Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Lack of challenge and work ethic (AEH I pm'd you)

*Aeh I sent you a private message*

Long story short HG, Dd (6th grade) isn't doing her assigned worksheets and videos she is supposed to watch in math class. The concepts are things she was doing 3 years ago so I sympathize with her and don't feel like forcing her to sit through these videos lessons and doing these worksheets is teaching her the right lesson in life. Dh and her teacher think she needs to learn responsibility and just do it. For what it's worth she doesn't lack work ethic in her other classes where she feels engaged or challenged, so it's an issue isolated to her math class.

As for getting her differentiated work or advanced placement, this hasn't been successful but is something I'm still working on but doesn't sound like it will happen.

Maths is actually the easiest one to ditch at school and focus on at home.

The approach of Singapore Maths up to Pre-Algebra and Art of Problem Solving (AOPS) after that has been working for nearly 4 years now.

Some people also have success with "Russian Math".

We have tried school and AOPS and slowing her down by just doing school while also doing a Python class/playing with Arduino boards but are back to AOPS again here.

^^^^^^^

Right on!

(May not work for everyone's but it is the best that we can do ourselves right now)

I agree - if she's working hard on everything else, the problem is not her ethic, it's the class. It's important to fix the thing that is actually broken.

If it's impossible to change her class, can you do anything about her workload in that class? For each new worksheet topic, can she be required to do just enough to show mastery, and no more? I've never had any luck getting differentiated work, but I have often been able to just get work eliminated. Ideally, could she maybe even submit AoPS problems (that you find) on similar topics in lieu of the more basic questions she's getting at school?

I've heard an incredibly huge amount over the years about "he's got to learn responsibility"; "he's got to learn to just buckle down do the work"; "he's got to learn that in the real world we don't just get to do the parts we like". And I have seen huge damage caused by these well-meaning but completely clueless views. What kids actually learn? To hate math. To believe that their learning needs are illegitimate. To not respect their teachers. To see education as a waste of time. And for some kids, to start building up huge anxiety about such classes and work, leading to shutting down, acting up, or depression. Sorry to sound a little over-the-top here, but I've lived way too much of this, and it's not benign.

One of the best things I ever heard a parent say was "I just want my kid to work as hard, and as long, as everyone else in the class." Now THAT is teaching work ethic.

I'm starting to think this approach might be the best way to get through to educators who are opposed to gifted-specific options. Truly, I think this is what most parents want for their children--to develop fully as (in hackneyed edu-speak) "whole" students.

Every other student in the class is learning perseverance, executive function, coping with failure, resilience, and work ethic. If a gifted child is unchallenged, that child is being deprived of FAR MORE life lessons that correlate with successful life outcomes. The actual academic content is merely an instrument that allows access to those other (often more important) lessons.

When phrased that way, it's especially unconscionable of educators to deny students their right to PERSONAL development in school. Would we deny children on the autism spectrum access to social skills classes, or children with physical disabilities physical therapy, when those are necessary life skills?

To the OP I will add--it's not an issue of work ethic, it's an issue of inappropriate curriculum. The perceived "problem" with the former will, in all likelihood, disappear when the appropriate level curriculum is provided to your DD.

Sadly, the answer is "yes" every day in a lot of schools.

Sick and unethical.

Agreed!

Kids need an appropriate challenge.