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    Joined: Jul 2018
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    My early attempts with reading to my daughter, were how long can I read before she starts to cry. I used to have the impression that I should follow the advice to read every day to her, but the more mobile she got, the harder it was. A lot of days she's just not in the mood, but every few days she wants read to, and insists we 'read again'.

    My girl's main solution to the form fitter was either just take the lid off and put in the blocks or try all the holes. We would coach her that sometimes you have to turn the blocks since that didn't occur to her at first. She gets it out on her own now and then and plays with it.

    And I was convinced she would never roll over, crawl, or walk until she did. We're currently all obsessed with how do you jump?

    The first word and first steps seem to take the longest. What does she take interest in?

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    Just to parrot everyone else, my oldest was always ahead in developmental milestones, and extremely verbal at a very young age. My youngest appeared like a slug, and I worried so much about how she would feel compared to her brother. To the point that I argued with her incoming kindergarten teacher (who also had her brother) that she is NOT the same, and she needs not have too high of expectations for my daughter. She ended up surpassing her brother, making me look/feel like an idiot. She is just introverted, and more of an observer than a do-er.
    My husband's brother was/is gifted, and he struggled in school. His parents focused on each of their individual strengths, for my husband it was sports and construction whereas his brother was academics. They also had different expectations for their abilities, and focused more on effort.

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    First, if you have ongoing concerns about developmental delays, then I would suggest that you take those to your pediatrician, who can make referrals to Early Intervention, should that be warranted, or reassure you, should that be more appropriate.

    Second, the range of normal is very wide, especially for language development in children growing up in dual/multiple language learner environments. In terms of language cognition, I would be less concerned about expressive language, and focus more on receptive language (comprehension). It is well established that typical dual language learners have later early language milestones, but more than make up for it by school age.

    Third, everyone's first parenting experience is unique. For some, the intensely child-focused nature of this first experience may mean that the child has less functional need/incentive for communicative or problem-solving behaviors at the beginning, because so much of the environment anticipates or is instantly responsive to her needs. So it may be that there are tasks she doesn't attempt because she knows that her needs will be met without her doing anything.


    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
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    Our little girl gets easily bored. That's why we are very active.
    She likes to listen to music and to dance.
    She loves to climb up the slide (not the stairs of the slide) and to tease me. First, she will sit at the top of the slide and will wait till I get behind her, to make sure that she doesn't fall of that thing. Then she will start to smile and will move forward to make me believe that she is ready to slide down. So when I'll walk back to support her, she will turn around and will crawl to the edge on the other side. And that will go on and on and on until I'll have enough and will get her off the slide.
    Our little one pays attention to details. At the moment she likes to touch my eyelashes and is obsessed with the screws in the door handle. She also tries to put the plugs in the sockets, which she can't, because they are baby-proof.
    Oh, and she likes swimming.
    And that's it for the most part. She was never really interested in toys. She never put a single toy in her mouth. It's the same with food. If we wouldn't feed her, she would rather die than putting something to eat in her mouth.
    Our girl just wants to see as many things as possible. She like to meet new people. She waves at them and even laughs very loudly to get their attention.

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    Sounds pretty familiar to me. I look forward to the day when I don't nervously ask how she ate at breakfast or lunch. She never went through the "let me put things in my mouth to explore" phase. She did just enter into the "let me eat Play-doh and put tiny toy cupcake up to my mouth because I have an active imagination" phase.

    We use Sesame Street to give everyone a break from the whirlwind of toddler activity. She definitely gains language from it (she said "six sides, six angles" the other night).

    Do you do any activities with other parents/toddlers? (It's great way to snoop on development). We are lucky to have an amazing public library and if there isn't a formal kids program going on we can go just play and there's a wide variety (ages and cultures) of kids there to interact with.

    Sounds like you've got it covered. I sympathize with you in having a lot anxiety about milestones. I don't think there's anything you can do to speed them up, any more than you can make the teeth come in faster. So put on some toddler music and boogie down.

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    My son when he was a toddler had a phase where he barely sat for books. I read them anyway in his general direction or sometimes to his stuffed animals. Storytime was good at the library because of the other kids and they had movement activities and listening activities.

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    Thank you all for your replies. A couple of days ago we went to the pediatrician. She said, that our girl seems fine to her, but that her speech is maybe delayed. However she wants to wait until our girl is 18 month old before taking any actions. The pediatrician pointed out, that it is unusal for a toddler of 15 month to know what "above" means, but after she asked her "where is above?", our little girl pointed upwards and after I said to our lo, that we are going home know, she crawled towards the door and tried to open it. So maybe, not all hope is lost. 🤣

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    Good to hear your pediatrician is not concerned, but is monitoring. She sounds like a pretty perceptive and thoughtful doctor (most pedies probably wouldn't have either tested your DC with that question, or noticed how strong her receptive language is). Notice that your DC is exhibiting sophisticated receptive language in her L2 (not your primary household language). Her skills are probably even stronger in your home language.

    Also, the average toddler takes her first steps at 15 months, so being a non-walker right now is well within the range of developmentally typical.

    And, as always, remember to spend more time and energy on treasuring each fleeting moment of discovery with her than on worrying about her progress!


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    My wife, who is one of the cleverest people that I have ever met, didn't speak a single word until nearly 2 apparently. But when she did speak, it was in complete and grammatically correct sentences.

    You just never know.


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    Hmm. I think that you really need to sit and do some major reading and evaluation on what intelligence actually is. I highly suggest you do some reading about the 2E sphere, non-verbal Autistic individuals who have written multiple successful books and more. Let me tell you about my unique situation that gives me very valuable insight..

    My first child is a typical high achiever. Hit milestones early, reading fluently by the age of three, currently 2 easy grades ahead across the board and can read at a college level with good comprehension. She's 7.5 years old. Of course, she has other challenges - intensity, etc.. but otherwise, more stereotypically gifted.

    My second child is almost completely opposite from this on the outside. He is five years old and still mostly non-verbal. He has low muscle tone. He did not walk until 22 months old. He had multiple mild/moderate health issues in his toddler years. His school wants to call him 'intellectually disabled'. But, I can also tell you this - he could hum a tune back to me at 9 months old. He knew all his alphabet by the age of two, which is still far ahead of 'average'. He knew numbers. He's very perceptive. But, the thing is - people who do not know him intimately, struggle with seeing the things he knows because he has almost non-existent speech. Really, it's super inconsistent. He does not test well at all. He simply does care what random psychologist strangers think of him. He wants to do what he wants to do.

    My son is not slow, stupid, 'behind', etc. My son simply has a vastly different brain. He is 'autistic' or whatever. I have no idea what a 'real' IQ would be, because he cannot/does not follow typical testing rules. But I know he's very 'smart' because I witness the unique ways he displays his intelligence. It is my job as his parent not to fit him into a mold that someone else defines as intelligent, but to help him reach HIS full potential. My son has just as much worth and value as my daughter, even though they show their brains in different ways..

    Honestly, your child is far too young to make any assumptions about her intellectual abilities. Give her the support she needs to grow at her pace. Do not assume she does not or cannot know things. Leave her doors open to be her best self. My son's differences are a gift to me. They have given me the opportunity to see the depth and range of the human brain AND of the concept of 'intelligence'. I am thankful everyday for being part of the 'disabled' community and find that Autistic and so-called 'Intellectually Disabled' people are simply some of the best people on the planet.. and yes.. many of them are incredibly intelligent.

    Last edited by BrandiT; 09/22/18 11:53 AM.

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