Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Not really gifted after all?

It's been a while since I've posted here. And mostly, that's because things have been running pretty smoothly for us.

We had DS7 tested last year, mostly because we wanted to get a better picture of what was going on. We worried there might be a LD because he was really struggling with learning to read and write. He also had some major OEs, which really caused a lot of stress and disruption for the whole family. He tested MG with no LDs. And it turns out that everything seems to have fallen into place - his reading and writing are solid now and more consistent with his general abilities, and the OEs really seem to have settled for the most part.

But here's the intriguing thing: He now seems to be perfectly NT. His reasoning skills, vocabulary and math skills still seem very strong, but there doesn't seem to be unusual stuff going on anymore. Could that be because he developed quickly and it has more or less evened out?

To be clear: I really couldn't care less either way whether he's gifted. He is still a bright child with so many amazing qualities and he brings joy to our lives everyday. Quite frankly, life is easier and more enjoyable for everyone now. I'm truly just curious whether anyone else has ever felt like it was a bit odd to have things settle down like this. I'm a bit fascinated by it all.

In the meantime, DS6 has started grade 1 and everything is going along really smoothly. I think he is also very bright, may be gifted, but we have no real need to test.

I would love thoughts, anecdotes, etc.

Quite honestly, over-excitability and behavior issues are not required to be gifted. This is true even for HG or PG people. Most time, when a gifted kid exhibits significant emotional/behavior issues, there is often a second e going on. ADHD or anxiety are the most often culprit.

Enjoy the smooth ride. If he was tested last year as gifted, he is most likely still gifted this year. He matured. Or maybe school/life works better this year. Just enjoy it.

OEs can flare under stress. An extra year of development goes a long way in helping a child persist through difficulty and frustration. It may simply be that his coping skills are more mature, so he's now able to address challenges independently with greater ease, making the OEs appear latent where they were once prominent.

Thank you for the response, Thomas Percy. But just to clarify - I meant to say that there is nothing exceptional going on with his intellectual abilities. That is, while he seemed quite advanced as a young child, that doesn't seem to be showing through anymore. For instance, he isn't showing as much interest in doing advanced math or anything anymore. Maybe it's just his interests that have changed, too. I just find it interesting.

I only mentioned the OEs and the behavioural issues because those were part of the reason we had him tested in the first place.

But thanks! And yes, we are absolutely enjoying it!

Not every intellectually gifted kids want to get ahead on math or other academic subjects. They may show more of that when they are young when other kids are really not interested at all. Now that they are all in school, the novelty is off. I really don't think this means anything at all. It may come back when something caught his imagination.

I don't really think MG kids behave all that differently other than they just got things more quickly or may be more deeply at school. I also think they don't dazzle you all that often when they are older.

Not every intellectually gifted kids want to get ahead on math or other academic subjects. They may show more of that when they are young when other kids are really not interested at all. Now that they are all in school, the novelty is off. I really don't think this means anything at all. It may come back when something caught his imagination.

I don't really think MG kids behave all that differently other than they just got things more quickly or may be more deeply at school. I also think they don't dazzle you all that often when they are older.

I would agree that there is no reason to change his classification (for whatever value that ever had) based on his presentation. Children find different outlets for their gifts at different times and in different settings. It may be that other aspects of life are sufficiently and pleasantly intriguing to him right now, so he doesn't need intense academic pursuits either to satisfy his need for stimulation, or to give himself an island of success in the midst of a sea of struggle (which, I think, is a change from some earlier stages of his development, if I recall correctly).

I'm happy for you and him that this year is unfolding so much more smoothly than has sometimes been the case!

Thanks to all three of you. You all make really interesting observations that make a lot of sense. Aquinas, I've sort of reasoned that the prominence/latency of his OEs is a reflection of the fact that he has developed the emotional intelligence and/or maturity to deal with his big emotions. He still has the big emotions and bursts of energy and frustrations and so forth, but is much better equipped to handle them.

In any case, I'm guessing that I won't be needing too much assistance on here from now on (fingers crossed). And since I don't have that much to offer in terms of advice, I may be sailing off into the sunset.