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    Joined: Mar 2013
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    Our DYS DD15 still struggles with perfectionism and I cannot but think that learning better study skills would help to take her out of this particular ‘Slough of Despond’.

    I have read that many bright kids paradoxically suffer from having anemic study skills so I raising this in the hope that others that have trodden the same path can share what worked here.


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    I am still working on this one with my child. She *never* study for anything and the whole time I thought that's the way it supposed to be, in elementary and all. She just started middle school and I am hoping things will change but nope. Testing is her thing. Tests are always A+ but homeworks are a mess!

    Then I realize that I have nothing to offer either, because I didn't study myself (did just ok in college). To me, "to study" is synonym of "to memorize", which is weird and not exactly what I would call learning.

    Sorry nothing to add yet but I am totally watching this thread...

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    Understood.org exists to address learning differences and learning disabilities. Topics such as ADD/ADHD and Executive Function Skills are covered.

    Here is a link to one webpage from Understood.org, about learning and practicing Study Skills.

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    DD has had cycles. Beating her with a stick didn't work. OK, didn't really beat her but came close during some of those cycles. She would go from distracted with the social to acing the final math exam. Saying she didn't like chemistry and why she got the 2 on the test, to getting into it and acing the final last year. This year, she is in 10th grade and since she in private school, the guidance counsellor is working with her. She has to meet weekly, the GC talks to the teachers, it is like training her for the Olympics she is in a tight path to change habits and make them consistent. I tried for 3 years and couldn't figure it out. She had 5 days off this past weekend, due to the holiday and parent teacher interviews etc. She had 12 hours of Chinese tutoring, finished a history project, filmed a baking video she had to do for Spanish, plus study for bio and chem tests. And attended her technovation girls group. She had wanted to meet up with someone and go to the mall but she said she was really proud of herself getting so much done. She did take the dog on the beach everyday and go to the gym everyday. And spent the evenings binging on Next in Fashion. So she wasn't stuck in her room. But just focused on getting the work done at a level 5, instead of just doing it is hard to maintain. I am hoping the GC oversight, instead of me helps that.

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    This is my usual go-to recommendation for study/homework skills:
    https://www.nasponline.org/books-and-products/products/books/titles/hops-for-parents

    It's a clearly laid-out, straightforward system for explicit instruction in study/homework/organization skills. This is the parent edition; there's also a school-based edition, which is designed to be used as a semester-long systematic intervention, including a couple of parent sessions.

    Here's the school-based volume:
    https://www.nasponline.org/books-and-products/products/books/titles/hops-interventions-for-schools

    Hard to beat the tips in Dawson/Guare. This is the teen edition:
    https://www.amazon.com/Smart-but-Sc...ut+scattered+teens&qid=1582040763&sr=8-1

    They also have some organizational products:
    https://www.amazon.com/Work-Smart-Academic-Planner-Revised-Write/dp/1462530206/


    Last edited by aeh; 02/18/20 08:48 AM.

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    Originally Posted by tigerhog
    I am still working on this one with my child. She *never* study for anything and the whole time I thought that's the way it supposed to be, in elementary and all. She just started middle school and I am hoping things will change but nope. Testing is her thing. Tests are always A+ but homeworks are a mess!

    Then I realize that I have nothing to offer either, because I didn't study myself (did just ok in college). To me, "to study" is synonym of "to memorize", which is weird and not exactly what I would call learning.

    Sorry nothing to add yet but I am totally watching this thread...

    I think a lot of people conflate the common concept of "studying" (a weird procedure of reviewing/memorizing that I have never understood) with something else that gets called "study skills," which is more about time management and organization.

    Anyone can benefit from the latter, but the former doesn't work for a lot of higher LOG people.

    Personally, I'm the kind of higher LOG person that learns in "quantum leaps"/"zero to sixty," and always have been. It's not just a kid thing; I'm in my thirties. What has helped me gain more control over my learning process is not trying to shove myself in the "studying" box, but learning to recognize the patterns of when and how that largely subconscious process is likely to manifest, and learning to facilitate the conditions for it.

    (I can talk more about this if people would like, but I'm not sure how generally applicable what I have to say is.)

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    Learning material is one thing, but doing projects (which in the real world translates into a bunch of things -- covered in reports.) If you cannot develop the study habits to get the resources, do the research, organize the research, cite the research and write coherently, that is a problem. And for most kids who learn easily and quickly, the discipline to do good, quality research is a problem. I know. I had problems. And I had a job that required discipline and research. I had to explain my thinking in detail so others could understand my thinking. It was SO HARD. Hence I went from equity research to derivative trading wherre I explained nothing. But seriously. Getting it quickly, not required studying can be a real detriment. I am making my kid do detailed projects in history. A course this year that saw some slacking. I said you have to know how to do real research. The work. The detail. When you make quantum leaps, doing the detail research so that others can understand is an acquired skill. Hardest for HG kids in my opinion, who want to skip, hop and jump to conclusions they see more easily.

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    This is the skill I explain to my children as communication. It's why you sometimes (often) have to show your work in math, even though the intervening steps seem obvious (or invisible, for some of the most math-y kids), and why the answers to your science test questions sometimes have to be in complete sentences. Some day, when you are solving real problems and inventing/discovering novel skills/processes/tools, etc., you will need to be able to communicate your thought process in sufficient detail that a person with no prior knowledge of your process (but reasonable general content expertise) would be able to reproduce it based on your documentation. So right now, your learning objective is not really only (or even primarily) the surface content of the assignment (which may be both lacking in cognitive challenge and personally irrelevant), but the highly transferable long-term skill of communicating your thinking. Effective communication is what will extend the reach of your thinking, problem solving and creativity beyond your immediate circumstances.


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    Yeah, exactly. If you can look at stuff like this (and stuff like being the assigned class tutor) as an exercise in learning psychology and communication skills, everything becomes much more interesting.

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    Originally Posted by aeh
    This is the skill I explain to my children as communication. It's why you sometimes (often) have to show your work in math, even though the intervening steps seem obvious (or invisible, for some of the most math-y kids), and why the answers to your science test questions sometimes have to be in complete sentences. Some day, when you are solving real problems and inventing/discovering novel skills/processes/tools, etc., you will need to be able to communicate your thought process in sufficient detail that a person with no prior knowledge of your process (but reasonable general content expertise) would be able to reproduce it based on your documentation. So right now, your learning objective is not really only (or even primarily) the surface content of the assignment (which may be both lacking in cognitive challenge and personally irrelevant), but the highly transferable long-term skill of communicating your thinking. Effective communication is what will extend the reach of your thinking, problem solving and creativity beyond your immediate circumstances.

    Bingo! Such a shame it is rarely possible for our children to actually get INTERESTING work, where this part of the effort seems like a valid thing to do, relative to the content it is required for.

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