Hi all, it's been a while since I posted here. Two months ago DS7 (grade 2) started public school after the private gifted school he went to last year was unable to manage his behavior this year. I waited a full 2 months to see how the public school would handle things and to give myself time to think before deciding to come here and get some opinions. I honestly think the public school is doing a good job, but sometimes I worry I am not expecting enough of them/too afraid to ask for more because I know my son is already a handful!
We did full academic and IQ testing last spring with the district as I had a feeling we might find ourselves in this situation this year, so at least we had an IEP going into this. They quickly revised it once they got to know DS and I think it is a very good IEP overall. I am disappointed that it only lists ADHD and ASD and not TS, which I think is much more debilitating for him than the other 2 diagnoses. DS has very noticeable and almost constant tics that interfere with his ability to attend/use his body to accomplish tasks (such as writing or even walking efficiently down the hallway). I still don't feel confident in his ASD diagnosis and he is medicated for his ADHD, so when TS and OCD stuff is waning a bit he does well with attention and work production, but when waxing he can't focus much at all. The medication does a great job controlling hyperactivity and impulsivity at all times, which is great.
Soooo, first thing the school did when he started was to do some placement tests. First they focused on reading and he tested at level S, which they told me is 5th grade level. 96% accuracy, but only 4/9 comprehension. This seems pretty accurate to me and I figured there would be a few kids he could be in reading group with, but they said no, he is in a group by himself, none of the other kids are reading anywhere near his level. I think he is doing reading on computer right now using something called iReady. I really wanted him to be in a reading group
Then they tested his math also using iReady and he tested 5th grade. So for math he is using iReady by himself at least some of the time, maybe even all of the time (they didn't make it clear). I think he would have tested higher, but it seems he has to be able to do a certain number of multiplication/division questions (answers handwritten) to pass the level he is at. He also is weak in long division and long multiplication (but he can do it in his head decently enough to pass 4th grade level). He is not exactly happy or cooperative in math because he doesn't like division much, especially multi step long division. Math is usually a favorite subject for him, but he prefers simple algebra, fractions, and geometry, stuff that is interesting but not too mentally taxing (calculations take way more focus than exploring concepts, DS loves complexity, but not tedium!)
DS is in the gifted program, which meets for 30 minutes 2x per 6 day cycle. So a little under an hour a week. But he's the only kid in the program, so it is another class of 1 for him.
It seems to me like DS is alone a lot of the day. And times when he is being educated with the other kids he is often disruptive and has to sit in the hall. He has been attending the school for 2 months and hasn't made a friend. He is an outgoing and friendly kid and he made multiple friends in the first few days at the private gifted school he attended last year. His current areas of interest include maps/geography, chemistry/periodic table, anything related to shapes, puzzles and logic, and a weird kind of pretend play that is more like Dungeons and Dragons than regular pretend play, complete with a fully fleshed out world (well there are multiple worlds with portals) and all sorts of craziness.
Obviously I am worried about DS never making a friend at the public school. Despite not having any friends and everything else going on at school, DS always wants to go each day. He hates days off. He couldn't wait to go back to his prior school over summer break and the current school over Thanksgiving break. He seems happy overall. The school has been great, agreeing to all of my requests (scribing available, no homework, etc.) and everyone there has been great to work with.
I'm just wondering if there is something else that we could be doing? With his behavior problems (mostly silliness, poor regulation of any sort, no aggression), I feel bad asking for more and I'm not sure more would work out. Should I ask about letting him do reading with a higher grade? Like maybe the top reading group in 3rd grade would have some kids at his level? Should I push for more challenge in math to keep him interested? Should I suggest they allow him to move past simple multiplication/division even though he can't pass the speed tests? We also looked at a school that focuses entirely on behavior, but it is very expensive and we could only afford it if the district pays. I'm not sure how to decide if where he is at is good enough or if we should push for intensive behavioral support and hope that we can get him back in the gifted private someday (they said he is welcome back if behavior improves).
We just want DS to be happy and make good personal progress in behavior. It would be great if he could make academic progress too! He is always learning though, he likes to explore concepts and understand things. At school they are surprised because when he earns rewards for getting his school work done (which is a very big deal still at this point) he chooses academic rewards, which I guess is unexpected! It drives me crazy that he has so much potential and so wants to learn and excel, but is held back by his behavior year after year.
I hope that wasn't all too rambly and pointless. We aren't in any sort of crisis situation, I just have this nagging feeling I should be doing more. Maybe it's just that I'm so used to always fighting and the district isn't putting up a fight. I spent all last year trying to get scribing for instance and in grade K the old school district called me daily to ask me to pick up DS or complain about behavior and I was always fighting with them about their punishment based approach to behavior management. The current school just seems to be good and that is really weird for me! I guess I want to make sure I'm not so happy with finally not having any big problems that I overlook little problems. I know no public school is ever going to be able to fully serve DS, he's way too much of an outlier, but I want to get him the best education possible given his circumstances!
