Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment 27 months old & clearly advanced, pediatric visit?

Hello! I was so happy to find this forum because I feel weird asking my friends, or even coworkers these questions because I get weird responses and then feel like they thought I was bragging... I am behavior analyst with a specialty in verbal behavior (so I am trained to and love to teach nonverbal children to speak). Because of this is I am VERY familiar with milestones, beyond verbal skills as well. My daughter speaks at a six year old level, in 16 word+ sentences. My brother is also gifted, although now an adult and suffers from some pretty serious mental health issues (primarily depression and varying forms of anxiety). Some of this is focused on being gifted and always feeling different and ridiculed by peers. This terrifies me, so I am admittedly a little obsessed with the research on giftedness (well and my job requires frequently referencing research and data). Anyway, Has anyone found it helpful to speak to your pediatrician about it this early? She started speaking at 7 months and has spoken in full sentences since before 18 months old. My pediatrician has never really looked at her milestones, but I think that�s because he knows I am a behavior analyst and have mentioned some specifics in the past. Would it be at all helpful to bring up and maybe look st iq testing, get local resources? Or something? Honestly I am a bit overwhelmed by her advancement in pretty much every realm and verbal operant. She�s young enough that I feel kind of powerless to the looming challenges of school, social activities with peers etc. sorry I know this goes a bit beyond the scope of one post, but like I said I am so relieved to find a forum like this! Thanks

Welcome!

I am also a professional with expertise in child development. I think you are likely right about your pediatrician. Our pediatrician told me frankly early on that he trusted that I would raise any developmental concerns, if I had them, so he was going to keep his questions on milestones pretty general.

As to cognitive assessment at barely two years old? I expect you know that assessments at this age are notoriously unstable. The best instrument developmentally for littles is the Bayley's, but the SB5, DAS-II, and WPPSI-IV also have norms down to age two or 2-6, and have the advantage of much higher ceilings. That being said, I don't know that a formal assessment at this age would be worth the money (out-of-pocket) you would have to spend on it, especially given the limited testability of tiny people. I typically recommend evaluation if there is 1) a problem being experienced by the child, for which more information may lead to solutions, or 2) if it may provide access to needed resources. Honestly, I don't see either test being met in your current situation, based on the data provided.

I hear your anxiety about her future, especially where there is a family history of mental illness in an identified GT individual, but really, you have time to work out school and peer relations. Keep educating yourself on GT resources and development, but even more, enjoy your lovely child, and continue to be present.

The Paediatrician can only say "yes the child is advanced" assuming they are willing to even say that. Is there a need for that? It is I suppose possible to test IQ on a young kid but once again what would be the point? Relax and enjoy while you can and save testing and doctors for when there is a problem or something to be gained.

Oops I think it posted before I wanted it too. I see a huge difference between her and same age peers and feel like I should be doing something different to help her. @aeh is right that a lot of it stems from having a family member currently struggling with GT related issues (feeling so different from others, not fitting in because others also feel he�s so different, intense emotional responding to others suffering, etc.) as an adult and I just want to make sure I am doing what I can. I�d love to be able to find a group of other super verbal toddlers in my area. Luckily my friends son, who is a bit older, is gifted and has a lot of language too, but at 3 he�s just a little wild thing sabout doesn�t necessarily want to do the same hyper focused activities my daughter does (string beads for hours, carefully help set up and play with marbles, meticulously �garden�) any way, I am happy to be here. Hopefully it will help tamper some of my anxiety by at least making me feel like I have a community as she gets older.

It is hard but most of things you could do you probably already do. Gifted children don't come from nowhere after all. Plenty of freedom to explore inside and out will do for now.

I do think your worries are not completely unfounded (don’t panic, I’ll get to this) but the pediatrician is the last person who can help you with that.

Toddlers as verbal as yours are probably like 1 in 10.000 or something. You will know the statistics better than I, it’s your job, and you’re right that it is almost impossible to find at least one kid who will “match” your daughter. I still recall my oldest’s utter frustration when he was a super verbal toddler, and my huge relief when *something* worked, even for a short time.

The good news is, it is not really necessary at this age, because she is probably still just as happy or even happier to have your company and attention, or a loving grandparent’s attention. As you no doubt also know, kids that age engage in parallel play still. While it may seem to you as if she were ready for full cooperative play if she had a fully verbal peer, that part of he development probably isn’t quite there yet. Your mileage may vary, my oldest actually turned out to be somewhat delayed in play development, my middle daughter was early and could engage in some cooperative play with another super verbal toddler girl at around 2.5 or so. But while for short moments it was like having two 5 year olds in the house for a play date, they needed intense supervision and help every so often when it smacked you in the face that no, they were two, and utterly incapable of dealing with more mature give and take.

So, try to pick activities. Do stuff with the other highly verbal 3yo where they can do lots of running around. Find a quiet little girl who enjoys stringing beads, too, or will play happily in the mud alongside your little girl while she plants flowers or something. Sometimes kids a bit older or even a bit younger work better than same age peers because kids instinctively adapt to different developmental levels in mixed age groups. Sibling groups, if you have them among your friends, are great for very asynchronous little kids, because there are so many developmental levels around at once, and kids with a lot of siblings tend to be more tolerant.

Start researching preschools and elementary schools now. Try to find schools with mixed age groups, with a contingent of highly educated (not necessarily wealthy) parents who are more likely to have very verbal children as well. Montessori doesn’t work for every gifted kid, but your daughters temperament sounds like it might be a good fit, if done right. Most importantly (and that one can be a problem, specifically, with Montessori, but also schools who profess to cater to the “gifted” but who really just look for bright kids rom high SES familiies) look for flexible teachers, without preconceived notions, ready to accept that they may be looking at a kid the likes of which in verbal and probably overall cognitive development they haven’t seen before and may not soon again. And who also understand that she’s still just a very little kid who may be all over place developmentally otherwise.

I would like to add that things get easier as other kids get more verbal (though they don’t “catch up”) and that having a parent who “gets it” and is proactive in finding other people who “get it” will go a long way to make things easier fir our kids than it was for our generation.
It is hard work but my kids are doing so much better socially than I or my husband ever did.

And, and I hope you won’t be offended by my going there, the best thing you could provide for your daughter asap would probably be a sibling....

Thank you so much everyone!

I�m learning so many things with my six year old. All I can tell you is to be proactive and make sure you get involved in her education early on. I sat for the past three years and really made a mistake by not advocating for her needs. I did not want to brag to the teachers about her abilities. I don�t like people to even think I�m bragging because every child is different and are capable of doing great things.
Long story short, she�s had three very boring and wasted years of schooling so far.