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    Joined: Jul 2018
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    I'll have to add the rainforest mind blog/book to my reading list.

    ...

    There may be a longer response that will show up later, earlier, somewhere. I think it is still in moderation. Of course I have had so many thoughts and feelings that I typed out and deleted, that it is entirely possible I just imagined posting earlier. I appreciate everyone's help in suggesting ways to find activities.

    Has anyone signed up for SENG?

    Last edited by mckinley; 07/13/18 12:39 PM. Reason: More to say
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    Originally Posted by brilliantcp
    To join in with an earlier statement, this is kind of like after-schooling for adults. Learn, grow, keep busy, while not relying solely on work/school to meet all your needs and still acknowledging that work/school is necessary at this time for you. Isn't this why we sign the kiddos up for computer camp, math camp, and music lessons etc.?

    These are my thoughts too.

    I have heard, to battle these situations, an exercise in humility is the remedy.
    We have been doing this in our family. It is very powerful.

    Volunteer work is an amazing tool to helping us focus.
    For us its the local shelter or Second Helping Food Kitchen.

    https://www.mindful.org/three-tips-for-cultivating-humility/


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    Originally Posted by mckinley
    Has anyone signed up for SENG?

    I signed up for SENG this year but was disappointed. Most of their events/content seemed to be geared toward helping parents raise gifted kids. I did participate in one online event for adults, but it was just a powerpoint presentation and the discussion that followed was rather awkward. That was the only event I actually attended though, so maybe I gave up too quickly.

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    Serving on a nonprofit board is another good option. That's something I started this year, along with writing fiction, that has been very gratifying. It may also allow you to use skills that are underutilized at work.

    I've also done quite a bit of hands-on, direct volunteer work, but in my experience, that only makes my work dissatisfaction that much more intense. It makes my time at work feel that much more pointless and ridiculous. That's not an argument against volunteering--just a suggestion that volunteering outside of work might not make twiddling your thumbs at work any easier.

    I really like the recommendation to serve local government. My city has a formal program for training/developing citizens who want to get more involved in their government. There is an application process to identify good candidates and ensure representation from across the city. You might want to look for something like that in your area. I could also see that leading to more interesting paid work in the long run.

    In terms of therapy, the best thing I've found is writing. I didn't really appreciate the term "creative outlet" until I started writing. Doing something creative allows me to release all that energy and drive that I have to keep pent up at work everyday. At this point, I don't know what I would do without it.

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    Originally Posted by MsFriz
    ... but in my experience, that only makes my work dissatisfaction that much more intense. It makes my time at work feel that much more pointless and ridiculous.

    Although addressing the solutions for boredom wasn't my original point, this sums up my situation on that topic. The emotion I experience is frustration that when I know what I'd like to do I'm prohibited from doing it, and when I'm free to do what I want all of my energy has been drained by that frustration.

    I guess I just need to learn how to be in the moment more often.

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    Originally Posted by Alannc44
    The biggest difference I can see is that as an adult, I can quit my job and move somewhere. A kid has to settle in where ever his parents put her/him

    Because that was done to me repeatedly as a kid (parent moves family to take new job in quest for happiness), I'm rather strongly opposed to that strategy.

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    Originally Posted by mckinley
    I guess I just need to learn how to be in the moment more often.

    On top of not being challenged, at every job I’ve had, I’ve had hours upon hours of idle time in my work week, so staying in the moment is slow death.

    This is probably something that is hard to relate to unless you’ve experienced it first hand. Not even many gifted people seem to get it.

    I do wonder though, if it isn’t the same people who fell through the cracks as gifted kids who struggle with underemployment and underachievement as adults. If so, it seems it would be especially unkind to simply kick them to the curb at midlife and tell them to get over it.

    As for me, I grew up working class in a rural area and was told from a young age that college was beyond reach. I went anyway (first generation college student) and am still carrying the debt decades later, but I really wasn’t prepared for the white collar world and don’t feel at all successful professionally. I almost think I had too big a divide to cross in one generation and that my son is the one who will benefit most from all the tail-chasing, wheel-spinning, teeth-grinding work I’ve done.

    I still struggle daily though, with how to make the most of the many hours between now and retirement.

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    Originally Posted by MsFriz
    I do wonder though, if it isn’t the same people who fell through the cracks as gifted kids who struggle with underemployment and underachievement as adults. If so, it seems it would be especially unkind to simply kick them to the curb at midlife and tell them to get over it.

    Or ones that didn't fall through the cracks. I'm a weird case where I was identified and had a lot of resources and opportunities in grade school, but the geographic relocation de-emphasized that kind of program. I think maybe there is still an assumption that gifted kids will "figure it out," but really it took me a long time to realize that the things that caused me problems in work were the same thing that caused problems in school. Part of the problem is there's much more emphasis on finding the right job than on finding the right school. So it's easy to slip into the habit of job hopping to find the better job.

    I think what's missing is creating support structures for adults similar to structures for gifted kids. It's like needing to identify where I'm maladapted and create counteracting adaptions.

    If you are a gifted adult, what would you put in your plan?

    If you are a parent, what would you want your child to carry into an adult plan?

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    Mentoring!!!!

    My supervisors are forever asking me to train and mentor new hires, my coworkers, interns or students, but when I start talking about my own professional development, they can't end the conversation fast enough. Maybe they're worried I'll only leave if they invest in me, when in fact, some true professional development would be a reason to stay. Or maybe they assume I can figure out whatever I need to know, as I learn quickly and am very self-motivated. You can be self-reliant to a fault though. Had I ever had a mentor, I think I could have avoided a lot of the groping, bungling trial and error I've gone through trying to direct myself over the years.

    I'm also a big believer in informational interviews and have gotten a lot out of them at some critical junctures, but they're still no substitute for a true mentoring relationship.

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    Apparently "I like to learn and would learn whatever my organization thinks is most helpful" is not a development plan that my supervisor can work with. What ended up in the review is a list of projects I said I was going to work on, and a note that I would also continue to work on improving my attitude.

    I think 'mentor' may have been one of the missing words in my search for resources. Putting the focus on mentoring instead of counseling turns up different options.

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