Hoping the hive mind here can give me some ideas.
My 2e DD (14) is doing amazingly well. Like even when I pinch myself I can't believe how well she is doing. But, of course, there's always something. I guess as things get sorted out something that was just part of the mix begins to stand out more as everything else fades away.
Over the years DD has worked so hard and has accomplished so much. 11 diagnoses (basically every possible LD and processing issue) have meant tons of interventions, therapies, work arounds, etc. She is in a school that is perfect for her, recently grade skipped and has assistive technology working in all the right ways. We had an awesome year - no drama, no issues. Then at our IEP meeting earlier this month the SLP said she wanted to get DD "out of her comfort zone" and recommended having her attend a social group at the local high school. DD freaked out at the idea. Total meltdown. No way was she going to EVER attend a social skills group - especially not at the high school. After 4 years in a spec ed school where she was forced to attend mandatory social skills classes that she didn't need all her naturally learned skills were undone - replaced by viewing every interaction through a lens of analyzing and applying an artificial step by step process.
Can anyone share info, resources or experience with Selective Mutism or a similar unwillingness to speak to new people?
I don't think SM fits but it's the closest we've been able to come up with. Early childhood history is about as opposite from typical SM as could be. Early talker, outgoing, no seperation anxiety. As happy go lucky baby and toddler as you can imagine, She is a former extreme extrovert, confident but with articulation issues so reluctant to talk starting in about 4th grade because of frequently not being understood or being treated as cognitively disabled. Processing issues can make some environments tough. Slow processing and auditory processing make it hard to keep up with fast paced conversation among multiple people so she learned to just step back and be an observer.
Now says she "gets butterflies" if has to make social conversation with unfamiliar same age peers. Fine with adults, younger kids or speaking in public. No problem ordering in a restaurant, asking for help in stores, advocating for herself at IEP meetings, etc. but shuts down and can not or will not speak to people her own age if she doesn't know them well.
She has friends but no interest in the teen/tween drama many were going through during middle school so became more of a homebody. Doesn't like social media or spending a lot of time talking on the phone or texting. Happy to spend face to face time with friends and is fully engaged when she does. BUT despite being with basically the same group of kids at camp for the past 5 summers is still reluctant to talk to any of them. She's a musical theater kid but spends rehearsals focused intently and won't interact with the other kids in the cast. If there is an extreme extrovert in the group who breaks through DD's walls she usually allows them in along with any friends the extrovert brings along. She eventually warms up to friends of friends so I think trust is likely a big part of it.
All ideas welcome. TIA for any input.
