Have I ever mentioned....

{shiftily looks around}

Pirate Chess?

This is a holdover from my own childhood and a PG dad, incidentally. It's only tangentially related to the Christmas Wolf, also a heartwarming artifact of being raised BY a PG person.

Do tell?

Think Wizard Chess meets Monty Python and you'll have a rough idea.

The "Cap'n" got to make an additional rule after each capture of a "royal" game piece, that's also my recollection. My dad hated to lose. LOL.

There were also rules about needing to state "Yer in check, matey" in a good Pirate-voice, too.

The loser had to sing a pirate song on some occasions. There were also songs to remember the moves and strategies that I (at 3-5yo) was being taught, as well. I do recall that.

My father was an interesting person, as is probably obvious. But this was WAY before any cute YouTube instructions existed for anything. Before cable TV, actually. He did teach me basic chess rather well using this method.

I think we may have to institute this rule!

The English language has gone rogue, and must be bent to DD10's will.

She was updating me on her progress in "Divergent," which she restarted the night before:

DD: I'm at the part where they're having dinner the day after the appitude test.

Me: Hehehe... "appitude."

DD: Well, that's how you say it!

Me: Hey, don't give me no appitude.

DD: Wait, is it... (flip-flip-flip)... aptitude?

Me: Yep.

DD: THAT SOUNDS SO STUPID!!

I just can't help it - I need to post another. Who else can I tell?
DD has always always always drawn cartoons that are snarky, funny, and quirky. She also ends up making these statements that I hope to see in a book someday. Today she was looking at our new puppy's hair after DD's big sister smoothed puppy's hair into a Mohawk and announced "I just love "puppy's" mousse infused hair!"
What kind of 10 year old uses the word infused? It brings to mind the time she used the phrase "stereotypical girls" and all the other kids at the 9 year old birthday party stated that she was so weird. Yep - she's different, and it's just so cool.

DS just turned 4 (not gifted as far as we know) has a speech delay and is still mixing up she and he pronouns. He used the wrong pronoun for his grandmother today and I asked him "Is Nanna a he or a she?" He replied "A she, because she has XX in her cells!" DS6 pipes up "yeah, and we have XY chromosomes. Not fair! Why do girls get a match!"

This is too hilarious not to share:
My daughter was singing German songs when:

My wife: "I am so proud of you for learning German"
DD3: "I can teach you German"
My Wife: "I would love that."
DD3: "Say 'Deutsch'."
My Wife: "Deutsch"
DD3: "Now you know how to say German."

Those are so sweet!

My 4yo at breakfast told us he finally knew how Daddy became a Daddy. We waited very anxiously to see how on earth he'd anything about the birds and the bees.

DS then reports, "Daddy, while you were asleep, Mommy bought you glasses. Then when you woke up, you put them on and you were a Daddy!"

Whew, our very innocent four-year-old is still blissfully innocent.