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    Joined: Oct 2018
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    ASVA Offline OP
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    My DS13 has ADHD and getting executive function in place has always been challenge. At school, he has IEP mostly focus on social skill, but doesn't seem to provide much help on executive funciton side. He constantly miss deadline. Should we request school to give him some accomodation in this area? How should I request in a way that not sounding offensive to the teacher or school?

    Any of your knowledge would be greatly appreciate.

    Thanks!

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    What aspects of executive function are challenges?


    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
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    ASVA Offline OP
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    Mostly stay on top of deadlines.

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    Mostly stay on top of deadlines and getting organized.

    Originally Posted by aeh
    What aspects of executive function are challenges?

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    What sort of system is he currently using for deadlines/organization?

    There are two main types of tool - analog (i.e. paper) organizers and digital tools. I'd probably go straight to digital for a few reasons. Because the digital tools are web-based, you can't leave them behind, misplace them, or forget them. A lot of the tools also allow for multiple users which will help with someone just learning how to keep tasks organized. These are skills that lots of adults struggle with, ponder, and build entire enterprises around.

    First you will want to try out a few tools and see which one you like the best. You will probably want something that makes it easy to add tasks, set deadlines, get reminders, take some notes. I use Asana for personal tasks. It doesn't suit everyone.

    Next you want him to build the habit of adding a task/deadline to the planner as soon as it is assigned. Any thought or instruction of you need to do X (by Y) should go into the system. The idea is to essentially offload that information out of the brain and into the planner. When he needs to know what he should be doing, consult the planner.

    After everything is in the planner and it is doing the work of keeping the tasks and dates organized, then he can start building up the skill of allowing enough time to finish everything on time. This is just counting backwards. If I have a 10 page paper due in five days and I can write 2 pages a day, I need to start today. So you take the big deadline and you break it into subtasks of write 2 pages and give them their own deadlines.

    Once you've set up your system I would take it to the teachers and see how willing they are to help with accountability in the system. Are there any willing to add tasks themselves? If they don't agree to that, would they be willing to check in on the task list once a day or once a week to make sure nothing is missing? Would they be willing to offer feedback on tasks in the system?

    You can even present this as not just an accommodation for you son, but something that could benefit lots of students and prepares them to be better students in college, and members of a modern workforce.

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    In addition to mckinley's great practical suggestions on scheduling (especially the parts about breaking down into sub-tasks), I'd also suggest taking some time observing, and talking with your son, to try to get a better understanding of where the actual problem(s) lie. If he simply forgets deadlines, the advice above will get him going. But it is worth exploring if he actually has difficulty in grasping what and when the deadlines are in the first place. Or are there other issues that are keeping him from completing the work on time (for instance, ADHD, LDs, anxiety....), and missing deadlines is the symptom, not the cause?

    Here's a couple resources I've found very helpful for both understanding what's going on in the kid's head, and practical ways to help:

    Smart but Scattered (book)
    https://www.amazon.com/Smart-but-Sc...94/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?i.e.=UTF8

    ADDitude (website with sample article)
    https://www.additudemag.com/high-school-planner-motivate-adhd-teen/

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    You've received great replies above.

    I'll just add two links:
    - an old post with a few more resources which may be of interest
    - Understood.org, article on Executive Function

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    Thank you McKinley! You've provided us with so many great and practical options that we've never thought of before. We've always been struggling with finding ways to help him but never had any good inputs. I very much appreciate your information. It is so enlightening and I feel I already see hope ahead of him.

    Currently we don't have any system in place except for what's been on the IEP. During last meeting, I've requested subject teacher to send us separate email regarding big deadlines but we were told to check ourselves on blackboard, where kids got assignment from. We are working parents and getting to blackboard everyday is like putting us back to Middle School again. I guess we as parents haven't work diligently enough to foster a good habit of him. Raising a kid with ADHD and some other symptoms is not easy, we have to constantly adjust our expectations and refine the way we do things. Sometimes he's doing fine and we almost forgot that he has special needs. Raising a kid with ADHD is also an Adult's journey of patience, in that sense, we need to be trained to be more patient with our kids.

    Our DS13 doesn't like to use electronics, mostly cellphone. He uses computer for homework, etc. During the weekend, I bought him a wall calendar behind his desk. We will start training him to put on deadline on the calendar based on the assignment from Blackboard. We will also teach him to use Google Calendar to incorporate anything important to it. I know it will take long time until it gets in his brain, but I'm hoping he will get there eventually.

