Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Executive Function Issues: Best school?

Edited: majority of post removed for privacy reasons

I am wondering if the solution for executive issue functions is to find a school that emphasizes academics and challenge, but is light on requirements for executive functioning skills? Perhaps a school that uses textbooks and notebooks (instead of worksheets and internet printouts) and emphasizes deep learning and end-of-quarter/semester assignments/quizzes versus continuous testing and homework. I am open to other suggestions. If you were in my shoes what will you do?

This type of behavior by a teacher would be totally unacceptable. You must have documentation. Work with your son to record the date, time of day, class, assignment missing, and other pertinent details of each occurrence. What the teacher did, what the teacher said. How the class reacted. How your son reacted.

Forgetting occasionally may be normal... but on the other hand, have you had him assessed for possible 2e?

1. Document
2. Consider assessment
3. Have him bring his binder home each day and talk him through a sorting process. He may wish to place the date on each paper or worksheet as a way to keep his papers sorted and ready to be turned in.

If such a school may be found, your son may be successful in the short term, but developing executive function skills provides life-long benefit.

Here are some links which may be of interest -
1. Understood.org - executive function skills
2. Wrightslaw - executive function skills

His teacher sounds nuts.This is not necessarily a school issue. It could be just this one teacher.

If he is 5th grade, wouldn't he be in middle school next year?

If you can swing it, a smaller private school could be a more nurturing environment for these type of things. My son's school has study skill class for 5th and 6th grade, where they learn how to organize a project, breaking big tasks into small ones, make a to do list/calendar for their schedule etc. We are not there yet but it sounds great. I wish I was taught some of that. And they do use textbooks, something most public schools don't do anymore.

I agree completely with indigo. Document it!

I would also suggest having him seen by a psychologist to screen him for anxiety and ADHD. This is an extra form of documentation of the effect the teacher has on your son, plus it gives you an idea if your son actually has executive function challenges or if the teacher has unreasonable expectations.

The results of ADHD testing would provide a direction on how to approach the school, but my aim would be to intervene to get organizational flexibility. Maybe this would be through an IEP process, maybe a frank discussion with the teacher, maybe requesting (demanding) change of classroom.

The results of anxiety assessment would provide direction also. I would be less strategically patient than indigo - only because I'd be all kinds of upset (reactive) over the situation. Check your state's laws here. My state (WI) has a loophole for extended excused absence, up to 30 days. If you have something like that, I would be asking the psychologist for a note/letter/rx for extended school absense so you have time to sort this out without risking your son being retaliated against. I'm very pro-homeschool, so I'd also suggest that with just a couple months left in the school year, you would have an opportunity to test the waters. Check if your state has open enrollment, perhaps he can enroll in another district's school - or virtual school?

I hadn't thought about documenting each of these incidents but will talk to DS and start that process tomorrow.

I will also look into screening for ADHD, I hadn't done this before because prior to 5th grade, he did not have significant organizational issues. I have taken a look at the ADHD criteria in the past and he didn't seem to satisfy them. He doesn't forget a lot, only occasionally, but he is your stereotypical absent minded professor sometimes.

Indigo the websites you've linked have a lot of useful info, I will take more time to go through them. From a quick glance at the wrightslaw website it looks like schools do not recognize exec. functioning issues unless there is an accompanying diagnosis.

I have just come back from staples and bought lots of folders to help him organize his papers. I am also thinking of putting a small table in his bedroom for him to do his homework, this way there will be less chance of papers going astray. Unfortunately, I don't have access to his locker at school so I can't take a peak inside it to see how he has organized his stuff there.

Sanne, his anxiety is only related to school due to the issues he is having this year, but I will look into an assessment if it will help.

I don't want to overreact so that he doesn't suffer for it in school. However, I have thought of pulling him out to homeschool him on a temporary basis but since he has come this far I think I should wait for the state tests to be over.

I agree that he does have to acquire some solid executive functioning skills for the long term, but think that I need to get him back to liking school again.

Thomas your small private school sounds wonderful, DH and I need to sit down and talk about the costs of private school. DS will be in middle school next year, where the EF demands will be increased. However, I do think this behavior maybe limited to this one 5th grade elementary school teacher. I am going to reach out to a few middle school parents to get their perspective.

