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    Joined: Apr 2011
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    Orson Offline OP
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    This is my first post so please bear with me.

    My son is gifted (the school tested him when he was four and they say his IQ is 154) and has Asperger Syndrome. He is in first grade at a "good" public school, and participates in the g/t program. But the school is not providing my son with strong academics (no science class at all, for example, no foreign language, etc.), and even the services he receives for his AS are weak (untrained paraprofessionals, under-educated special education teachers).

    My son has no academic weaknesses that we know of (he's only seven, so we don't have a complete picture yet). He is way, way beyond grade level in science (all of which he has learned outside of school, of course), has decent handwriting, reads at or above grade level with fine comprehension, does very well in math. He has even started to get interested in drawing/art, which he never cared about before.

    In school this year he has done mostly worksheets. He brings home from five to seven a day, and there may be others he does in school that I don't know about. They have reading groups, some math, occasional creative writing, then the teacher reads a chapter book to the class. Once she finishes reading the chapter book, she shows the movie of the book (if there is one) to the class. The g/t kids are pulled out once or twice a week to do bland, uninspired activities. My son is bored in school and hates it.

    We have several fine private schools in our area, but none will accept my son (or if they do accept him, they will not necessarily keep him) because of the AS. It's a struggle just to get these private schools to admit him for little week-long summer camp classes (they balk or flat-out refuse to admit him, sight unseen).

    We have one or two decent autism schools in our area, but they are for kids with more severe autism (nonverbal kids, for example).

    My son does have special education needs, and they are social and behavioral (inattention, drifting off, refusal to do work or working too slowly). But when he is interested and engaged, he does very well. He becomes more difficult in the classroom when he is given boring work, or when asked to do the same work over and over again long after he has mastered it. I have asked about this, and the school insists he is NOT bored and that the class is plenty challenging. I notice that they tend to either give my son work that is way too easy or work that is way too hard (and they give him the really hard work without bothering to show him how to do it, then send the worksheet home with a snarky note saying, "He didn't know how to do this and needed help to finish.").

    So that's the overview. My panic is about next year. We have done everything to find a new school. We are trying to move out of state for better schools, but haven't been able to find jobs in the towns where I know the schools are better. We have a younger child who will be starting kindergarten, so we have to consider his needs, too. The only advice I've gotten from people is "homeschool," which is just not an option for us at this time. I worry that my son is actually being damaged in his current school environment. I can honestly say that he has learned absolutely nothing in school this year. A totally wasted year. So on one hand I feel that continuing to send my son to this school borders on abuse. On the other hand, I don't see any other option. I know he benefits from the social interaction and being around peers, even if the social skills instruction itself (which is supposed to be taught by the special ed teacher) is poor. But the academics are weak and even the building itself is horrible (no windows in the classrooms). I would love to hear from other parents who have dealt with something like this. We just don't know what to do as far as next year (and beyond) is concerned.

    Last edited by Orson; 04/27/11 01:48 PM.
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    Orson, My son is 8 and very similar to yours. He is extremely gifted (a DYS kid) and was diagnosed with autism when he was 2.5. He is in a public school for the gifted that I was ecstatic about initially, but it is not so great now that we are there. He has had an IEP since he was 3 so he gets services for speech, OT, and social skills. His major problems are social and behavioral. Unlike your son, though, my son acts out and will flip a desk, bump into another kid or break pencils when he gets frustrated.

    I do not think we will find a school that will be suitable for him. The social/behavioral issues require continual group interaction/therapy, yet his mind requires a lot more academics than the school is willing to give him. I was laughing reading about how your son loves science because my son bemoans the lack of science in school DAILY.

    I was hoping that the school would try to meet his academic needs, but they don't. They are satisfied that he is "doing fine" in school. Like your son, he is bored to tears. We are lost as well. I think the school thought my son would have more problems because of his ASD (sort of like the rejection you have been getting from private schools) but he hasn't, so they are happy and don't want to change anything (ie: give him more challenging work). Even though we know more challenging work would HELP him!! It is very frustrating.

    We have been very lucky and have been able to find outside enrichment activities despite the autism. I feel bad that you can't find even that for your son!

