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    Joined: Apr 2014
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    aeh Offline
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    I would absolutely agree with mana that parenting is so much more than cognition and academics. I don't believe I have the same situation in terms of LOG, but my parents certainly did (not with me; with my sib), and they both have terminal degrees as well. My sib was a preteen when they handed over household accounts and taxes for the business -- because that was the most qualified person to do them (better than the CPA who had been doing their taxes!).

    This did not in any way prevent them from parenting effectively, absolve them of responsibility, or eliminate the need for parenting. No, my sib has never, so far as I can tell, been challenged academically, even in grad school or beyond (and that's with extremely radical acceleration), but life contains many more challenges and lessons to learn than academics. My parents were honest, engaged, curious, respectful, and most of all, loving with us, articulating and modeling life principles, and demonstrating that we (and others) were valuable for our humanity, rather than our abilities. "To whom much is given, much is required " was drilled into us; we have not earned our native abilities, and thus have no basis for viewing ourselves as intrinsically superior to anyone else. Rather, gifts are a trust to be administered for the greater good.

    Will there be parenting challenges for you? Of course there will. Parenting is uniquely challenging for every parent-child combination. But you've been entrusted with this child, and because you so clearly care about his development and happiness, you will be able to learn how to parent him as all of you grow together through the child-rearing process.

    Last edited by aeh; 07/21/17 04:42 AM. Reason: More

    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
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    Well put aeh smile

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    Agreed, well put.

    My kids might be able to learn and absorb info at a shocking rate and in some areas they are much more of an expert than I am but there is always more out there to explore. The older they get, the quicker their questioning results in a "I don't know" from me/DH but then we switch to "what do you think?" or "let's look that up together" or even them teaching me a thing or two. We've had some profoundly deep conversations about life and death with them starting as preschoolers where I certainly don't know all the answers but it is fascinating to talk about with them and see how their perspective changes over the years. I'm not always their teacher or guide and my role is morphing into more of a partner along for the ride and encouraging their love and thirst for learning in any way I can.

    The other piece of the puzzle for me is to try to find space/new experiences to expose them to and let them explore and broaden their skills and experience. Regardless of how high their IQ's are there is still much to be learned from life experience. It can be little things like chores and helping with house projects. It can be bigger things like participating in sports, the arts, public service, museums, community events or travel. For travel it doesn't even have to be big - just taking public transit downtown in our hometown can be an adventure especially when you get them to plan the route and be the guides. There are lots of life skills and perspective to be gained by expanding our little bubble.

    I also aim to put them in situations where they are more "average". DS11, for example, is not particularly sporty/athletic but we keep signing him up for various team sports. It has been great for him to struggle to learn something, work on it and finally master it. It has been great for him to experience being average or even the worst player on a team. It has been great for him to make mistakes and learn to lose with class. He's learning to be teammates with a wide variety of kids. These are all skills that will serve him well in many aspects of life.

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    Emigee Offline OP
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    Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I was having a freak-out moment last night. Your thoughtful responses have helped me step back and see the larger picture again.

    Aeh, I especially appreciated your description of your own parents' approach. They sound like amazing people.

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    Your DS clearly has extreme focus and high ability in specific domains. You have done an excellent job in providing a stimulating environment. Short of medical catastrophes or extreme deprivation, he will not end up anywhere near average. However, at age 4, it is difficult to see where he will end up in ten years or even in five years. Children has such diverse rate and timing of development as well as so many potential areas of development at any given time. Focus and passions also change. If his IQ concerns you, then perhaps consider testing in a year (minimum age for DYS) even though it will be another five years (about age 9) before IQ is likely to be stabilized. In short and in answer to your specific question posed at the end, I would not be overly "concerned with meeting his educational needs" or "just pleased that he is a bright kid" either. Perhaps somewhere in between: start familiarizing yourself with educational options/supplements but consider his "brightness" as just another characteristic rather than an issue of joy/pride.

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