Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Freaks out when another kid kills bug

And I assume that recess is after lunch?

It sounds like he really found some great ways, with words/art and speaking up to solve the problem! My DD at six would cry/freak out at school and play dates etc plenty, I know how frustrating that can be, but it sounds like he's got compassion and found a good channel for it!

There is one before and two after. I'm sure he'll think of something. He'll probably use his pockets.

I just want to say, I love your kid he learned how to work the system.. it's not always a problem when people feel things passionately, it also gives them the energy to make changes.. please give him a hug for me, my DS almost 10 still freaks out if someone tries to kill a bug in front of him..but at the same time, he doesn't have a problem feeding the odd tomato hornworm to our chickens. But it's also hit or miss, sometimes he will determine that he doesn't want to feed the tomato hornworm to our chickens, and will want me to put it in a jar so he can raise it to eat more of my vegetables...*sigh*. My child generally objects to senseless killing, not giving bugs to their natural predators for a snack.

This isn't an issue of empathy or compassion from the school's perspective... this is a straight up bullying issue.

If they can't deal with bullying as an issue the higher level issues don't matter. This isn't a kid/invertebrate issue it is a kid/kid issue... The school needs to be supportive.

I agree but at the same time, I don't think it was so clear in the moment. The teacher didn't see what happened. DS says (while crying hysterically) that the kid called him over, showed him the ant and then killed it. Squisher kid says (in a normal voice) that he found an ant, wanted to show DS, it started biting him and he slapped at it to get it off because it hurt.

We talked about it more today. He said with some things he can be upset and keep it together and figure out how to make it right. With other things, it makes him so upset, he doesn't have control. He said it was like how a possum gets scared and plays dead. He gets sad and mad and starts crying/screaming because sometimes there is just no making it right. He went on to explain that with the ant, it was dead. There is nothing he can do to fix that situation. That little interesting life is over and for no reason.

He said he can think through how to keep something like that from happening again but at that moment he is like the possum but very much not acting dead.

Thanks LAF, he is quite the little character.

Same issue 4+ years later at new school with worse bullies.

Today during after school care there were ants inside the gym in a corner area. Kids were stomping ants, DS10 told them to stop, they didn’t, so he walked away. They thought it was funny it bothered him.

They called him over acting like they were stopping. He said he was suspicious but was wondering what they had planned. One kid grabbed him and held him trying to make him watch while the other kids laughed and stomped on the ants. He punched the kid that was trying to hold him in the face, the kid pushed him down and kicked at him. He says they didn’t hurt each other and they all just avoided each other after that. No authority figure saw anything and no one got in trouble.

Why do some kids find killing things so entertaining?

Your son sounds sweet. You just have to get him through school so he can be himself. I know a boy like this. He is now in high school and is in cadets and is quite serious. I think he has found a more gentle crowd.

KJP,

my 8yo son reacts similarly. so far it's the only time he's gotten in trouble for violence at school. he'd knock the kids down or shove them away from the ants. after he got in trouble, he changed his tactic to picking the kids up and putting them elsewhere. which was not a perfect solution -and we had a talk about that- but distracted the ant-squishers enough that it became less of an issue.

hopefully your son's situation smooths out soon.

Ei