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    #248990 07/05/21 12:46 AM
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    GCN3030 Offline OP
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    Hello Gifted World!

    My eldest son is turning 4 this month and I am thinking he is gifted. Since I was formally identified as gifted in grade school this isn't too surprising to me.

    His speech is very advanced for his age with regard to grammar, vocabularly, general knowledge etc.

    He can count in English, Spanish, German, Mandarin Chinese, and French (up to 100 in all but French). He is conversationally fluent in Spanish (from spending over 3 years full time with his native Spanish speaking nanny).

    He can complete a 100 piece puzzle of the world by himself and can correctly identify many of the countries on the map including some along with their capitals such as Cairo, Egypt. He can also recognize many flags, including some obscure ones such as Algeria etc. He also knows many of the US states including some of their capitals and landmarks (Little Rock, Arkansas, Boise Idaho, the Gateway Arch, Mt. Rushmore, Statue of Liberty, Golden Gate Bridge etc.).

    He knows all the continents, seasons, months of the year, and days of the week.

    He knows the alphabet in English, Spanish, German, and Greek.

    He knows all the letter sounds in English and can correctly identify the letter that things start with.

    He can also sight read a number of words in English, and can already spell some simple ones on his own.

    He is interested in learning Latin and Greek.

    He can even recognize some Chinese characters.

    His thinking is pretty advanced too, for example he recently told me he "wants to build a rocketship so he can go to the moon".

    He is able to use a screwdriver, just yesterday we disassembled an old dvd player to look at and talk about the circuit board and electrical components inside.

    He can also play chess including setting up the pieces accurately himself and moving the pieces correctly.

    He has a very advanced quirky sense of humor, for example after he quickly learned all the continents playing with a 3d globe puzzle he thought it was funny to systematically mislabel all of them instead of doing it correctly.

    I could go on but I think all of the above are already enough indicators to establish at the very least that he is not a run of the mill 3 year old.

    Recently I have been so struck by his general knowledge, intellectual capacity, interests, and stamina for learning that I seriously considered quitting my 6 figure job to full time homechool him myself. After bringing it up to my boss, my company really didn't want me to leave and generously offered to let me work just 2 ten hour days a week for 12 weeks in addition to giving me a raise when I return full time.

    Currently my wife makes enough (over twice as much as me...) such that we could afford to keep our nanny to help me take care of our other 16 month old son so I could really focus on the 3 year old. The nanny can't really give him the kind of attention he needs while watching both him and the little one and unfortunately she is not particularly academically inclined or capable so her motivation and ability to read to him and challenge him intellectually is rather limited.

    He has never been to preschool (other than a German Language Saturday School program) but he is set to start part-time a couple days a week in late August at our Church and we are hoping to get him connected to some like minded peers through a gifted homeschool network in our area that is supposed to be operating a Forest School program starting soon.

    He seems to be doing well in Sunday School at our Church which we have been attending regularly since January so I am hopeful that it will work out to have him attend preschool there at least part time, but I am not sure it will be challenging enough for him academically and ideally I'd like for him to establish social connections with some kids that are similarly gifted so I am inclined to pursue homeschooling even if I continue working full time (3 days per week from home after the personal leave is over).

    This past week was the first of 12 weeks taking off Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays on personal leave and I have felt like it was so good for him to spend extra time with me learning all kinds of stuff together. Tomorrow he will also start a summer camp music program at our Church, hopefully that will go well.

    Any thoughts or ideas on my situation are greatly appreciated. I am thinking about maybe trying to focus mainly on English teaching him phonics and sight words in the near term during my leave time to help get him reading on his own sooner so he can hopefully start teaching himself more independently in the long run but I also don't want to push too hard and risk potentially turning him off since he has reacted so positively thus far to a primarily play based approach to learning allowing him a lot of freedom to choose what to focus on. Unfortunately I don't really know anyone else that has a kid like mine that I can talk to, I chuckled yesterday at a family event when my Dad's wife thought it was impressive when she noticed that my son knew about Asia and I told her oh that's nothing he even knows about Indonesia (not to mention Japan, India, China, New Zealand, Australia, etc.).

    GCN3030 #248999 07/07/21 06:15 AM
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    Hello!

    Your story sounds exactly like the tutor that we have known and used for years. When he was very young, he was identified and pulled aside by the Stanford professor who ultimately created Stanford's Education Program for Gifted Youth (which then birthed Stanford's Online High School). This tutor specializes in working with gifted students.

    I could imagine that if you had your 3-year-old having an online lesson with that kind of a tutor, under the distant supervision of your nanny, she then could focus her attention on the 16-month-old. I would not worry too much about socializing him with other 3-year-olds since then you don't run the risk of your intention backfiring where he learns typical 3-year-old behavior and becomes less interested in learning geography, etc. and picks up bad habits.

    I am relatively new to the forum so I do not know if this group exchanges information but I would be glad to give you his contact information if that would be helpful.

