like someone about two to three years younger, with the process reaching a mature adult state in the late 20s or early 30s instead of the mid 20s.)


    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
    Joined: Apr 2013
    Posts: 5,244
    Likes: 1
    I
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    I
    Joined: Apr 2013
    Posts: 5,244
    Likes: 1
    The book A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children (https://www.amazon.com/Parents-Guide-Gifted-Children/dp/0910707529) may be of interest.

    James T. Webb PhD was the founder of Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG, https://www.sengifted.org/ ) which offers occasional online web seminars (webinars or SENGinars) and in-person meet-ups for parents of gifted children called SENG Model Parent Groups (SMPGs).

    I agree with others who mentioned that you and your HS may be gifted, and also have some learning differences or learning disabilities in addition to being gifted. This combination is called twice exceptional or 2e. Some websites which may be of interest:
    - Hoagies, 2e ( https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/what_is_2e.htm )
    - Understood.org ( https://www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-success-stories )
    - Davidson Database ( https://www.davidsongifted.org/resource-library/ )



    Moderated by  M-Moderator, Mark D. 

    Link Copied to Clipboard
    Recent Posts
    Testing with accommodations
    by aeh - 03/27/24 01:58 PM
    Quotations that resonate with gifted people
    by indigo - 03/27/24 12:38 PM
    For those interested in astronomy, eclipses...
    by indigo - 03/23/24 06:11 PM
    California Tries to Close the Gap in Math
    by thx1138 - 03/22/24 03:43 AM
    Gifted kids in Illinois. Recommendations?
    by indigo - 03/20/24 05:41 AM
    Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5