My kids both have something called a "Mighty Zip Tab" where literally all of their stuff goes, they don't even carry backpacks. I have a copy of the math text at home so DS doesn't have to lug it back and forth, but he rarely has homework for math. The Mighty Zip Tab ans a file system which you could label for each subject, or else get 3 ring dividers that have pockets for papers. Then if he has notebooks they can also go on the 3 rings. Have each subject with a divider on the 3 rings. It even has a pouch for pencils and things. Look it up on Amazon. DD is in middle school and carries it from class to class. The teacher sounds crazy. I can't even imagine what her reaction would be to my daughter...my daughter would make her go over the deep end. If the ridicule continues you should report it to the principal, since that's not acceptable.

Executive functioning is a topic near my heart. My DS10 is in 4th grade with ADHD, social pragmatics impairments, and executive functioning issues. Here are some thoughts:

1. You want to get your DS an evaluation. Executive functioning deficits can stem from a few different issues.

2. We've tried all kinds of organizing methods. Simple works best for us-- accordion folders, sticky notes in the planner with one or two important reminders to pick up/hand in homework, short lists for prioritizing homework.

You might consider a reward system for writing down homework assignments. We eventually had to resort to a bonus screen time reward because my DS simply could not remember to write things down without an incentive.

3. If the executive functioning stems from ADD, you might be able to get support at school.

4. A launchpad at home- a dedicated table, mudroom, etc. Somewhere to put/find things that is constant. He will need this throughout life when he begins to lose phones, keys, work papers, etc.

5. Homework- same place every night (preferably a place with few distractions) no exceptions. If you can't do homework at the same time- at least shoot for a homework routine.

6. Simple calendar- it may take a long time for your DS to consistently refer to a calendar, but eventually he will...it will help him consider long term planning.

If the issues are mostly organizing (vs. starting/completing tasks, organizing thoughts or other academic problems) consider your son fortunate.

Lastly, if your son is experiencing school anxiety, it's important to talk with the teacher. School anxiety is the worst- we had to deal with this last year. Dropping a tearful, worried nine year old off at school every day just broke my heart. Kids with EF issues *try*- they *want* to do what comes easily to other kids, but it's so difficult and they need support. It's absolutely unacceptable and unkind for a teacher to ridicule a student.

He's having trouble remembering to put his completed homework in his folder? And that his binder/folder is overflowing? Are those the core issues? When he has the homework in his folder, does he remember to turn it in in class?

If so, I recommend that you work with him to ensure that his homework is in his folder every evening and that his folder is in his backpack, ready to go in the morning. It may take many repetitions of you reminding him, but eventually he will remember on his own.

As for the binder, when you have an hour or two to spare, work with him to organize his binder and get him a second one if you have to. Then once a week have him transfer the papers that have been graded (or are no longer in play) from the folder to the binder. This will take a lot of executive functioning on your part to ensure that this is done, but you are modeling what it takes to stay organized over time for him. Eventually, he will be able to do this on his own.

By the way, when I say "eventually," the time scale I'm referring to is in years, not days or weeks.

That said, the teacher's behavior about forgotten homework is unprofessional (at best).

Thanks for your suggestions Blackcat, Cammom and Kai.

I am afraid all his papers will fall out at once from accordion if he tries to get something out of it in a hurry, so I will ordered the Mighty zip instead (I like however everything is zipped up in it). I will also order some high-pocket stay-put folders or Velcro folders to put in it, since his papers look like they will fall out of the plastic folders I got from Staples.

We do have a mudroom cubby where he hangs up his backpack. I think what he needs is a small dedicated homework table which I will have to put in his room, with all his supplies. I will make sure he takes his backpack to his room to do his homework and brings it back to the mudroom after he has completed his work.

I am interested in a calendar for him as you suggested Cammom, it will be great if it has an alarm/alert system in it as well. Do you or anyone else have a suggestion for one I can easily find online or at a place like Staples or Target? I am thinking of an electronic one or will that be unnecessary for what I am trying to accomplish?

Kai I like the idea of a second binder, if the teacher will agree with that, it will help him a lot. I think all the paper in his binder is compounding the issue. The core issue is that he did not hand in 3 pieces of homework. I am assuming this is because either he misplaced them at home or in school, he doesn't know what happened.

Academic work, starting/completing tasks and organizing his thoughts are not an issue for him, organizing himself and his materials between tasks appears to be issue he is having. He is a loss as to why he is not able to do this easily, I agree he is trying but is not able do this as easily as other kids. It breaks my heart to see how unhappy he is to go to school everyday.

I will look into doing the assessments during the summer so we know where we stand by the start of middle school.