Gifted Bulletin Board

Welcome to the Gifted Issues Discussion Forum.

We invite you to share your experiences and to post information about advocacy, research and other gifted education issues on this free public discussion forum.
CLICK HERE to Log In. Click here for the Board Rules.

Links


Learn about Davidson Academy Online - for profoundly gifted students living anywhere in the U.S. & Canada.

The Davidson Institute is a national nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted students through the following programs:

  • Fellows Scholarship
  • Young Scholars
  • Davidson Academy
  • THINK Summer Institute

  • Subscribe to the Davidson Institute's eNews-Update Newsletter >

    Free Gifted Resources & Guides >

    Who's Online Now
    0 members (), 167 guests, and 10 robots.
    Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
    Newest Members
    parentologyco, Smartlady60, petercgeelan, eterpstra, Valib90
    11,410 Registered Users
    March
    S M T W T F S
    1 2
    3 4 5 6 7 8 9
    10 11 12 13 14 15 16
    17 18 19 20 21 22 23
    24 25 26 27 28 29 30
    31
    Previous Thread
    Next Thread
    Print Thread
    Joined: Feb 2014
    Posts: 582
    G
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    G
    Joined: Feb 2014
    Posts: 582
    DD12 has been evaluated and assessed every which way, and she has had enough. The psych I see (because DD won't go) recommends we leave DD out of therapy as she wishes for now (until DD is more open to it). The problem is that everyone who has seen DD has contradictory views of the assessments so we are confused. Anxiety? Depression? ADHD inattentive? DH and I are pretty sure the ADHD diagnosis is valid (the in home behavior just screams inattentive), and we are interested in really determining this and are open to meds. So, the latest step in our quest for DD help is perhaps an appointment with a developmental and behavioral doctor recommended by DD's pediatrician. Our psych, the woman who administered DD's IQ test, urged me to make sure the doctor had experience working with high gifted children. I called this morning, and DD could get an appt. for June.
    Questions:
    I tried to explain to the doctor's office that DD is HG+, but I am afraid I came off as "one of those parents" because the new client assistant assured me that the doctor often works with gifted children. Do I verify this by asking if he knows about SENG, DYS, etc? My experience now with the medical community is I know way more than they do about HG children.

    Is a developmental and beh. specialist someone who could verify ADHD? If not, just go to a basic psychiatrist? The psychs. we know have little knowledge of gifted issues.

    Sigh. This is so tricky. I read that biological parents of HG+ children find their kids enigmas. DH and I are MG, have our grad degrees, and so are pretty bright (although my IQ is fading, I swear), but DD is just so outside of our experience. I sometimes feel that I am failing to effectively parent her, that perhaps she is not reaching her full potential.

    Joined: Jun 2016
    Posts: 289
    S
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    S
    Joined: Jun 2016
    Posts: 289
    I took DS to a pediatric psychologist who was able to tease out gifted, ADHD, anxiety, depression chicken/egg situation in about 20 minutes. It was awesome. He referred us to a pediatrician who specializes in medication management for ADHD. A psychiatrist can handle medication management, but in my experience, a psychiatrist is more likely to misdiagnose. I am very leery of psychiatric misdiagnosis as I've suffered through that. I have a medical condition of the autonomic nervous system and ADHD, but I ended up being diagnosed with everything from bipolar disorder to an eating disorder! Whoops. 😳

    I didn't think that a doctor or psychologist's experience with highly intelligent children was relevant until the psychologist later started pushing reward/punishment systems for behavior modification. (If those had worked, he wouldn't need a therapist. :rolleyes: ).

    I think that feeling like one is failing is a normal experience for parents, and that "full potential" might be a myth. Don't beat yourself up for things outside your control. (((hugs)))

    Joined: Apr 2013
    Posts: 5,244
    Likes: 1
    I
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    I
    Joined: Apr 2013
    Posts: 5,244
    Likes: 1
    Originally Posted by greenlotus
    assured me that the doctor often works with gifted children. Do I verify this by asking if he knows about SENG, DYS, etc?
    I would tend to suggest asking how many patients with IQ 168+ the doctor has worked with (fill in your child's IQ). You may not get a number as a reply, but the response you do get may be very telling... it could range from ho-hum (doctor sees a lot of patients with that high of an IQ) to WOW (doctor sees few patients with an IQ in that neighborhood). It is helpful to prepare for this type of introductory phone call as you would for an advocacy meeting; For example have your list of well-thought-out questions prepared (and discussed with your spouse) prior to calling.

    Originally Posted by greenlotus
    My experience now with the medical community is I know way more than they do about HG children.
    Yes, unfortunately many professionals are not trained in "gifted", although our children would benefit greatly if they were. Our children are a very small minority of the population and therefore may be overlooked and suffer benign neglect. It often helps to remember that we, as parents of gifted children, also were once lacking information about giftedness.

