Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments 7th gr GT math vs recess

Our DS (10) was SSA'd last year one grade in math. He took 5th gr when he was in 4th. This year entering 5th grade the school has offered to let him advance again the to 7th grade dedicated GT math class because he was going to be transported to the middle school anyway (15 minute bus ride away), which is fantastic, and he was very happy about that. The problem is, for the scheduling to work he would be pulled out of his normal lunch(1/2hr) and recess (1/2hr) with all of his friends and would instead be given a 30 min total lunch/recess with the 3/4gr. before he is bused to middle school. This is a big issue for him. He loves sports as well and cherishes his recess as a time to compete with his friends. He doesn't want to miss his 5th grade recess.

There was another option of remaining in the standard 6th grade math class (which will not appropriately challenge him) also at the middle school which would require being at school at an hour earlier (its the first class of the day and the middle school starts hour earlier) then bus back to elementary and continue day as normal. It would be a very long day 7-330

Really torn on what we should do.

any thoughts? or other ideas?

I suggest letting him decide. I think that's actually the most important lesson here: how to make a decision, live with the consequences, and learn from what you chose.

You could help him find a way to make the decision by showing him how to weigh all the pros and cons as a way of figuring out what's most important to him.

I would agree with Val. That you feel torn can be reframed as having two equally good choices (just in different ways). Situations where there is really no "wrong" decision are excellent for learning decision-making skills.

And he has to live with the outcomes, so what he values for this coming year should hold some weight. It might also help to discuss what he actually values about each scenario, and then consider whether there are other solutions to meeting those needs (e.g., extracurricular math or sports), or what tradeoffs he would take in order to have certain kinds of opportunities (social or academic--or social and academic, if the students in the GT 7th grade class might be closer to intellectual peers).

I wouldn't want him to miss recess. Social life is so important at that age! There are plenty of other ways to learn math. My 10-year-old has never learned math in school (used to do Kahn Academy at home instead of math homework; now going to an Art of Problem Solving class on the weekend). Usually in elementary school there isn't so much homework that you don't have 20 minutes for learning math in the evening. Plus it sounds like your school is pretty flexible. Maybe they would let him work independently during math time?

But if he really wanted to give up recess for the math class, I would let him--with only one or two gentle attempts to dissuade him.

I just want to highlight that this is an example of the unhealthy dilemma pointed out by Miraca Gross:

I'm with val and aeh. Both choices have pros and cons and in the end your DS is the one that has to live with the outcome. With my kids (10 & 12) there is a big difference in the amount of complaining if it is their idea vs it being something that I pushed

We've done this a few times with bigger decisions and helped them through making lists of pros and cons and talking everything out. We've also talked through some "what if" scenarios. What's the worst thing that could happen? If it did, what could we do to change/fix it? In some cases that has made a big difference - it was more that there was some fear causing hesitation in picking the one they thought was better. When possible, we've tried to have enough time to sleep on it for a bit to see if there are any regrets.

Good luck!

Could he do math independently this year with AoPS or something else that might be appropriate?

If he is happy socially in his current placement, I'd be very hesitant to eliminate the only times during the day where unrestricted social interaction occurs. Frankly, for HG+ (and I don't know that this is where your son falls--I'm just assuming given the typical audience of this board) kids, my opinion is that the social needs should trump all others given that it is very unlikely that intellectual needs will be met in school. Of course, for some kids, intellectual needs and social needs are strongly intertwined, but for others, and your son sounds like he might be one of them, they are uncoupled enough that they do well with age peers.

There is a lot of truth in the above statement. For HG+ kids, even a 2-3 year acceleration in the areas that they are strong in is not challenging enough. I have yet to see a school that can keep up with a highly capable child's academic needs.

Math is one of the subjects for which there are unlimited resources available to study independently - he can easily be on his own track either with an online course like AOPS or with a tutor. So, take that into consideration when evaluating the options.
I have a child who would be crushed if he could not play basketball with his friends at recess time. His social bonding comes through shared experiences with friends involving sports and it is very crucial to his happiness and lack of anxiety at school.

Thank you for the advice everybody.

We did have him weigh the pros and cons and although he felt horrible about missing his 5th gr. recess, he decided to try out the 7th gr. class. So far he really likes it but we will have to see in a couple of weeks. We can always adjust.

He does still have plenty of extra curricular sports as an outlet for his athletic side (Travel soccer, basketball, skiing, travel baseball etc.) though recess is important to him.

It is very unfortunate that he was forced to make this kind of decision as indigo pointed out.