    Once again, thank you McKinley for your insight. I'm very happy that I can find something really useful on this forum.


    Originally Posted by mckinley
    What sort of system is he currently using for deadlines/organization?

    There are two main types of tool - analog (i.e. paper) organizers and digital tools. I'd probably go straight to digital for a few reasons. Because the digital tools are web-based, you can't leave them behind, misplace them, or forget them. A lot of the tools also allow for multiple users which will help with someone just learning how to keep tasks organized. These are skills that lots of adults struggle with, ponder, and build entire enterprises around.

    First you will want to try out a few tools and see which one you like the best. You will probably want something that makes it easy to add tasks, set deadlines, get reminders, take some notes. I use Asana for personal tasks. It doesn't suit everyone.

    Next you want him to build the habit of adding a task/deadline to the planner as soon as it is assigned. Any thought or instruction of you need to do X (by Y) should go into the system. The idea is to essentially offload that information out of the brain and into the planner. When he needs to know what he should be doing, consult the planner.

    After everything is in the planner and it is doing the work of keeping the tasks and dates organized, then he can start building up the skill of allowing enough time to finish everything on time. This is just counting backwards. If I have a 10 page paper due in five days and I can write 2 pages a day, I need to start today. So you take the big deadline and you break it into subtasks of write 2 pages and give them their own deadlines.

    Once you've set up your system I would take it to the teachers and see how willing they are to help with accountability in the system. Are there any willing to add tasks themselves? If they don't agree to that, would they be willing to check in on the task list once a day or once a week to make sure nothing is missing? Would they be willing to offer feedback on tasks in the system?

    You can even present this as not just an accommodation for you son, but something that could benefit lots of students and prepares them to be better students in college, and members of a modern workforce.

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    Platypus101,
    Yes, my DS13 has ADHD and that is the main cause of his forgetfulness. I know that recently because he has a lot going on at his school that makes it much more challenge for him to keep on track of everything. His brain can only absorb so much and when the information overflows, he misses the extra ones regardless how important it is. That is the time that it becomes especially important for us to step in and help.

    Your links are so wonderful. As a matter of fact, I forwarded one abstract from the link that relates to ADHD to the teacher. I also feel we need to advocate for our kids at school, especially to the teachers who don't quite get the reasons behind some behaviors, eg. deadline missing. It is not that my kid is lazy or intestinally trying to avoid work, it is how his brain functions that prevents him from doing certain job the regular way. That is why individualized accommodation is really needed. Most commonly used accommodation that our county or school offers is extra test time, which my son never uses it; or separate testing room or computer, which my son never uses. I feel the accommodation in most teacher's mind are above two types. My son is a twice exceptional, very talented with attention deficit. He can still doing well in his class, but I know that because of his deficit, he didn't get his full potential academically. School or teacher are busy with taking care of every kid, and they are unwilling to treat him any differently (e.g. set a specific reminder to him about deadline or assignment). I thus feel the accommodation we got isn't really a good accommodation that fits him. I will check out your link and hopefully find something that I can use to persuade school to revise his IEP to add more customized in class accommodation to him. This would be beneficial for even when he is in high school.

    Thanks again Platypus101 for your wonderful links. I finally feel I've found the right place for getting advises for my son, after 13 years of searching on the internet forums since he was a newborn.



    Originally Posted by Platypus101
    In addition to mckinley's great practical suggestions on scheduling (especially the parts about breaking down into sub-tasks), I'd also suggest taking some time observing, and talking with your son, to try to get a better understanding of where the actual problem(s) lie. If he simply forgets deadlines, the advice above will get him going. But it is worth exploring if he actually has difficulty in grasping what and when the deadlines are in the first place. Or are there other issues that are keeping him from completing the work on time (for instance, ADHD, LDs, anxiety....), and missing deadlines is the symptom, not the cause?

    Here's a couple resources I've found very helpful for both understanding what's going on in the kid's head, and practical ways to help:

    Smart but Scattered (book)
    https://www.amazon.com/Smart-but-Sc...94/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?i.e.=UTF8

    ADDitude (website with sample article)
    https://www.additudemag.com/high-school-planner-motivate-adhd-teen/

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    Indigo,
    Thanks as always! You've always been providing me with great answers. I really appreciate your help!

    You all are so great parents that I feel fortunate to be able to finally find a place not only for my son but also for myself.

    best,
    AS2eVA

    Originally Posted by indigo
    You've received great replies above.

    I'll just add two links:
    - an old post with a few more resources which may be of interest
    - Understood.org, article on Executive Function

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