Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Boredom = class clown --- solution???

Hi SarahMarie,

I'm in Houston, originally from Indiana, so I can relate to your move.

We had the same problem with DS12 when he was in preschool. I tried to get them to do something else with him during the naptime, but they refused. We're Catholic too and wanted him in nice, sweet Catholic preschool where we were parishioners. We ended up moving him to another preschool (Methodist) that was more structured and looked the other way on state mandated nap time. It was a huge improvement and relief.

There's probably little you can do during this school year to change, because I know all of the preschools are usually waitlisted by the beginning of summer, but do start asking around as we are blessed to have a huge variety of programs in this city.

Please feel free to PM me. I don't know what area you're in, but I know people across the city and might be able to help you find a place that's a better fit.

Also, don't discount the impact of the move, the new baby and Harvey. I have one kid in private and one in public and we are still feeling the shock in both schools.

Never, ever use the word bored.

I don't get nap time. My kids both went to daycare and when the were obviously over napping they were put in the group that played outside at that time. To me it sounds like they are simply trying to avoid work for a while.

Hi Saritz,

It sounds like you went through pretty much the same thing. We are going to stick things out for the rest of the school year at least. We are currently living in Bellaire outside the loop and DS goes to school in Westbury. We will likely be moving to a new house in 2020 when our rental contracts expires and we go to buy a place. That's part of why I'm not keen on switching schools again this summer. I want to limit change as much as possible after the upheaval of this year, and knowing another move is in our future. I think we want to stay in Bellaire, but it will depend on what's available and what the market is doing at that time.

So glad you mentioned that, puffin. It's great if we can save another parent and/or child from going down that ill-fated path.

When advocating with the school, talking with a teacher, etc, avoid describing your kid as bored! Saying "bored" can backfire. This old thread has several posts about avoiding the word bored.

I think part of the problem is that we say bored we mean mentally bored = under challenged. Teachers and perhaps the rest of the world interpret bored to mean under occupied. This can result in more of the underchallenging work. They also more reasonably take it as an accusation that their class and by extension the teacher is boring. Read the linked thread above, it is a useful one.

I find "disengaged" to work better than "bored," personally.

The original post mentioned he acts up at home. What do you when he acts up at home? I have heard no mention of repercussions for his behavior at home? A timeout for example. It appears all the advice I read relates to the teacher. After the first time I had to pick him up my comment would of been if this happens again I'm taking away your.......

Hmmm... see that he "has had a greater tendency to act out, but this has improved dramatically in the past month (at least at home)."

While coaching a child to demonstrate good behavior, it can be effective to learn what the child is thinking when he makes his poor behavior choices, so that the root cause can be addressed/remedied (whether it is a specific trigger and/or immature/faulty thinking).

That said, kids may behave well at school and then decompress at home... acting out only at home. Kids need home to be a soft place to land, a safe place where they are understood. I'm not excusing poor behavior. Just encouraging understanding what the child is thinking (and therefore what the poor behavior is accomplishing) so that caring adults can help equip the child with better tools than acting out.

Based on the OP, I would tend to think that this child does not have appropriate challenge in school (curriculum level, placement, and pacing), therefore is not learning and growing... but rather is being taught to underachieve, in order to fit in.

Kids need appropriate challenge and academic/intellectual peers.

Just my opinion but when you are at home the parent has an easier time to focus on the child. At school a teacher cannot give that same attention.i have no doubt from all the posts that he does not have the appropriate challenge at school. That said it still doesn't excuse bad behavior at school.

I think we are all saying similar things.

If you are asking for how to advocate, here is a crowd-sourced list of tips and resources.

Begin by talking with your child and spouse so that you are all in agreement.