While your children sound like fairly typical children, I also see somethings you might want to consider.
They have completed homework in their folders that they forget to turn in. They do not do basic tasks like put their plates in the sink or brush their teeth without multiple prompts. When I tell them to go put on a shirt and pants it can take 15+ minutes because they stare off into space or twiddle a bit of thread or a Lego they found on the floor. My son stares off into space a lot and forgets where he is walking to while walking. They do not pay attention in class.
While a lot of this may mirror completely "normal" behavior for children their age, it's possible there's something more going on, especially if you're seeing these signs repeatedly and all together. I'm not a professional, just a parent, but fwiw my ds who has dyspraxia had very similar behaviors when he was your children's age. He did a lot of staring off into space both at home and at school - but he wasn't daydreaming, he was putting off doing a task that was difficult for his brain to coordinate. You might want to observe what is actually happening when your son gets dressed - does he seem to be slow and clumsy at all, or does he seem to have no issues with it? Does he move slowly in general? Was he on the slow end of any of his early developmental motor milestones?
On a recent WISC-V test, my son scored in the 99.5% for verbal and 99% for visual/spatial. His processing speed, however, was THIRTEENTH PERCENTILE.
Was there any additional testing done to determine why there was such a large gap in processing speed? My dyspraxic ds had a relatively large gap in processing speed vs other subtests on the WISC, not as large as your ds however, and a series of other tests was administered to attempt to determine what was at the root cause of the gap. There are any number of reasons that such a large difference in scores occurs - processing speed is timed, so if a child writes slowly or has fine motor issues the score can be impacted, if a child has vision issues they might struggle with either time or being able to complete the task correctly, if a child is tired and just doesn't try their score might be impacted. It's the follow-up series of tests that will help determine what's really going on, and that large of a gap in score most likely warrants at least some looking into to understand.
A thought occurred to me today that perhaps what we are experiencing is extreme imaginative overexcitability. Since my husband and I both work full time, the children have many extracurricular activities, and they struggle with executive function, we have resorted living a very structured, routine based lifestyle. Everything is scheduled and planned in advance to keep us afloat. But, it hasn't "fixed" anything. We are somewhere just over "survival" mode.
Structure is something that was necessary for my dyspraxic ds needed as a coping mechanism before he was diagnosed. He still needs structure much more than a typical kid, but it's easier to make structure work for kids who need some kind of help when you know what the child actually needs, and you can set up remediation/support/etc to focus where it's truly needed.
I'm not much of a fan of the concept of "overexcitabilities" so you can take what I say with a grain of salt, but fwiw, so much of what you said sounds very familiar to me, as the parent of a 2e child. You also noted your child has been evaluated for ADHD and autism but doesn't fit either diagnosis - fwiw, there are many overlapping symptoms and behvaiors shared by ADHD, autism and dyspraxia.
doing dishes is just... mundane.
I hate doing dishes. There's no shame in that lol! I think most of us hate it. But... I wouldn't automatically assume that the reason your kids aren't doing dishes or other routine mundane boring-as-can-be and annoying-as-can-be chores is simply because they're human and don't want to. It's really and truly possible for some kids to be over-the-top intelligent in some areas and still struggle with the brain connections needed to perform tasks that become automatic for the rest of us early on. If the situation is one where you're having to tell your kids over and over again to do the dishes, and then they eventually just do it, and get it done without a lot of help, that sounds like a typical kid their age. If instead, they just never get to it, or they seem to move extremely slow when they are cleaning them, or they're a bit clumsier than you might expect another child their age to be, or if they seem quiet and "lost in their thoughts" while working on them, they might be struggling with the how-to do it piece of the task.
Is there a way I could find a specialized therapist who could help us with this?
I'm not sure you need a specialized therapist or perhaps more testing to determine what type of help is needed (if any). Did the WISC testing your kids have involve any further testing to tease out what caused the gaps in subtest scores, or was it WISC only testing? Was there any achievement testing, and if so, were there achievement scores consistent with what you'd expect from the high WISC scores?
Best wishes,
polarbear