    GCN3030 #249006 07/08/21 07:55 AM
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    Welcome, GCN3030!

    A few things which may be of interest -
    1) post: roundup of early gifted traits
    . . (yes, your child appears gifted)
    2) book: A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children, by James A Webb PhD, et al.
    . . (cautionary tales about the road ahead)
    3) thread: advocacy
    . . (prep for finding a good "fit" in schools/programs) Three cheers for homeschooling

    It is important to ensure that learning is student-led, following the child's expressed interests and preferred comfortable pace, with parents supporting, not pushing, the child. Learning which is dictated by parental interests and pace gives rise to terms such as "pushy" parents, tiger parents, helicopter parents, etc, and create a strong negative backlash. Children may develop a sense that they have no intrinsic self-worth but are only valued for their performance. Perfectionism, fear of failure, and procrastination are some of the possible negative results.

    The goal of social interactions at this age may be to find the positives, strengths, and things in common with other children. Frequent comparison with other children may lead to negative traits such as being overly competitive, developing an interest in "besting" others, or using others as a foil to showcase one's own accomplishments,.

    On this forum, where people understand the PROs & CONs of being gifted, one may freely share the accomplishments of their offspring. By contrast, in the world at large, there is strong alienation toward gifted children and their parents. In general, when others notice your child's accomplishments, be gracious and use the moment to create or strengthen a bond, rather than following a natural inclination to share your child's even more wonderful accomplishments and natural abilities. In other words, err on the side of caution and downplay it, until you are assured of the person's validation and affirmation for your child... rather than their weaponization of the child's differences.

    GCN3030 #249010 07/08/21 08:02 PM
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    Welcome, GCN!

    Your child sounds delightful! Enjoy the gift of this extra time with him, without feeling any pressure on yourself or him to learn (or not learn!) anything in particular. You and your wife have obviously done very well with simply allowing him to play and explore according to his interests.

    You still have some time to think about his schooling situation when he reaches school age. You will find that there are families in this community who have public schooled, private schooled and homeschooled (or, like us, all of the above) successfully, with much depending on the needs in the moment of the specific child and the exact circumstances of the schools and staff in question.


    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
    GCN3030 #249013 07/09/21 11:45 PM
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    I really appreciate the replies!

    As an update, this week went quite well, I think the Summer Music Camp at Church was an important milestone as it was the first time we've ever dropped him off somewhere (well besides with the nanny or family) and totally left the area (we've done child care at the gym and church but we've always been on site nearby, this time we were a full 30 minute drive away at home). The teacher did mention that he was "very independent" on Monday, but she said that was fairly normal for the first day since he wasn't used to the structure yet.
    My son later told me he got put on time out at one point that day because he was trying to take out toys when he wasn't supposed to. On Wednesday (his 2nd day of camp) my wife said the teacher indicated he was still a bit challenging but showed significant improvement over his behavior on Monday. Today when I picked him up on his third day the teacher said "he did really well" so I think he got settled into the routine. It was pretty cool, each day they got to make a different instrument and they learned songs, played games, etc. He really likes it, he calls it his "song school". He seems to relish the idea of being away from his brother during the day, he told him this morning before we left in a teasing sort of tone "you will not see me today [brother's name], I will just be gone at school".

    At home I have been focusing a little more on teaching him phonics and sight words which he seems more ready to learn now than he was in the past when I had first introduced those subjects to him. He likes the Curious George sight words program we have which includes a bunch of easy readers and a sticker chart poster (he loves earning the stickers!). He impressed me when I was pointing out the word "bat" as in baseball and he says "that's just like the nocturnal animal!".

    I also took him for a nice hike up to some cave rocks on Thursday which was fun as we got to spend some time in nature together talking one on one which we haven't really done before.

    Today after his music class I took him out to eat at a local German cafe for the first time and we played a couple of games of chess there since they have pieces and boards at some of the tables, the other patrons were rather impressed and asked how long he had been playing to which I responded to their surprise, "since he was 2"; they were very encouraging and told him to keep it up! He was a little shy but he did quietly say a couple things in German like "danke" and "auf wiedersehen". As we left he also noticed a small map of just the country of Germany on the wall by the door and said "look Dad it's Germany!".

    GCN3030 #249065 08/03/21 04:20 PM
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    Charming!


    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
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    Originally Posted by Mrsmimikat76
    I am relatively new to the forum so I do not know if this group exchanges information but I would be glad to give you his contact information if that would be helpful.
    Mrsmimikat76 - Welcome to the forum!
    People often share information such as contact info for a recommended professional as a PM (private message). This feature is found in the menu bar, which reads: Forums List, My Stuff, User List, Calendar, Active Topics, Search, FAQ. Select "My Stuff" and the drop-down menu shows Messages as the first item.

    indigo #249070 08/04/21 07:31 AM
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    Originally Posted by indigo
    On this forum, where people understand the PROs & CONs of being gifted

    This is a really wonderful attribute of the forum.


    Moderated by  M-Moderator 

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