    As parents, we can always invite others to join these forums, mention SENG, etc. Some parents have prepared a brief typed information sheet of favorite gifted links and pass a copy along when it seems appropriate to do so.

    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 4,047
    A
    aeh Offline
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    A
    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 4,047
    sanne, I'm sorry you've had a poor experience with psychiatrists, but if you get a good child psychiatrist, actually my professional experience with them has been very positive. This all depends on getting a good one, of course. I would also say that there is a huge difference between a general or adult psychiatrist and a child/adolescent psychiatrist. In my opinion, I would rather involve a child psychiatrist than a pediatrician who specializes in ADHD (because if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail).

    I'm okay with dev/beh peds for relatively straightforward conditions, but really complex behavioral health concerns sometimes are beyond their skills. Again, this is very physician-dependent, as I've also encountered very skilled dev peds.

    IOW, indigo's advice (as is so often the case!) is the key. You'll have to spec out the doc case-by-case.


    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
    Joined: Aug 2011
    Posts: 739
    P
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    P
    Joined: Aug 2011
    Posts: 739
    I can only weigh in with my personal experience with one child. However I can tell you finding the right psychotherapist made all the difference in the world for my DD. As she was crashing and burning coming out of first grade I located a 2E adult who was also the parent of a 2E child. She got DD immediately in our first phone conversation. In fact she said to me "She reminds me so much of myself I'm dyslexic but I went to Harvard." I realize that this is striking gold and that not everybody can locate someone like this. However it was truly life-changing for DD. This psychologist was able to explain to people in a way that I as a parent could not. And she did explain over and over. And so eventually the school district got it. I mean really got it. This blazed a trail for us and made life so much easier moving forward over the years.

    Years later I realized that DD really needed a developmental pediatrician. The pediatrician who had worked with us since birth had really become a roadblock. Not only did she not get it she did not get it in a big way. There was one developmental pediatrician recommended over and over but I had not felt he was an appropriate match. My DD did not have developmental or cognitive delays. She was not on the spectrum. I believed he was an expert more in low functioning kids. And besides his practice was impossible to get into. I called one day and had a long conversation with a member of his staff just to see if he could make any recommendations of who I should take her to. A few days later the staff member called to say that in explaining DD's situation to the doctor he agreed to take her on as a new patient despite his practice being closed. And I mean closed as in a six month wait to even talk to somebody about the possibility of getting on a waiting list. It has been awesome. In the first 2 months in his practice I had more meaningful conversations with the doctor then I had in DD's entire 10 1/2 year lifetime with prior pediatrician. Even if he had never seen a child with DD's individual profile before he was used to seeing outside the box kids. He got it. She was an individual not someone who had to try to fit into a pre-existing category. Once again I struck gold.

    Before I found the original psychologist I tried psychiatrists. What I found was that psychiatrists tend to become involved almost solely for the purpose of prescribing medication. I had one tell me on the phone during an initial discussion what medication he would provide without ever having met her. She had no psychiatric diagnosis or ADHD. There was no reason to medicate her. Yet he told me what medication he would prescribe before he ever met her. Needless to say he scared me off psychiatrists.

    I think one of the best pieces of advice I got early on from DD's psychologist was that it was my job to "translate" for DD. There is nothing typical about my daughter. Most people will try to place her into categories with which they are familiar. And most professionals want or need to feel like they are the experts in the room. But I am the expert in my child. It was my job to "translate" DD to the world and the world to DD. If someone is interested they love working with my DD. Not only is she sweet, cooperative and eager to learn but she will likely add something new to their professional experience. Almost no one has seen a kid like her before. If they are not open to learning something from me or from DD then it will be a disaster. No matter how well known an "expert" that person may seem to be. It's a great litmus test. In my experience this is much more important than looking for experience with gifted kids. Someone who insists that they know more about your child without ever having met them then you possibly could in a lifetime raising them should raise a red flag. So maybe you could get an introductory parent appointment with this developmental pediatrician and feel them out.

    And my advice parent to parent is don't worry about the "full potential" thing. Just do the best you can and don't put too much pressure on yourself. These kids are complicated. The more evaluations and the more diagnoses you get the muddier the water gets. So relax, take a deep breath and just keep on keeping on.

    {hugs}

    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 4,047
    A
    aeh Offline
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    A
    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 4,047
    Bravo.


    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...

    Moderated by  M-Moderator 

    Link Copied to Clipboard
    Recent Posts
    Testing with accommodations
    by aeh - 03/27/24 01:58 PM
    Quotations that resonate with gifted people
    by indigo - 03/27/24 12:38 PM
    For those interested in astronomy, eclipses...
    by indigo - 03/23/24 06:11 PM
    California Tries to Close the Gap in Math
    by thx1138 - 03/22/24 03:43 AM
    Gifted kids in Illinois. Recommendations?
    by indigo - 03/20/24 05:41 AM
    Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5