    As usual, when I post on here, I don't think I am much help because I don't have much advice....just empathy. We are in a very similar situation!!! Kate

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    Orson Offline OP
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    Thanks Kate. My son hasn't flipped desks or broken pencils yet, but who knows what's to come. I do know he is very frustrated and lacks the ability to appropriately handle frustration. The school is supposed to be working with him on this, but they are totally useless. The IEP is a joke (sorry g/t parents--an IEP is not the "golden ticket" you may think it is) and is only as good as the teachers and administrators implementing it. We are hiring a private science tutor for the summer just to keep my son happy, but as for the next school year ???

    Your post is interesting, because I often dream about having a public school for gifted kids that would have no choice but to accept my child with special needs. But as I've learned over the past few years (my son was diagnosed with autism/HFA/AS at age 3), just because a school claims to serve gifted kids or autistic kids or any other special group does not mean it is any better than a plain old school that serves everybody. It all just depends on who is running the place and how good they are at serving the needs of the different students.

    We live in the suburbs (moved out here "for the schools," of course. Ha!), but are now actually considering moving back into the city. We're hearing that some of the urban schools are doing a better job with kids who are "different" because they have a more diverse student population and are used to being flexible and adjusting as needed for particular kids (one class might have 3 English-language learners, two ASD, two g/t, two LD, etc.). Where we live the kids are all expected to be perfect. None of them are, of course, and mine gets to be the scapegoat because he has an IEP and a label. He is punished regularly and it sucks.

    We are so close to just pulling up roots and moving to a better (hopefully!) state. It can't be any worse than it is here, school-wise. Although we'll be living in a homeless shelter in no time if we can't find jobs.

    I appreciate your empathetic response. At least I'm not alone!

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    Orson, there is also a Regional forum on this site where you might find more information about schools in your area that focus on children like your DS.

    Have you searched for educational counseling specialists in your area that might be able to help you find other schools or resources? These are typically the folks who administer IQ and achievement testing, and many of them also provide educational counseling services. A good way to find them is to post here in the Regional or ID/Testing forum (I think, I'm pretty new to this forum still) or get on private school websites in your area and find their list of people who will administer testing for admissions. We found ours by posting a question to our local neighborhood parents group.

    We have a private school in the Denver area, the Mackintosh Academy, that caters to gifted children and gifted children who are twice exceptional. We have family in the Boston area whose son with Aspergers is in a public school receiving the services he needs, both for his intellect and his aspergers. Have you contacted any of the schools you're looking at out of state to see if they know of similar schools closer to you? Just trying to brainstorm ideas that might help you find what you're looking for. Kudos to you for your determination to get your son into a better situation.

    Last edited by Coll; 04/27/11 03:41 PM.
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    I also empathasize but can't offer a solution. It is so frustrating to have your child in a placement that isn't meeting their needs. I talked to our school psychologist today who basically flat out told me when I asked how we'd meet his educational needs "We won't: Our program is designed for low average to average kids and your child isn't average for both IQ and diagnoses." It is beyond frustrating!

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    Orson Offline OP
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    We basically need to stick with public schools because private schools are under no obligation to educate my DS. He could easily pass an entrance exam for any private school, but I can't live day to day not knowing if I'll get that phone call saying he has to leave because they "can't meet his needs." It happened in preschool, believe it or not, and I'll never quite get over it. Can't put DS through that again.

    The schools we're looking at out of state are just regular public schools. Some districts and schools are just more progressive and compassionate than others (like the school in Boston you mention). I'll see if I can find an educational consultant. I've never heard of that before. We do have experience with special education advocates ($$$), but I'm not sure if that's the same thing.

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    Originally Posted by Orson
    but I can't live day to day not knowing if I'll get that phone call saying he has to leave because they "can't meet his needs." It happened in preschool, believe it or not, and I'll never quite get over it.


    We live on pins and needles daily also. DS got kicked out of a summer program and yes, it is horrible. We receive phone calls and letters frequently.

    Even though the school he is in is public, he could still get kicked out and put in a public special ed program...despite him being PG. Like "squeakywheel" said, our public school is under no obligation to meet the extreme learning needs of PG kids.

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    Rereading old posts is fascinating because more information has become available over the years.

    In this case, wrightlaw and advocacy.

    Posting an update with a link to the wrightslaw resource, for future readers of this thread.


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