Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Segue from VP nomination

That's so true!

And bearing it in mind might help us do better with advocacy. Most teachers/principals/etc. who aren't supportive of gifted needs probably didn't reason their way into their opinions. So is it reasonable to think that maybe, just maybe, reasoning with them as a method of advocating for kids isn't the best approach?

I expect some educators are very willing to listen, but I expect that many aren't. I know I've tried education-related reasoning and have gotten nothing but monosyllabic or off-topic responses.

So, how to reason with people who don't want to listen to reason? Ideas? Comments? Experiences (good or bad)?


Val

Good question! I have had good results by asking people questions, offering information, talking about options and then waiting a few weeks for it to percolate. When I go back, I often find that they have come around to my way of thinking.

I think a lot times we kind of rush in and make what sound like demands based on ideas that people haven't even thought about yet. Under those conditions, many people just dig in their heels and become defensive.

Sometimes, you just don't have a few weeks to wait, though

I feel like I have had a lot of good luck finding people to be mostly pretty reasonable. I can not look back and say I ran into this or that person who just WOULD not budge on a particular thing - except DH .
I am pretty early on in my dealing with schools, however.

My mother always said she thought I had that gift of blarney - she definitely did. One thing I do try to avoid is making people feel like they are idiots. Even if they are.
For instance at work, if I am trying to guage how much a tester knows about a particular area, I might ask 'are you familiar with this' rather than 'do you know how to do this?' to avoid implying I am questioning their overall ability to do the work.

If there is a difference in thinking on something I try to id how they could be seeing this thing so differently and discuss things in that light - so we can all agree that anybody could see things that way, given such-and-such factors. Then we can all agree to see things my way when I have pointed out those factors are moot, incorrect, etc.

When I was presenting all these projects, drawings and constructions from my ds to the gt teacher, I brought in a lot of stuff and just sort of said, let's go through these so you can tell me what makes sense to add to his assessment folder and what does not...she mostly picked things I that I figured were his most interesting pieces, to be sure. And really, what else could I do? She was/is the expert!

I know a lot of folks just turn in a big bundle of work examples- but I took the opportunity to actually talk through most items with the teacher; I had also put post-it notes on all these various items, including age made and any interesting background or discussions with ds that ensued. It was really neat to see her face light up when she saw something especially cool. If nothing else it was a fun discussion.

I think your method gives the person a chance to 'reason themselves into a position', but with information you've supplied. That means they will more likely come to the same conclusion as you.

I agree, too! I try to do this, but temperment being what it is, can't always pull it off!

I have a tough time, too. I'm a 'right here, right now' kind of person.